It’s Not Me, It’s Them: On Wanting To Break Up With Facebook

Special Note: Autostraddle’s “First Person” column exists for individual queer people to tell their own personal stories and share compelling experiences. These personal essays do not necessarily reflect the ideals of Autostraddle or its editors, nor do any First Person writers intend to speak on behalf of anyone other than themselves. First Person writers are simply speaking honestly from their own hearts.


Thursday was a normal day – I worked 8 to 12 and 2 to 6, wrote an Autostraddle article on my break, thought about my dog, and waited for a bus for 25 minutes to get home. That was when it happened.

I attempted to log in to my Facebook at approximately 6:10 PM. I hate the Facebook app for the iPhone, so when an error message popped up I moved back on to my Drake mix. The bus came. I went home.

That was when it happened.

Facebook dot com slash checkpoint. My personal content, presumably images, from Slutwalk DC reported as being from 2012 despite being posted in 2011 had been deemed offensive or otherwise unfit from a member of the Facebook team. Now I wasn’t being let in, despite having been a member of Facebook since 2007 and sticking with the network after the rape joke controversy, after they complicated the layout in an effort to cover up Mark Zuckerberg’s robbery of intellectual property.

Despite the knowledge in the back of my mind that I use Facebook for work, for activism, for projects, I hesitate even now to ever proceed past the checkpoint. Because I’m sort of a slut. Because I can’t promise to ever surrender to anyone, and especially to an oppressive website. Because I know it will and can happen again. Because Facebook broke up with me and instead of muttering “it isn’t you, it’s me” half-heartedly while texting their next girl, they told me I had to change to find a place in their world. And yet, the idea of completely letting go is conflicting and difficult.

Facebook is a website we are sort of programmed to use, kind of trapped inside of. When my friends deleted their Facebook profiles throughout college or high school, the question was never “why” because we all know why: because it is run by sexists, because it capitalizes on human socialization for greed, because it makes us into socially awkward and socially anxious little humans and because at the end of the day, your ex is still posting lame poems on her wall and it will inevitably show up in your feed. The question was always how: “how will you know when people are partying?!” and “how will you remember your entire life via images posted on this website if you don’t have one?” How will you stay in touch with me from Paris? How will you wish me happy birthday from New Jersey? Without Facebook, do you exist? The verdict was always out.

The ability to report content as offensive, harassment, spam, or otherwise in violation of Facebook’s community standards is a valuable tool. The problem is that the tool requires a subjective opinion behind-the-scenes, and that Facebook has proven again and again that those opinions are not progressive or based in a desire for equity and safety for its users. Despite Facebook including a note that “it’s possible that something could be disagreeable or disturbing to you without meeting the criteria for being removed or blocked,” my Slutwalk content was removed. I was locked out of my own account unless I agreed that posting pictures of the activist movement that I was honored to be a part of was offensive, and essentially recanted.

this is offensive

Facebook dragged their feet at the mere idea of removing pages and groups that poked fun at rape and sexual violence, and even incited the act, despite safety being described in their community standards document as their “top priority.” As a queer woman of color, I have been asked to quiet down many times. At bars, on the subway, in my dormitory lounge, in classes, during meetings, in my Camp cabin, at my grandmother’s dinner table. When I began using the Internet I was amazed how easy it was to speak out, to be heard, to feel visible and present, to participate. Facebook is the main tool we used to plan the 2011 Slutwalk march, and it allowed us to remain consistently in contact with our volunteers. It is how I promote events ranging from my 22nd birthday bonanza to Eileen Myles’ speaking engagement on my campus in March. I have used Facebook to share my schedule with my friends each semester, post pictures from the Prop 8 protests in 2008, and post articles about how much I wished the company would put a woman on their board. Hate Facebook as I might, I used it because it is by far the most widely used network of its kind on the entire web, and the more connected it became the more relied upon I allowed it to be in my work, my personal life, and my bouts of boredom.

But now I face an attack from the platform that allowed us to share photos of my dog after he passed in 2008 as a family, a platform that allowed me to share ideas and get feedback, a platform I have used to spread awareness and build solidarity, a platform that made it possible for me to connect to people I had met and had loved but lived nowhere near and might not ever see again.

I posted about Facebook’s decision to lock me out of my account the night it happened, frantically attempting to summarize the situation in 140 characters.

The next day, I posted an image of the exact message I received at my checkpoint to Tumblr, and added some editorial about why I was troubled at the format of the warning. I was offered one choice: “continue.” In order to proceed to my home page, to my thousands of friends, to my five years’ worth of albums and my photos of Eli’s first bath, I had to hit “continue.” I had to admit I had done something wrong, had to retroactively give consent for the removal of my content, had to agree implicitly never to do it again. I didn’t even know what I had done, because Facebook hadn’t told me specifically which content was so offensive. In order to “continue,” what do I have to do? Maybe I have to stop going to controversial protests, or stop being someone who protests at all. Maybe I have to retreat back into a place of attempted “normalcy,” in which I comply with Facebook’s desire to silence my opinions but use my matter for marketing numbers. Maybe I have to stop being a slut, or stop believing in them.

If I hit “continue” I am almost lying about why I was on Facebook in the first place. I am pretending that I was on Facebook to conform, and not to amplify my own screaming. I am pretending that I ever gave a fuck about people like Kim who don’t agree with my revolution, and not that I enjoyed using the privacy controls to block adults and my conservative cousins from ever weighing in on what I believed in. I am pretending that I ever wanted to participate in an online community where I could be policed for believing in a world without sexual violence, silenced when I attempt to break the sound barrier. If I hit “continue” I accept without kicking or screaming that Facebook is not for me anymore, not the me I love, and I must kick and scream. Because I recognize that something wrong has happened. Because my Facebook did more good than my Tumblr post – because I used it to share petitions, to write feminist manifestos for my class, to spotlight misogyny. Because I meet regularly with activists on Facebook for my current projects. Because I was using Facebook both to connect to people and in an earnest and heartfelt attempt to do some good in this fucked-up world.

I feel now that I have been locked out of a gated community where all of my friends live and love, pushed out of a clique I started in the first place. In 2007 I begged all of my friends to move from MySpace to Facebook. Now I feel like there are no open apartments and I have nowhere to put my stuff.

I want Facebook to restore my content. I want Facebook to restore my content and send me an apology written in comic sans and get rid of that god-awful message and give my friends and family back to me and let me talk once more about what I believe in, what I ate for dinner, and who Drake beat up in the club. I want Facebook to give me back my virtual workplace and classroom of five years. I want Facebook to put a woman in their boardroom. I want Facebook to stand up and use the human power they have harnessed for something other than muting my already raspy and tiny voice.

I want Facebook to give me the freedom merely to exist.

And yet I feel in this instance that I am asking for too much.


Special Note: Autostraddle’s “First Person” personal essays do not necessarily reflect the ideals of Autostraddle or its editors, nor do any First Person writers intend to speak on behalf of anyone other than themselves. First Person writers are simply speaking honestly from their own hearts.

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Carmen

Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.

69 Comments

  1. FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

    Facebook can (and chooses to) block you because somebody didn’t like your protest? What the hell?

    • the fb help page offers no contact information, and the customer service line is not actually available because nobody will speak to you on the phone unless you are law enforcement. BUT i emailed a bunch of fb addresses (press@ complaint@ legal@ fb.com)!!

  2. I gave up facebook 9 months ago and I haven’t looked back. Mark zuckerf**k is a data mining whore. By the time I left, (which I am sure is still true of my friends) every post was a picture of food.

  3. Wait, I’m confused. So Facebook sent you the message that person wrote… essentially like, “Read this inane rambling!” Or am I getting something totally wrong?

      • That’s also freaking me out. I mean, what if you have a legit complaint about someone’s content (like hate speech), do they send the person you’re reporting your message WITH YOUR NAME? That’s terrifying.

  4. And the irony begins, as I was alerted to an autostraddle content update, on my facebook newsfeed.

  5. I rarely ever comment on anything, anywhere, but this really hit a (very guarded secret but raw) nerve – and I type this reply via my Fb (because we don’t new to spell it out, we all know what that is) via my iPhone app I am acutely aware of the irony. You said everything I always think but usually just keep to myself or I feel like I sound whiny and almost prudish. “Gated community” = right-on. I can’t do anything anymore for my arts or activism without going through Fb. It is not only where everyone lives – it is where we are all (voluntarily?) trapped. I can’t even reach ppl via email anymore, though you have to have email in order to have a Fb account! No, every possible life transaction is under Fb’s “benevolence.” I swear if I hear from a friend, “I dont know if you saw my post on Fb…” and then some really important life event — I may explode.

    I too am an activist — we are by nature problem-solvers, identifying the problem, offering (sometimes agitating) for a solution. But I don’t know what the solution is here. What can we do?

    as a plug-a-hole-in-crumbling-dam solution, one thing I’ve done is block every single person from my newsfeed. Everyone, even closest friends because I would still see what they were posting to others’ walls and it just was too much. That is how I run into the issue of ppl assuming ive seen their posts and though i do miss some announcements, it is worth it for the relief pf not knowing every minutiae of everyone’s lives. But i is a frustrating minor fix that doesn’t address the later problem of our cage.

    • Blocking people from your newsfeed works well (all of my updates are protected and only visible to my close friends) but I imagine that won’t work so well for activist purposes if you need things to be visible to the public (to spread awareness, for instance).

      I read somewhere about some alternatives to FB for activism and organising. I’m not really an activist so I don’t have any links but you could try that.

  6. I have to wonder if the people behind the Facebook reports are not just ridiculously incompetent. I remember an incident several months ago where you couldn’t post links to Snopes.org, the hoax-debunking site, because it had been reported too many times, even though if they had bothered to look at the site at least once, they wouldn’t have seen anything controversial about it (and I can’t imagine why it was being reported – people didn’t like feeling foolish after finding out they disseminated a hoax?) Do they just remove everything that enough people report as offensive without bothering to investigate? Other than pages, of course, since they clearly don’t seem to care much about what rape victims think about pages full of rape jokes.

    • Yeah this whole setup is just mind-bogglingly bizarre to me. The main point of confusion being: the email that’s quoted a) is addressed directly to Carmen, rather than reporting inappropriate content TO Facebook?? and b) doesn’t actually seem to say anything about any posted content, inappropriate or otherwise! Which makes me think it must just be an automated thing where if some poor misguided soul hits the report button enough times you automatically get this message.

      And if that’s the case, it seems as though there’s a real case to be made that this lady is, in fact, harassing you (or just has no idea how the internet/Facebook works). I have to say, I’m dying to know what’s beyond that “Continue” button, what on earth happened here.

  7. What the actual fuck? I wonder what would happen if you click continue but then re-upload the photos?
    Orwell was right…

  8. This sucks, but I’m not surprised. A couple of years ago they banned a trans man for posting pictures of his chest post-op. I found a link here: http://www.xtra.ca/public/National/Trans_guy_banned_from_Facebook_after_uploading_postop_chest_pic-8085.aspx . I think there were more similar cases at the time but I can’t remember people’s names. I actually got into an argument with a guy I know over this because, according to him, (trigger warning for misgendering) “it’s unfair that women’s chests are considered obscene in our society but that’s the way it is”. Ugh.

    I also know of the controversy when Facebook censored Courbet’s painting L’Origine du Monde (Google it, but it’s NSFW). Facebook is just a little too ban-happy but funnily enough they rarely seem to do anything about things hate speech.

    Sorry about the rant :/ Anyway, I hate FB and I wish I could stop using it, but it’s the simplest way to keep in touch with distant friends and people I meet while travelling.

  9. For a different perspective…

    If this notice, containing Kim’s message, is all you got… I don’t see that you are being asked to apologize, or kicked out. You had a photo removed, and Facebook is notifying you.

    Kim – is this someone you know or a stranger? How did she find your picture? – may have sent this message and reported the photo to be taken down with good intentions. Yes, it may be narrow-minded of her, but she isn’t being vile to you in her tone/words. She does agree with the cause behind Slut Walk, but having viewed Slut Walk from the perspective of someone who didn’t already know about Slut Walk, she thinks that this photo was taken for the wrong reasons (to make fun of you, as she says) and likely tried to get rid of it to save you (or perhaps victims of sexual assault) the embarrassment – even though you were honored to be a part of it, people (she says) not involved with the event didn’t necessarily understand the point that Slut Walk was trying to protest and thought it was a joke or thought it didn’t convey the message well. In my opinion though, I definitely think it would be more appropriate for her to just directly send you a message telling you this, rather than going to Facebook and reporting it since it really doesn’t seem to fit the criteria it listed for removing a photo.

    Yes, Facebook has aspects that are kind of annoying. The bottom line is, Facebook is free, no one has to pay in order to use it, it is a service for us to use. We don’t get brownie points for sticking with it. If we don’t like it, we don’t have to use it. (Though it does seem impossible to leave given how inextricably linked it is to social interactions now – that’s the trouble.) But if they didn’t give individuals the option to report behavior they found offensive – at their own discretion, which is where personal opinions come in – then I wouldn’t be able to report things I found homophobic or sexist. And if they didn’t make sure one knew their content had been removed, it would be on the one hand less effective at making sure people didn’t continue to post things that actually are offensive, and on the other hand weirdly sneaky, like they could just take things from you without telling. Thus your quarrel seems really more with Kim than with Facebook, though Facebook was the vehicle (and I’m not too well acquainted with how many things actually get taken down after people report them/what that process is).

    I’d hate to seem like I’m trying to invalidate your anger or something, if that’s how this comes off. It’s just a different way of looking at it… and hopefully will make you feel a little less of the despair at the world that comes from not understanding why other people do things – I know I’ve felt that way a lot. And that photo isn’t even the least bit graphic (so I do think it was ridiculous of her to report it)!

    • Well said! She (apparently) saw you in public, and then sought you out on Facebook to complain about it. How is this Facebook’s business?

      • I also think that Kim’s message is not the problem. She doesn’t agree with the slutwalks and actually tries to make a point (that I don’t agree with, but hey).

        But she also reported the photos and facebook now requires Carmen to remove them (or they’re already removed?). If she wants to continue using facebook she’ll have to accept that ‘slutwalks’ cannot be a part of it, because somebody disagrees with it.

        That’s obviously a problem and it’s facebooks business, because they decided to act on this womans reporting of the photos. Apparently they saw something inappropriate in them as well, and by that, in Carmens activism. I’d be angry about that as well.

  10. Wow, that is so fucked up. I deactivated my FB a month or so ago and planned on permanently deleting it eventually. I am going to do it right now, because I don’t want there to even be the option of going back to it. I hate what FB has done to society. If you want to stay in contact it’s like you have to have a FB, and I refuse to play by their rules. If someone matters then I will find another way to talk to them, nothing is wrong with email or snail mail.

    • “I hate what FB has done to society. If you want to stay in contact it’s like you have to have a FB….”

      It’s not FB, it’s the people, period. I never understood the “trend” that is FB, Myspace, etc. I don’t do any of that shit. Time and time again, I hear so many people making the following excuse of, “It’s the only way I can keep in touch with people….” Really? If that’s your idea of a “meaningful relationship” then hey go for it, but if it’s not, then maybe you (general you) need to ‘redefine’ what a “relationship” truly means to you? Whatever happen to picking up the phone, writing a letter, taking the time to actually visit them, even if it’s just once a year?

      Perhaps it is just me, but my standards are high when it comes to connecting with people and if you’re one of those people who only seems to keep in touch with others via FB, or some other computer based medium, then yeah, that relationship won’t last long, as I believe it’s superficial at best. For me, relationships are all about connecting and getting to know each others ‘cores,’ for lack of a better word. My own company is far more enjoyable then random people I don’t know “friending” me, then not even talking to me once they “friend me.” Seriously, what is that shit all about? #ThingsI’llneverunderstandaboutsocialmediaomggetmeoffthissoapbox

      • exactly. that’s why I’m super psyched about the pen pal thing that Autostraddle is doing. It isn’t free (stationary, stamps, stickers, etc.) and takes a little more time and effort, but I think the results will be more satisfying.

      • My brother and I keep in contact pretty much 100% through online media. He’s one of my best friends.

      • But at the same time, FB allowed me to reconnect with a friend I lost through a stupid childhood decision. It’s allowed me to get in touch with family who’s phone numbers change because they’re constantly moving, it’s allowed me to reach out to family who I might have an awkward time talking to on the phone but would happily share an article with. For me, email is like the phone. I feel like I have to have some intelligent conversation with them, that I need to write out something more than just ‘Hey, read this link I think you’d love it’. I agree with you that meaningful relationships should involve more than the internet and a few websites…but that doesn’t mean that the relationships formed online through that platform aren’t any less meaningful than one formed outside of a textbox.

        • Most definitely, to be clear, I wasn’t saying that there is anything wrong with forming online relationships, but when you blame a social medium because of the way a relationship forms, then perhaps you should take a look at yourself, or re-evaluate the people you are involved with.

    • There is no option to permanently delete your FB straight away. You have to deactivate it and wait for one or two months without logging in before it’s automatically deleted.

      • Obviously nothing is permanently deleted from the internet, but there is a “permanent delete” option for facebook. You can deactivate it, meaning you can always come back and everything is there. Or permanent delete and unless you login in the first 2 weeks your information will be gone, and you can’t get it back at all. So you can sort of delete it forever.

  11. It’s incredible and frightening that your content was deemed offensive when there is so much anti-LGBT, anti-Women, anti-equality hate-speech being spread on Facebook. I’ve been on the receiving end of chronic gay-bashing by fundamentalist religious users – and they still haven’t been shut down. Where is the fairness??

    Either EVERYTHING is fair game online, or Facebook users should be restricted to only posting cute pics of their kids…. but youcan’t have it both ways!!

  12. And I forgot to add to my previous comment that I also wish I could “break up” with Facebook, but it seems to have become so essential to keeping in touch with people far-away and even remaining in the local social loop – two things I’m not that great at doing without it. But even aside from their sketchy criteria for determining what is and is not “appropriate” (even before this, the crap with breastfeeding pics was enough), as well as their numerous privacy violations. Sites like Facebook remind me of a book I read once called Amusing Ourselves to Death, which takes as its premise that Brave New World is a more predictive dystopian novel than 1984, in that if we give up all our rights, it will be because the thing that causes us to do so is fun and exciting and we ultimately value that more than our civil rights. Sites like Facebook that make you sacrifice so much privacy in exchange for social networking make me worry, and also make me feel bad about myself for signing up for them and not leaving when I find out what they’re doing with my info (although, tbf, they make it kind of impossible for you to “truly leave,” if all the friends who deactivated their accounts years ago who are still showing up in my Friends List are any indication…)

  13. I’m sure there isn’t a real person assessing every instance of reported offense – people probably abuse the tool all the time. I can see this having happened automatically, and therefore, while this piece is totally valid, you’re taking it way too personally. Facebook isn’t out to spread hate; it just would rather censor everything and be safe and neutral than call a jury on every instance of controversy. (Not saying that this is right though.)

    • it says in the community standards guide that every complaint is viewed by someone to decide if it is valid! I have reported tons of content that was never removed.

  14. I love you Carmen. When I heard that you’d been locked out, I was waiting eagerly for your Autostraddle post so I could be sure to send you a strong internet hug. Your friends and family are still here, and luckily we can all find ways around the system’s wall that tries to wear us down by attempting to make you feel tiny. Fight the power girl, and know that even though you may not have access to everyone’s status updates, we’re all standing and fighting with you. Breathe deeply and let the poetry flow <3

    • <3

      yes right about now is when i would be writing on your wall about “eeeee camp is so soon!”

  15. it really is SO exasperating for me also how much staying on facebook is driven by that “how will i know when cool stuff is happening?” fear.

    what you describe here is just so bizarre, as it seems like they basically removed content (what did they remove? a picture of slutwalk?) based on ONE complaint, which was rambly and not even really entirely negative (from the POV of kim ,i mean).

    is it possible that just the mere mention of toplessness in the message is what prompted it? i mean, that is fucked up! but it’s not totally clear to me that your participation in the protest is what’s being attacked. certainly something silly/sexist/horrible but perhaps not so blatant as that? i don’t know.

  16. ive never liked fb. my page was created by accident and it took me a long time to figure out how to get rid of it. it is temporarily back so i could meet people im carpooling with to a-camp and then im getting rid of it again. wht im trying to say is facebook sucks! im so sorry this happened to u carmen! fb was lucky to have u on it in the first place, doing all the great stuff u did, and now they do this. if they dont let u back on on your own terms, i say “accept” what they want u to accept, get all your pictures and stuff off your page, then get rid of your fb page. when u deactivate an account, fb acts like a desperate ex asking “why r u leaving? wht can i do to change?” it will be very satisfying to deactivate it yourself.
    whtever happens, i hope it works out for you!

  17. I just “permanently deleted” my account while doing this and I have never felt so good. Until I read “Your account will not permanently delete until after 14 days and anytime between now and then you can sign back on and cancel this request” I’m like well WTF??!?!?!?!?! that temptation to sign back on and cancel the request is there, have to fight.
    Anyways. Carmen I hope to hear what happens if you do log back on and repost those pictures.

  18. There is no word for this that comes to mind, nothing that can express my disappointment in Facebook. How is it that your peaceful activism movement constitutes a ban from a service whose sole purpose is to connect with the world?

    “Balderdash” feels right; “complete BS” seems even better. You and the people you are involved with have my support, as one of the billion internet drones <3

  19. Carmen Rios, if you never return to facebook, I’ll have to come to A CAMP and poke you in person. Send me some pictures of eli because I miss his face.

    PS: brilliant post.

  20. “Facebook is a website we are sort of programmed to use, kind of trapped inside of. When my friends deleted their Facebook profiles throughout college or high school, the question was never “why” because we all know why: because it is run by sexists, because it capitalizes on human socialization for greed, because it makes us into socially awkward and socially anxious little humans and because at the end of the day, your ex is still posting lame poems on her wall and it will inevitably show up in your feed. The question was always how: “how will you know when people are partying?!” and “how will you remember your entire life via images posted on this website if you don’t have one?” How will you stay in touch with me from Paris? How will you wish me happy birthday from New Jersey? Without Facebook, do you exist? The verdict was always out.”

    TRUTH.

  21. this is so much emotional investment in facebook. so much. why did you ever think you belonged in facebook anyway? it’s a corporation.

    the person who responded is ignorant. log back into facebook, respond to that person on facebook, post this article on facebook. then if *facebook* turns on you, instead of some robot who’s processing zillions of *complaints* a day, then you’ll know.

    the only response to speech (hers is speech whether you like it or not) is more speech.

    CONTINUE!

  22. I deleted my Facebook profile two years ago and have never looked back. As others have said here, a lot of the interactions and ‘friendships’ on Facebook are superficial, and often serve to make you feel bad about yourself. Now I’m trying to revive the ancient art of the email, which, goddamn, is so incredibly far from ancient that it’s pretty worrying how one corporation has managed to take over how people communicate. If someone really thinks they can’t stay in touch with me because I’m not on Facebook, they’re not terribly invested in our friendship.

    And yeah, Facebook doesn’t care about activists. So many activists working on a broad range of issues have had their Facebook accounts shut down and lost important contacts and material. Back that work up, people!

  23. Typically when faced with a situation like this, my response would be something like, 「しょうがない」。 However, this post is aimed at Facebook, which I have never really liked in the first place, so I have stronger feelings toward it. I honestly don’t even need anything like this to happen to me for me to want to quit it. I’m barely on anyway.

  24. There was an article a little while ago about how Facebook censors/monitors work – they’re outsourced, paid very little, and have a strict set of guidelines.I once got reported because my name was apparently wrong :P

    As for your SW experience: Last year at SF Bay SlutWalk I encounted a white woman trying to make a point in a burqa. Being of Muslim background I was rather uncomfortable and tried to ask her about it. The discussion turned sour and she called me some rude names. I wrote up about it on Tumblr, she found it and harassed me & the SW crew (who were kind to me). She also reported the post to Tumblr who took it down for harrassment. GAH!

  25. Hey, I hope this gets to you.

    I think this is all a misunderstanding.

    A week or so ago SlutWalk DC posted the EXACT content you say is your message from Kim (the message that comes up when you try to log into facebook which is the screen-print on your tumblr). This is not a message from Kim to you – it was e-mailed to SW DC organisers who then copy/pasted it to their page (having meant to take out Kim’s e-mail address, not realising they left it in). Many people complained to SW DC about this – saying that Kim’s e-mail address being left on was not ethically or legally right. It could be seen as insighting harassment. A couple of days later DC took down the message; explaining it was a mistake that Kim’s e-mail address was included. Was there any possibly you shared this status on your facebook?

    Kim won’t even necessarily been the one to have reported it – either lots of people reported the original DC content and thus FB is removing all shares; or someone has reported all public shares. I think it’s important though to realise that the message you’re reading as Kim’s message to you – is the reported content. That isn’t a message to you, and it isn’t necessarily Kim who reported it. Someone reported that which is why facebook is asking you to review it before logging back in.

    I hope this makes sense, and I hope this message is seen as I do feel this is a big misunderstanding. It also could potentially cause a lot of damage; not only has Kim’s e-mail been shared by SW DC (who have now removed it) but if her or her daughter ever see this is could be quite emotionally damaging, especially with so few understanding the context.

    Best wishes and hope this helps.

    • (Aimee is a fellow SW organiser, she is good people. Also I have previously received a similar content notice on FB and the notice doesn’t tell you the text of the *complaint*, it’s the text of the *Reported content*.)

    • hey everyone reading the comments, and aimee–

      aimee and i have discussed on twitter and it is obvious now that someone reported the entire slutwalk dc group (or page, or something) and, since i am an admin / member, my content was removed AKA we are no longer, probably, allowed to use facebook as an organizing tool.

      i want to log back in to investigate but think my point about facebook’s decision stands even taller now — they’re allowing an entire group to be disbanded because one person disagrees (whereas the rape groups remained despite thousands of complaints and months of mass media coverage).

  26. Life is 100% better without Facebook. Trust me.

    What’s so sad about it is this feeling that we’re all going to miss out on life, activism, STUFF if we’re not on there. The reverse is true!

    I get that it helps with finding out about what’s on but there are 1000 channels for this and an activist group which only advertises it’s activities via a bigoted site like Facebook seriously needs to check in with its own ethos.

    Get outta there Carmen – your follow-on thoughts about the misunderstanding/blocking of entire GROUP are bang on. If you’re worried about your pics, get a friend to download and email the best ones to you. Or just say fuck it and move on – you will cope. Facebook is not life.

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