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Hannah Hart and the Dance Showdown

on April 19, 2012

Hello! Dance Showdown is a dance competition that pits YouTube stars against one another because the next logical step after "spends a lot of time on the internet" is "becomes competitive dancer." This contest is extremely relevant to your interests because your imaginary girlfriend Hannah Hart is taking part and needs your votes and emotional support! Here is her bio video in case you don't have her entire personal history memorized, and here is her rehearsal video. Keep in mind while you're watching them that a vote for Harto is a vote for Harto in Spandex.

The following video of Hannah's dance is presented to you without comment, except to say that I find her extremely endearing.

You can vote for Hannah once a day until April 25. The top four vote-getters will advance to the next round. Think of this as a way to publicly declare your love and admiration, which is not an opportunity I am willing to pass up.

14 responses to “Hannah Hart and the Dance Showdown”

b (member)
April 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Hello, my name is Brenda and I am a Hartosexual.

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kd15 (member)
April 19, 2012 at 4:50 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Got a serious Olivia Newton John ‘Physical’ vibe from that video

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Christie L (member)
April 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm Permalink Reply Report user

Several things: Harto is adorbs as ush, she is a totally rockin’ dancer, and I plan to vote for her. However, WTF on the choreography?! Did the choreographer even watch ONE of Harto’s MDK episodes or anything else she has ever made? The dance was totally not on. I mean, stilettos and a song about dressing up for a guy?? (btw – I totally get that queer ladies wear heels and all, just not Hannah the last time I checked). That was a missed opportunity for some rad Hannah themed awesomeness.

Guys, here are some of the lyrics from the song. I have a LOT of feelings about this. (Oh, and also, I am queer/bisexual and like/am attracted to cis/trans/het/genderqueer bois/boys/men, so it is also not coming from an anti-man-loving place, my feelings)

He’s got a thing for these Stilettos
He’s climbin’ up the walls
I got him hooked on my Stilettos
He likes to watch me walk
Five or six inches, fresh off the runway
They could make a grown man beg
I know just what he wants
Me any my Stilettos!

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1. spindrift (member)
  April 19, 2012 at 7:06 pm Permalink Reply Report user
  
  I feel you. As much as I respect Lauren Froderman, she definitely could have themed this better. Nevertheless, harto dancing (a little clumsily but therein lies the charm) in spandex will never fail to thrill all her hartosexist fans
  
  The Worm was the best part of this. That, and the possible innuendo of two girls shunning stilettos – they did kick them away, right? – and retreating into a closet(?).
  
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2. Tierney
  April 20, 2012 at 11:32 am Permalink Reply
  
  Agreed…the choreography and song choice were totally weak. If you watch some of the other performances, it looks like the choreographers cleverly incorporated props/themes/etc into the dance relating to the youtuber’s online persona. Hannah’s dance had NOTHING to do with her channel.
  
  Additionally, the choreography just wasn’t that good…kind of all over the place. I appreciate that these professional dancers are working with people who have very little training, but I think it could have been a lot better. Pretty much the only saving graces were the spandex, Hannah’s adorableness and the worm (which wouldn’t have even been put in the performance if Hannah hadn’t brought it up in the rehearsal).
  
  I hope enough hartosexuals vote for her so she can move on to the next round, and that she gets placed with a different choreographer.
  
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Evidux (member)
April 19, 2012 at 5:03 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I’m sorry, I’ve got this uh, heart palpitating going on, I’ll just, I’ll be back in a bit, I can’t right now

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1. JB (member)
  April 20, 2012 at 7:41 am Permalink Reply Report user
  
  Try not to have a harto-tack.
  
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Leah (member)
April 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm Permalink Reply Report user

+500 bonus points for the worm

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Jessica S. (member)
April 19, 2012 at 7:56 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I helped her pick out that outfit. You’re welcome.

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Abbey
April 20, 2012 at 6:42 am Permalink Reply

oh sweet jeebus.

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allie (member)
April 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm Permalink Reply Report user

I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO.

also have feelings re: the worm. ever since i was a wee lass i was under the impression that boobs get in the way (aka hurt). dont tell me i can be more embarassing and ridiculous when given a large open floor area.

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Brianna (member)
April 21, 2012 at 7:07 am Permalink Reply Report user

I have so many feelings about Hannah Hart. Don’t worry. My girlfriend already knows and has the exact same feelings.

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Sarah
April 21, 2012 at 11:34 am Permalink Reply

Agree with the points about the choice of song etc.
This could have been even more amazing, but good on Hannah for just going for it anyway and making the best of it.

Remember you can vote every day to get her to the next round!

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mysss
February 11, 2013 at 8:22 pm Permalink Reply

This is a brilliant, Hartosexual article.

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