Oh hey all you pretty girls out there. We're one week into the new year and your comments are like shining beacons of hope. This week, we talked about our 20 favorite weirdos of 2009, cringed at product placement at the People's Choice Awards, and took our pants off for Docker's. Feminist icon Mary Daly as well as Tila Tequila's fianceé Casey Johnson died. Jess interviewed the hilarious Kate Clinton, Casey talked to Hunter Valentine, and Riese and Robin got to hang out with Candy Slice Comedy. We all cried and drank [and talked some more about about bcw's gravatar] when New Jersey voted no on gay marriage, but at least we were in good company--Senator Ruiz is one special lady. But enough about us, let's talk about you.
The BETTY Award to rachel on Rosie O’Donnell Met New Girlfriend Tracy Kachtick-Anders Through Her Blog: "Gay men have sex like lesbians? And here all along I thought that Queer as Folk was the way that they lived.".
The Genesis Award> to lizzie on Ke$ha & The Paradiso Girls Will Play Dinah Shore: "Who is this Kerli girl? Why is she talking about Gaga ripping her off? It’s kind of like getting pissed at God for ripping off your style upon hearing that he created you in his own image. Or something."
The Sunday Morning Initiative Award to wolf_confetti on Audiostraddle’s Music of 2009: A Year in Review: "hahah, I was genuinely excited about the possibility of a fanpage for kate cooper’s hair…….anyways, i just created http://katecoopershair.tumblr.com (what?! it’s sunday!)"
The Hellooo Nurse Award to Torrie on Can The Baby-Sitter’s Club Update Include “Why Mallory is Gay”?: "No kidding, I learned a lot from the BSC kids. I actually diagnosed my friend with type 1 diabetes thanks to Stacey. Well, I made her go to the doctor, who diagnosed her."
The 'Who Hasn't Dated This Girl?' Award to Li and Dina on Can The Baby-Sitter’s Club Update Include “Why Mallory is Gay”?:
The Joy of Cooking/Sex Awardto the velvet underground on Jillian Michaels: First Lady to Ever Come Out (Bisexual) in “Ladies Home Journal”: "ugh i feel like that’s such a weird place to pseudo come-out. like 'hey mom here’s a recipe for meatloaf surprise… and here’s one for healthy lovin.'"
The Southern Discomfort Award to DemiArianna on Top 20 Autostraddle Icons of 2009: "I’d just like to note, every time I see Rose Rollins I literally start to hyperventilate. I’m so blatantly in love it scares me. I know it’s late, Santa, but please if I could have her for just an hour, even 10 minutes, I won’t ask for anything ever again and you could give me huge lumps of coals every Christmas from now on, I promise. I’ll kneel with bare legs on a pile of uncooked grits if you like."
The HAWT Award to Julia from MI on "100 Hot Sexy Curvy Models & Celebrities" "Between this gallery (and comments) and making out with a smoking hot blond at the club last Friday night, my self esteem is ridiculously high right now. All I need is an article talking about how queer redheads are the best thing ever, and I’d be unstoppable."
The bcw Award for bcw to bcw on New Jersey Senate Liveblog: "i was surprised her tears didn’t start sizzling on her face"
The bcw Award for bcw Part Two:
The Parapraxis Award to anna on Women Need More Sleep & Lesbian Sex Diary ‘Needs’ More Sex: "I keep reading this as 'Women Need More Lesbian Sex'."
with follow-up by aaannie: "It’s like this one time over the summer, I was at home and sad and acting straight, my friends back in the city texted me: ” HAPPY BIRTHDAY. WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO HANG OUT?” And I read it a couple times before I realized it did not say “WHEN ARE YOU COMING OUT?”
The No-Time-for-Scissoring Award to Vikki on Mary Daly RIP:
Vikki: "I have mixed feelings about Mary Daly. I have a great deal of respect for her writing and the way that she lived her life. But, I also blame her and Andrea Dworkin for the endless processing about sex and the patriarchy that I had to go through with my first girlfriend before we finally bought a dildo."
The Typography Award to ryan: "the real redeeming quality of the ad is the type-face used. I love old-tymey stuff! really otherwise I wouldn’t want to buy dockers, it’s a bitch getting latte out of them."
The Manhood Award to BrushWithDeathToothPaste: "Yes the role of man has been greatly diminished. We no longer control corporations, government, money, media and war. I long for the days when you could have a martini lunch at work then go home and beat your wife for not having you’re high fat dinner ready. What really is really emasculating men today is our constant whining."
On The People's Choice Awards:
The Eli Award for Adorable Children to Liz: "i turned on the westboro Lady Gaga thing. My three kids all started dancing, and my 4 yr old started singing the ACTUAL words to Poker Face. 25 seconds in, record scratch:
'Mommy, why is Poker Face different?'
'Someone didnt like the song, so they wrote new silly words for it. They don’t think God would like it.'
'Those people are idiots. Lady Gaga is awesome. God loves Lady Gaga. God loves everyone. I don’t want to listen to this. Can you turn on Dirty Rich?'
I love my kid. Suck it Phelps family assholes."
The Award for Best Bluegrass Album to Beth: "Street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression."
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