If You Could Be Any Type of Cereal In The World, What Would You Be?

I use an online software situation called “formspring” which enables strangers to ask me questions, tell me how much they love me and tell me how much they hate me.

Recently, a person asked me a question on formspring that I’m having trouble answering! I want to say “Lucky Charms” but I feel like that’s cheating. Maybe you could help me.

“If you could be any type of cereal in the world, what would you be? Please explain.”

 

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Riese is the 32-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1744 articles for us.

96 Comments

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    Cinnamon Toast Crunch because, goddamn is that stuff delicious. I could it eat by the bucket.
    Or at least for dinner every night like I have the past two weeks.

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    KABOOM: What happens when Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms procreate.

    the magical appearance of the actual image in this comment is brought to you by vegan unicorns and the autostraddle community managerettes

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    Cap’n Crunch because… Well because… (i can’t believe i’m actually trying to explain this in a logical way!!) Because it’s freaking awesome and i love it! :-D

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    Gluten-free cereal obvs. You don’t really like me at first because I don’t taste as good as regular cereal but as time progresses you begin to enjoy my company and appreciate what I bring to the table/your stomach, so you start to love me and appreciate me for what I am.

    P.S. this is a 100% accurate representation of gluten-free cereal (and me sort of)

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    Cheerios. I can turn the maturity switch on for responsible adults, but being around kids brings out my secretly goofy side. However, my silliness never crosses over into the realm of obnoxiousness; I know how to balance my goofiness and maturity very well. I also like experimenting with my look–I can keep it classic and low-key (like original Cheerios), go bright and colourful (like fruity Cheerios), or venture off into the land of interesting, but not for everyone (like peanut butter Cheerios, or dulce de leche Cheerios).

    I spent about 25 minutes thinking of that. I’m not ashamed.

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    Special K Fruit & Yogurt and without a doubt.

    The flakes are just enough crunch for your breakfast or all other meals of the day (like me). The little fruit clusters are a nice zing to compliment the crunch and the yogurt balls are a delicious surprise because they like to hide in the milk! Adding some fresh fruit and a dash of cinnamon on those special mornings makes it pretty darn good too.

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    Haggen, this grocery in my city, sells off-brand Lucky Charms called Mallow Oats. I’d want to be those, because they’re fucking delicious but weird looking and have a name that makes people laugh, in a good way.

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    Probably honey nut cheerios. I’m not super interesting or exciting, but your parents like me, I’m pretty sweet and a little nutty, and I’m good for yer heart health, so that you can leave me a happier, stronger, whole-r girl, and I’ll just be here, being cereal, without you.

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