100 METER BUTTERFLY (USA DANA VOLLMER- GOLD!)
400 METER FREESTYLE RACE (USA ALLISON SCHMITT- SILVER)
Brandy: Olympics Sunday Night. Ladies swimming!
Julie: Spandex and one pieces and little boobs.
Brandy: This guy keeps saying it's important that they be in adjacent lanes. I wonder why that matters.
Julie: Hmm. I dunno. In fact what does adjacent mean?
Brandy: Next to each other. I guess these are all just qualifying rounds to get to the ultimate race for the medals.
Julie: Ohhh..so the Americans could be one and 2 against each other. 15 years old!? From Lithuania...Liesel. Get outta there.
Brandy: Omg! And she started crying. That was cute.
Julie: That was cute. In fact I'd like to see more crying. There hasn't been enough.
Julie: Isn't it weird that some people will experience the Olympics and getting medals...We never will.
Brandy: Yeah and then they'll end up like Bruce Jenner.
Julie: Well at least we could still end up like that without a medal.
Brandy: Shit. You're right.
Julie: A trodden down, face-lifted shell of a man. Nacho is playing with the Chik-Fil-A cow again. Maybe I could get a good pic of him killing it and it will become part of the Chik-Fil-A gay movement. And it can be another thing I don't make money on.
Brandy: He needs to be the posterdog for butt-fucking Chik-Fil-A.
Brandy: I wonder if the swimmers ever come up with boogs in their nose.
Julie: It shouldn't, but watching this makes me wanna smoke.
Brandy: You should have a cigarette. In honor of Amurica.
Julie: She has def boogs.
Brandy: We should watch Nadia this week. See if it's on Netflix. It's so eighties and as a kid I only cared about the part when she was a kid with her bff. I rewound and rewatched that part all day long. But now I'll be able to appreciate when she's older and bulimic.
Julie: Is that a documentary?
Brandy: It's a movie. Like a Lifetime movie.
Julie: Ohhhhh. Well then ok. Yes pahlease. I never saw that.
Brandy: It's SO good!
Julie: God if just one boob would pop out it'd be legendary. But they are IN there. I enjoy how they splash themselves before going in like an old Jewish lady getting into the pool.
Brandy: Their armpits kinda look like tits.
Julie: And their tits look like armpits.
Brandy: You can imagine a nipple on there and see if you find that erotic.
Julie: Armpit nipple.
Julie: If Serena and Venus Williams made the water costumes it'd be much more exciting.
Brandy: Yes. These look WEIRD.
Julie: When I'm not fat I think I'll have a weird thick necked swimmers body. And I don't swim. I can barely breathe.
Brandy: This girl is 16 and I just want to shake her and say, "Don't put that thing on your nose! You're gonna fuck your nose up! Do you really want to live with a smooshed nose for the rest of your life Missy??"
Julie: Why what happens to the nose?
Brandy: Literally her name is Missy. She put some air thing on it to squeeze it shut.
Julie: Oh right - well she can't live with herself if boogs come out. Wow she came in first.
Brandy: Yay! First or nothing at alllllllll!
Julie: First or nothing at all. Blam.
Brandy: Rachel Bootsma is up! Bootsma. What an interesting last name.
Julie: They're all fucking with their suits. I swear whoever is making these things is just wrong. Bootsmmba. Is it Jewish?
Brandy: Ha! Bootsman? Bootsstein?
Julie: I wonder if Booger is someone's last name.
Julie: Hah boogerberg.
Brandy: Yes. Goldbooger.
Julie: Boogerman. Boogerbaum.
Julie: Haha..! LIpbooger. Hebrewbooger. Lichtenboog! Hahahaha. Mordechai Lichtenboog.