Hangover and Out: Queer Girls’ Advice On The Day After Drinking

It’s the dog days of summer, which means, according to every teen summer movie ever, we’ll be spending these remaining weekends at bonfires on the beach, drinking and looking attractive while gazing meaningfully at the cute girl playing acoustic guitar on the sand, then sleeping late the following day because it’s summer and we’ve got nothing but time time time. At least until we (who are of college age) go back to our dorms, where we’ll split infinity bottles of red wine while talking about Adrienne Rich and art as a tool for social justice and whether the burritos in the dining hall will give us food poisoning. And then what will we do the next day? Text all of our friends from the beds we can’t bring ourselves to leave about our splitting heads in between fits of vomiting, force ourselves to eat disgusting instant oatmeal at 3 pm, throw it back up, and then cry about it.

Is there a way out? Yes, you could just not drink the wine, but I mean besides that. Anyone (ahem) who has tried to Google “hangover cures??” can tell you there are a million. Weirdly, many of them are found in men’s fitness magazines, which calls into question whether they are also good ideas for people who don’t also inject a protein hemp shake into their biceps every morning. Of course, there are also some strategies aimed at women, but that can feel a little patronizing. “I know its no fun having to run off to the ladies every time a George Clooney-ish dude starts chatting you up, but if you want to still like him in the morning, you must be sure to fill up with plenty of water before leaving home.” (Real quote!)

There’s the tried and true hair-of-the-dog, which is… gender-neutral? Albeit sort of counterintuitive and, for those of us (ahem again) who can’t even think about alcohol without starting to dry heave when they’re hungover, not an option. There’s always yoga (which we heavily endorse as solving all of your problems) and also some really crunchy-granola Healthy Happy tips for people who manage to remain good-hearted and kind to themselves, their bodies and trees after aggressively self-destructive decisions the night before. (Hint: the answer is apparently fish oil. Just… lots of fish oil. Forever.)

Possibly more pragmatic is the more elusive advice for what the f*ck to do at work the next day because hey, turns out it’s Tuesday! There are meta-tips letting you know which of the other hangover tips work best! The internet, if nothing else, is rich with commentary on your poor decisions and what to do about them.

But in the end, none of it will ever be as useful as tried-and-true road-tested methods, passed along by people who care about you. Which is us. We’re nothing if not experienced with self-destructive habits and picking up the pieces afterwards, and we would be loath to keep anything from you. Go forth armed with the wisdom of our entire team, and wake up happy.

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Laneia, Executive Editor:

If you find yourself in the position of predicting the living hell that will be your tomorrow, there are a few ways to help your future self thank your past self for doing all you could to help. And they only take a few minutes, so you’ll be stumbling into bed in no time.

+ Water — Obviously. Drink an entire large glass of water. Drink the whole damn thing. Take another glass with you to your place of sleeping. If you wake in the night (you probably won’t, I’m guessing) drink that water. Drink as much as you can without completely waking up and being unable to fall back asleep.

+ Pseudophedrine — This is not something I’m proud of advocating, but if you’re not already on a lot of other weird medication and you don’t have a bad heart or something, taking a sinus / allergy medication that contains pseudophedrine practically eliminates the possibility of a hangover. What happens — in unscientific terms — is that something in there will keep your brain from feeling like it’s bulging through your skull. And the speed-like characteristics (or is it actual speed? I don’t even know) will help push you straight through your usual morning routine, giving you plenty of time to rehydrate and get some calories into your body before the drugs wear off and you can feel your head again. Try to get the 12-hour, and take it before you go to sleep with abovementioned water. This has never not worked. (Disclaimer — seriously though, if there is any possible reason you shouldn’t take this, don’t take it! For real. Be safe, make good choices, etc.) 

Is it the next day and you didn’t take any of my advice and now you feel like absolute shit?

+ Get directly into the shower. The hot water will make your head feel a million times better. Everyone feels better after a shower. If you don’t have time for a shower, I feel like you’re fucked.

+ Peppermint tea — To soothe your stomach. I’d recommend staying away from coffee until you’ve eaten something, but you can live life on the edge if you want.

+ Spaghetti — I don’t know, I always want tomato products when I’m hungover.

+ Vitamin C — This is my answer to everything, I think. Eat an orange.

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Rachel, Senior Editor:

I was excited because I thought I had a lot of really groundbreaking and original suggestions regarding hangovers, but later realized that I just have a lot of strategies for integrating heavy drinking into an otherwise functional life. For instance, not allowing my friends to tell me about anything I did while blacked out so as to avoid paralyzing shame, and making my hair look like I’ve showered when I haven’t showered. (Secret: if you have curly hair, Aussie’s “Catch The Wave” mousse stuff is perfect. Comb your hair with wet fingers til it’s damp, put this in, scrunch, and then stumble to work.)

It turns out that as far as being hungover goes, my only real insights are to drink at LEAST one glass of water before bed but also try to force yourself to alternate alcoholic drinks with water-drinks the night before, and also tea. I mean duh. Yogi Tea makes an excellent detox tea that tastes terrible, thus convincing you that you are definitely doing something that is really good for you, as does Republic of Tea. Will that actually help? I don’t know. Does it make me feel less like an embarrassing drunk? Yes. Seriously though you should make sure your hair looks cute, because I think that’s like 90% of what your boss looks at to decide whether you’re still drunk or not.

Carly, Contributor:

The only way to get through a hangover is fried food. Like, your lunch should probably consist of soda, fries and a burger or something. That’s all I can say. And lying down. Just lie down, even if it’s under your desk at work.

Sarah Croce, Miss April:

I’ve had good results with this hangover smoothie:

Open a fresh coconut. Scoop out half of the “meat” inside and put it in a blender. Add ice, the fresh coconut juice, almond milk, a banana and agave to said blender. Blend. Drink. Thank me later.

Have to go to work? That’s a real tough one. If you can get a mid-day nap in somehow I suggest doing that. Also hangovers kind of look like bad allergies so sometimes you can pass it off as that. I think that the best possibility is to call in sick or call and say you’ll be late and sleep in a little.

Sarah F*cking Palmface, Writer:

Always, always carry a spare contact case (and maybe your glasses) in your bag when you go out. Either you can use it when you stay over at a house that doesn’t belong to you or you can switch to glasses during the cab ride home when your eyes are so dry you can’t see straight. If you have perfect vision, then eff you.

The next morning, you need ice cold blue Powerade Zero, Tylenol, and a Nutrigrain bar. I recommend buying these things from a gas station the night before and popping them in the fridge before bed. Hangover ended. And if that didn’t work, get yourself to a diner (see: Carmen’s contribution).

Carry an eyeliner pencil. The answer to any problem is always more eyeliner, whether that problem is “I’m not confident enough to hit on this girl” or “I’m not confident enough to walk to the subway at 9 a.m. the morning after.”

LIKE ADAM LAMBERT

MJ, Contributor:

Shower immediately. Drunk shower as soon as you stagger home, if possible. Waking up fresh is waking up with a chance at truly defeating the pain to come. Then, upon waking and feeling your gut withered by alcohol, eat. Toasted bagels and carbs and warmth and crispiness are good choices. Then it’s just WATER, so much of it. Put Emergen-C in the water and drink it because there are not only VITAMINS but ELECTROLYTES in Emergen-C which is great for hangovers. Vitamin B-12 is good because it gives you energy. Keep drinking the electrolyte water. Complain about the hangover incessantly to everyone until dinnertime. Or, at least that’s what I do. Get some sleep the following night. Seriously, if you drank enough to be hungover then don’t drink again the next night because you’ll get strep throat or the flu or something awful.

Katrina, Writer:

I thought this was going to be an easy conversation to contribute to, since I frequently a) am hungover, b) wake up in strange places that never have access to public transportation, and c) find empty-ish beer cans in my bathroom at all times of the day. Like, one night I blacked out at my own house and came back into consciousness at the register of 7/11 buying $10 worth of taquitos (which, by the way, is 20 taquitos). I then questioned the validity of my own advice, as the fact that these things repeatedly seem to happen probably means that I am not good at dealing with them.

So what works? How does one cope with the general shit-showiness that those of us in our early 20s seem to be afflicted with? I used to eat a lot of Subway sandwiches, but honestly by this point, I’ve used Subway to fight off so many gnarly hangovers that it doesn’t even taste like food anymore.

The best thing I’ve found that I can do is be prepared. It’s always best to have your sober self take care of your hungover self, because god knows no one else wants to do it. Before you go out, fill a glass of water and place two painkillers by your bed (painkillers with ibuprofin are supposedly safer than those with acetaminophen if you’ve been drinking). These will be helpful when you inevitably wake up at 6 in the morning like a half-drunk half-hungover, VERY CLUMSY zombie. And while you’re at it, leave yourself a couple of dollars for brunch when you wake up the second time. Your overnight guest will surely appreciate your consideration.

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Crystal, Music Editor:

If your bad decision has meant showing up to your place of employment sans sleep and wearing the same uniform or outfit as you had on the day before, tell your boss that you locked yourself out of your apartment/house. They’ll assume you’re a hot/tired mess because you spent all night trying to break in and resigned to sleeping in your car or the garden bed. What’s more an imaginary locksmith appointment will give you a reason to ditch work early for a shower and some sleep.

If honesty is your best policy, don’t say a word. Your co-workers are probably too preoccupied with their own bad decision morning-afters to notice that you’re still in yesterday’s clothes.

Carmen, Contributing Editor:

Just go out and find the nearest lunch special. When I first discovered the lunch special at my local chinese restaurant, I ordered it every Saturday and Sunday morning until I ran out of money on my meal plan. (By the second month of the semester I had spent over 300 dollars at Spring Garden.) I loved the lunch special. I would order it alone, because you can order one alone, and I loved the can of Diet Coke. I would save fortunes because I believe in fortunes and love fortune cookies, and that made me happy. And sometimes, I ordered crab rangoon, but I’m a vegetarian, so I call it “cheese wonton.”

Chances are, the lunch special is available to you between the hours of 11 and 3, or “fuck I need water and what happened last night? o’clock.” I would work on finishing one all day, as if paying 10 dollars for breakfast / lunch / and dinner somehow made it more acceptable that I was continuously renewing the Darjeeling Limited from AU’s library so I could watch it with a styrofoam container of MSG every weekend. I never felt bad. After all, my morning after was always under 12 dollars – and “lunch special” is actually Chinese for “you should acknowledge your hangover and buy this to cure it.”

Gabby (aka WINNER):

(Ed. note – THIS IS AMAZING) 

VIA HOLLYWOODOVERDOSE.TUMBLR.COM

The Hangover – You are not throwing up. You feel nauseous, still kinda drunk and out of it.

The Cure – 1 cup of ice and 1 bottle of coca cola. (if there is ONE thing in this world that high fructose corn syrup is good for it’s curing a hangover.) Pour soda into ice and drink. Then maybe drink another. The sugar will jack you up and get things in your body moving. The bubbles will give you wings.

The Hangover – You’ve been throwing up all morning. You can’t even feel anything else because you’re drowning in puke. Your stomach muscles are screaming out in pain and you can’t stop crying like a helpless drunk baby.

The Cure - Puke it all up. DO NOT drink Coca Cola. You must:

1) Smoke some weed to calm your stomach. Nothing too high grade either. Get out your Tuesday night bud and start there.
2) Gatorade (orange or red). It’s easier on your stomach than water and can be kept down better.
3) Saltines. Start with 2, keep going if you can keep them down.

The Hangover- You drank but you also did some other things…some substance-y possibly involving small baggies, a mirror, a tab or something else you really shoulda given more thought before you ingested/snorted/popped etc. so now your head is exploding, your nose won’t stop running, you’re puking: You Want To Die.

The Cure – You must remain calm. Find a happy space. Bring your kitten into bed with you. Put a picture of Eva Mendes by your face, whatever it takes to think POSITIVE.*

General Pro Tips:

1) Organic iced Ginger Ale. Time for the Big Guns to come out.
2) Fruit – opt for watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes – anything juicy and light
3) Take an Aleve. Yeah, your liver’s been through the ringer but you’re trying to survive.
4) A slice of bread. Do not get fancy. Save the jelly and butter for later. You can toast it if you want.
5) Water. Lots of ice water with lemons if you’ve got’em.
6) Take a cool shower. Lowering your body temperature will ease nauseous yucky feelings and help calm you down.
7) Delete the number of the person you called at 2:17am to get that stuff that made you so sick.

* gross tip for sniffling nose – take a little chapstick on your finger and coat the inside of your nose with it. it’ll get you through a day of work without people asking if you have the flu.

Share your morning after tips in the comments!

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150 Comments

  1. Thumb up 0

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    DO NOT TAKE TYLENOL!

    Acetaminophen will damage your liver. Take ibuprofen. In fact, set that bottle of ibuprofen next to your glass of water on your night table. That way you don’t have to even crawl out of bed when you wake up at 6:30 the next morning with a pounding headache.

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        The risks, as I’ve been told by this nurse I know (totes legit right):

        acetaminophen – liver damage
        aspirin – blood thinner
        ibuprofen – ulcers

        So pick your poison.

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          Finally an opportunity to show off my pharmacy student knowledge:

          This is all true. Also aspirin and ibuprofen are more likely to upset your stomach if its empty. This is especially true for aspirin. Also also if you aren’t over 16 you should not be taking aspirin at all.

          The risk of liver damage from tylenol is only if you’re taking it chronically or you exceed 4000 mg (thats eight 500 mg capsules) per day.

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          But alcohol does enhance its liver-killing properties. And while it’s rare, there have apparently been cases of otherwise-healthy people taking normal doses of Tylenol (or at least it’s the first thing my brother’s fiancee’s doctors ruled out when her liver was failing).

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          Paracetamol/acetaiminophen is often in other drugs and people don’t realise how much they’re taking, and because it seems so “safe” people sometimes accidentally overdose. So it’s wise to watch the labels esp if your other meds can contra-indicate. Same for pseudoephrine; it doesn’t work so happily with SSRIs (most antidepressants), to my dismay,

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          Let’s not kid ourselves. If any of us were actually THIS concerned for our health, we wouldn’t be talking about how to combat the negative effects of spending an entire evening drinking poison.

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      ALSO don’t take ibuprofen and then immediately lie down! The pills can get stuck in your esophagus instead of dropping to your stomach and inflame the esophageal lining, which can then produce a cross between the worst heartburn you’ve ever had and a sore throat. FYI.

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        You’re right and wrong.

        Here’s what taking ibuprofen before lying down really does:
        1. Your esophageal sphincter opens up to let the pill in. It takes a while to close. If you lay down directly afterwards, this means gravity will take anything in your stomach up into your esophagus. And anything in your stomach usually involves acid. (This is really true of any food or medicine, but point 2 makes it worse.)
        2. Ibuprofen irritates your stomach anyway and causes acid overproduction.

        These two things cause pain, suffering, and incredibly sore throats in the morning.

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    These were all great. I must say I can usually get by with a couple of glasses of water, followed by sleeping half the day away on someone’s couch, getting a soy latte and having some kind of greasetastic brunch at 2pm (tacos usually).

    If I’ve wrecked myself though, ginger ale is marvelous. Also steamed white rice and peanut butter toast. The rice will absorb all the bad juju in your stomach, the same thing for the toast. The oils in the peanut butter will coat your stomach and give you a protein kick.

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    Lol, this is great. Thankfully, dont hate me, but I dont really get hangovers. But I do sometimes find myself helping my drunk friends. This will come in handy :) ah, i love college

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    I recommend buying at least two bottles of Powerade or Gatorade the day before. Put one in the fridge for the next day and put one in your bed before you go out, so that when morning comes and you know you need to drink something to feel better but you can’t make yourself open your eyes, let alone get out of bed, there’s a drink right there next to you (unless you knock it out of bed in your sleep, I guess).

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    I’m underage, so I don’t drink and I don’t plan on drinking, but this was still sort of fascinating. I think it was a mix of entertainment at how complex all the cures were (obviously from much fine-tuning) and schadenfreude.

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    I get all shaky and shiver like hell. My pharmacist told me to take dextrose instead of sugar in my peppermint tea. Worked :)
    I second that toast (plain white toast, not that whole grain stuff) is good.
    Also pretzels and any glucose-fructose coke/lemonade should work. All about electrolytes ;)

    Turn your room into a cool, dark cave and sleep it off.

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    GUYS. Pedialyte.

    But if you’re Difficiledame, you don’t want to be seen buying it and will ignore this. It’s got less sugar than Gatorade and is easier to keep down. They even come in juice boxes!

    (For everyone without shame, orange is the best flavor.)

    Get home, drunk shower, Pedialyte, Excedrine, tortilla, bed/horizontal surface.

    Wake up, Excedrine, Coke (Japanese kind if you can get your hands on it – magical), some sort of leftover Chinese/Japanese/Thai food. Turn on USA, watch two re-runs of House, then take a nap.

    Also, if you’re worried about the Excedrine damaging internal organs, you probs shouldn’t be drinking so damn much to warrant it, sooooo.

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        PEDIALYTE SECONDED THIRDED FOURTHED ETC. No matter how terrible you feel, force yourself to chug at least half the bottle of pedialyte, then close your eyes and try to envision that stuff working its way into every cell in your body, slowly expanding them with water and electrolytes and you will feel SO MUCH BETTER in about half an hour. My girlfriend and I once were so deathly hungover during a vacation at my parent’s house partying with my high school friends that we had my mother go buy us pedialyte from the store. not one of our classier moments.

        ps. this stuff is intended for infants who are extremely dehydrated because of diarrhea or vomiting, so you know it’s going to work.

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    A liter of water before I go to a bed and I don’t even wake up with a hangover. I literally don’t even know what hangovers feel like. Although I do have to run to the bathroom every five seconds the next day.

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    If you’re lucky enough to live near a Whataburger get a whataburger, large fries and a powerade as soon as you wake up. I’ve tried burgers from different places but none seem to work as good as whataburger. This works for me every time.

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    COCONUT WATER. Whether you’re headachey or pukey. Lots of regular water and a COCONUT WATER.

    When I turned 25 I started getting hangovers unlike anything I’d ever seen. Like a grumpy, pukey bear. Then someone started giving my coconut water and it’s a fucking go-to now, because the flavor isn’t so intense that you’ll get nauseous and it’s incredibly hydrating.

    If you’re feeling fancy, get the one with the little bits of coconut in it, in the glass bottle. Mostly I just mainline the quart sized one- and I stay away from flavors because that is just TOO much.

    Picklebacks with coworkers on wednesday? coconut water and back to work.

    Drank an entire bottle of wine by yourself at a wedding? coconut water and back to climbing those hawaiian mountains.

    I guess gatorade does the same thing, but I wouldn’t know, because I don’t drink red and neon blue things.

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      Thank you! I cannot believe no one had mentioned coconut water yet! It is the best cure . . . I mean aside from IVY bags but then again those are as readily accessible to the average individual as coconut water. Especially at places like my college campus where there are constantly scantily clad biddies giving out free Vitacoco at every event.

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      10000x coconut water.

      Also, best hangover smoothie ever (if you’ve got the fortitude to operate a blender, of course) is 1 cup coconut water, 1 cup pre-frozen banana, and 1/2-1 tsp fresh ginger. Tastes like heaven, mad potassium, will hydrate you instantly, and the ginger helps your stomach.

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    Going for a walk outside to get coffee alwwwwaaaaays is the best. Unless it’s az summer then it’s fucking torture. But if it’s nice where you live, cover your smeared mascara with your wayfarers and get outside, even if it is a half ass wobbly walk to your mailbox. Seriously.

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    all of the beverages!
    if I can make it to brunch I order a bloody mary, a soda, apple juice, water, and coffee.
    if I can make it to the bodega I get a sports drink and a v8.
    if I can’t make it out of bed I fill up my camelbak with water and spoon with it, smoke some pot marijuana, order a delivery sandwich, then roll around and moan til I fall back asleep.

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    Gabby’s advice is pretty awesome. Inclusive and specific. But I never get to use the advice for Hangovers #2 and #3.

    I think I inadvertently used the first method after a night/morning of mixed drinks, contact high and dubstep at a Geneva club. When Coca-Cola is almost the only thing left in the resident hall vending machine at 5am after a night like that – learn to be thankful.

    But in general I’d say orange Vitamin Water/Gatorade/Powerade, headache meds, bland food and reading guilty pleasure books (ie: Twilight, Hunger Games) while wasting away the rest of the (hopefully) weekend is a good hangover day.

    The coconut smoothie sounds tasty. But that’d take a lot of forethought.

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    Personally, hangovers are when my self loathing is at an all time high, so whilst my immediate feeling is that leaving the house is literally impossible, actually the best thing to do is leave the house, walk, see friends, and pretend to be a normal productive person (like every other day then…). If you do this you’ll have less brain space to dwell on all the stupid things you did the night before and you wont hate yourself for wasting a day in staying bed. If you indulge a hangover it will only make it worse. And hangover smugness is so fun, you need to get out and share it with the world!

    Also if you might end up leaving the house/club/bar in daylight take sunglasses. Seriously this is important.

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    freshman year of college my alcoholic friends and i would swear by one glass of water, one glass of cranberry juice, and one glass of blue powerade with a giant veggie and cheese omlette for breakfast.
    now we swear by water, weed, and diner food. especially mozzarella sticks.
    i’ve heard that exercise works wonders for a hangover, but seriously, who is going to go for a run the morning after drinking?

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    if you have weed, you don’t have a hangover. at least it’s true for myself & those i know.

    for those who get hangovers from ‘other substances’, take it from a (semi)former raver: B-12 IS A MIRACLE VITAMIN.

    i truly, truly love that y’all wrote an article about this. and whichever writer let me know about Hungover Owls, know that it’s changed my mornings for the better :]

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    LOL. I feel so silly, guys. My 21st was this past Saturday. I got drunk, and upon waking the morning after, I assumed I wasn’t hungover because I wasn’t puking. I thought ALL hangovers involved vomit. I did, however, feel tipsy. Not bad, a little congested, but otherwise fine. So, yeah, woke after sleeping 5 hours, got my coffee, and went about my day. I will take these tips seriously as my adventures in discovering The Drink continue.

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    - Drink 1 litre of water before going to bed, even if you have to force yourself
    – Eat a f*cking Döner!
    – Don’t drink wine or you’ll get headache

    Super Pro Tip ™:
    Eat/Drink a bouillon with egg! Seriously, I’ve had the worst hangovers (like, you can’t even change your sleeping position in bed, because your headache is so worse), but this cures it all! Try it the next time, you’ll thank me for it.

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    okay i have a bad habit of keeping it all in and waking up wrecked as hell. i take a multivitamin when i wake up or if you don’t have that just get your b supplemental (you know the one that has all the b’s in it) and a few vitamin c’s, like 2-4. instead of water i drink tea, (looseleaf that shit too, no teabagging, trust me it makes a huge difference) it goes down way easier and hydrates you faster. and don’t drink more than 3 cups because you’ll crash harder than when you just had a hangover.

    also for food eat something light frozen blueberries, bread (no toppings), carrots, anything that isn’t going to feel like 2 tons.
    most importantly, keep hydrated!!! coconut water, tea, sips of gatoraide, etc.

    im not a big juice person on hangovers because it all just brings back puketastic memories of the people from the night before and my head starts spinning and i cring from the sweetness of the juice and blaaaaaah game over. womp womp

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    Carnitas burritos are the key to ending hangovers(as well as general life happiness). If your local taqueria is not quite in walking distance, keep your kitchen stocked with chips, guac, and salsa to eat as you get your ANTM marathon on.

    Also: Showers and any kind of soda. Only fountain soda or canned soda- bottled soda has way too much carbonated action for your stomach.

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    the worst hangover of my life was the night i turned 21 because i drank god knows what and ALL FOR FREE! which was awesome but in the morning made me want to die. on top of all of these tips i would like to assert that i packed a morning after backpack, which should contain the following:

    + daisy by marc jacobs
    + toothbrush
    + COMFORTABLE clothes
    + blow dryer
    + cigarettes / lighter

    and slept at someone else’s house.

    but.

    i forgot my backpack in the car. so rule #1, make sure someone has a very specific job of making sure you 1. have a survival kit and 2. use it / bring it. the person whose job is #2 should be someone you’re sleeping with, in any meaning of the word.

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    Broccoli gratin Rice-A-Roni and episodes of “Parks and Recreation.” You’ll still feel hungover, but you won’t be hungry and you’ll forget how shitty you feel when you’re laughing at Ron Swanson.

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    a few things that have helped me many a morn..well, afternoon.

    + spicy menudo w/onion, lemon & cilantro.

    + a few spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream. unfortunately the same is not true with mint chocolate chip though.

    + tomato juice with a raw egg mixed in & a few drops of tabasco sauce. (it may seem gross but i’ll be damned if it doesn’t actually work every.single.time.)

    a shower is an absolute must.

    and it never hurts to throw on “we’re here because we’re here” by anathema either.

    but you know what doesn’t help a hangover at all? reading texts from the night before. guaranteed to make the hangover just THAT much more special.

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    It is all about Po Chai. It is a Chinese herbal supplement, a bunch of tiny little round pills that come in a vial and you take them before bed aka while still drunk. I swear, they are miracle workers. My father gave them to me, and if anyone knows how to cure a hangover, it is my father, so trust him. Drink a large glass of water with the Po Chai and then leave another glass of water by your bed for morning-you. Coconut water the next day or any beverage with electrolytes. Golden. http://www.amazon.com/Po-Chai-Pills/dp/B0047IUBKA

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    DO drink ginger ale (not the Canadian dry shit, something with actual ginger in it ’cause it’s a natural anti-nausea antidote) and lots of water.

    DON’T drink two cups of coffee black because it’ll dehydrate you even more and make your stomach kinda queasy.

    DO eat an omelette, huevos rancheros, or something else with eggs because they contain vitamin b12 and protein. Also take a vitamin pill.

    DON’T eat solely fruit at the breakfast after your cousin’s wedding because that’s the only vegetarian option and then immediately drive over bumpy rural roads while also recovering jetlag.

    #themoreyouknow #reallifelessons #Iprobablydrinktoomuch

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    i wish i got hungover like normal people! these tips would be very handy!

    a typical chlamydia hangover:
    1) wake up at the crack of dawn and know you’re about to expunge some serious shit out of your stomach so drink some water because you’ve convinced yourself “it’s easier to throw up this way”

    2) spend the next hour getting all the alcohol out of your system until you’re just throwing up water and bile

    3) get tired of running to the bathroom so lay down on the nearest bed-like piece of furniture and keep a trash can handy. be amazed at how the word ‘bile’ describes perfectly the look and smell and taste of the substance coming out of you.

    4) cry, plead, bargain with the gods to let you stop feeling nauseous enough for 2 seconds so that you can pass the hell out

    5) wake up in a few hours and eat something disgusting. if you keep it down, YOU WIN! if you throw it up, return to step 3.

    nothing else works. nothing. nothing ever has ever worked.
    except for drinking less.
    that works.

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    What I do:

    Night before- SO MUCH WATER. If you are drunk, drinking water is easier. Force 2 large glasses at least, if you can 3 to be sure or 4 to be extra extra sure.

    Then, SLEEP. As long as possible. Sleep that shit off. If you wake up at 6 AM, take some painkillers, but not the night before to avoid stomach/liver damage. Drink MORE WATER.

    When you absolutely have to be up/can’t sleep more, SHOWER. Immediately you will feel much better.

    Then eat food. My favorite hangover breakfast/lunch/brunch involves 1 EGG over easy on RICE, with chopped HAM, coffee with lots of milk and sugar, and more water. If the hangover is not too terrible and you can go out in public,
    BUY A BREAKFAST BURRITO.

    After this you should feel 1000x better, okay to interact with other human beings.

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    For weed hangovers(rare but extremely shitty): Suck some ice for that sore/burned throat. If you burnt your nostrils cause you were too baked to remember to exhale through your mouth, heavy hand or face lotion stops the burning. Take some ibuprofin for the headache and the general body ache. If you feel dizzy and sick, gatorade or some random juiceboxes you bought at the 7/11 at 3 am will help you. You probably shouldn’t eat much more than crackers or a few corn chips until you’re sure that the ridiculous amount of food you ate is fully digested. Gas-X or Tums is the way to go if you have indigestion, pepto will for sure make the dizzies worse (if you’re me)

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      Oh god I needed this earlier. I bought some food at Dyke March not knowing it was laced with pot (I don’t do drugs) and I had more than the average dose, so I found myself not knowing what country I was in then melting down in pain and horror and despair in front of Good Vibrations in Valencia St because it was the only shop I recognised at the time. Ended up at the ER thinking I was spiked/about to die, then after a urine test got scolded by the docs for not telling them I smoked – I don’t! sigh. My brain was fried for a week.

      What’s a good strategy for dealing with edibles overdose?

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        Well, knowing you’ve eaten edibles is a good start. Really the best thing to do is sit quietly somewhere and maybe listen to music while you come down. Tea helps quite a bit with the morning/week after. Coffee makes me jittery but tea is good for removing brainfog.

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    Water is totally key. Usually I’m sooo hungry when I get home from drinking so I just try to eat what sounds good, is in my kitchen and I can manage to carry into my room. Somehow last night I made a cheddar and mushroom omelet, I have no idea how but it was really tasty. While getting the food I drink half to a whole pint glass of water, immediately refill and repeat. Then I find bad shows on hulu or netflix and pass out after the food is done. I usually wake up at like 6 because I’m crazy dehydrated so I chug more water and sleep for another couple of hours. Sometimes that’s enough but if it’s not I drink even more water, have some fruit and shower off the weird layer of drunk sweat and grunge. By then I usually feel like I can encounter other humans without acting like a neanderthal

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    When I have a nasty hangover, I’m not eating anything. I’ll try and drink water or gatorade or tea until my stomach has settled enough that the thought and/or smell of food doesn’t make me nauseous. Generally, I curl up in a ball of pain and try to sleep on the couch with bouts of going to the bathroom to throw up.

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    If you are puking. call in sick, obviously. you will continue to vomit for much of the day. Drink water, eat dry toast, vomit one last time. Take a shower. Eat eggs, bacon and more toast. Hangover dealt with.

    If you have a headachy hangover, drink lots of water, take painkillers ( i usually pop 800 mg of IB, myself. I’m a big girl) I love an electrolyte drink while hungover. Powerade, gatorade, vitaminwater, whatever.

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    “The only way to get through a hangover is fried food.”

    AGREED.

    When I know I’ve had too much I drink at least two glasses of water before passing out, and the next day I’m allll about some all-natural T otal H angover C ure, and oddly enough, waffles or pancakes if I’m able to make it (or am lucky enough to have someone make them for me/buy some for me). Peanut butter smeared on top is a must. But that’s just me.

    HOWEVER– if the hangover is from wine, then all bets are off and it’s just better to find any way possible to just sleep as looooong as possible. There is nothing on this earth that makes wine hangovers better.

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    Drink plenty of water before you sleep. And drink Pedialyte the next day. Yeah, its for kids, but it totally works. I felt brand new after drinking it. Sleeping as long as possible and eating breads like pizza will be a huge help too. But half the time I just don’t eat, and drink plenty of water.

    Usually my worst hangovers are with wine. Other than that, I don’t get them.

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    I can’t take credit for this, but sadly I don’t know the original source:

    1 star hangover
    No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka Redbulls.
    However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.

    2 star hangover
    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

    3 star hangover
    Slight headache. stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.
    You’ve had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven’t peed once.

    4 star hangover
    You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can’t speak too quickly or else you might spew.Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can’t hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems.Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class circa 1976.You would give a weeks pay for one of the following – home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.

    5 star hangover
    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you.Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth.Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.
    You’d cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn’t even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let’s face it, all you can manage to do is breathe very gently.

    6 star hangover
    You arrive home and climb into bed.

    Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi.You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room.No matter what you do you now, you’re going to chuck.You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet.If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived.Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark.
    With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won’t relent.You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last occasion.It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair.You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital.
    Work is simply not an option.The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving.You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.

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    Some wonderful antidotes have been mentioned. Great wisdom up in here.

    Here are a few supplement/pharmaceutical/exercise options that haven’t been mentioned (I think):

    1. Ultimate Liver Cleanse/Liver Booster/Milk Thistle (various brands):

    Now, this stuff shouldn’t really work this quickly, but I’ve had good luck taking a few Milk Thistle-based supplements the night of drinking (along with a liter of water.) Really seems to minimize the toxic feeling.

    2. Codeine-based painkillers: If you live in Canada or another enlightened place like Britain or France: a couple of codeine tablets will virtually erase your hangover. NOT TO BE USED REGULARLY. ADDICTIVE and not a good long-term plan. But for the every once in a while, it’s great.

    3. Stepping up- Vicodin: 1 or 2 5mg tabs will wipe that hangover out in 20 minutes. Again, do not repeat regularly. But it works a charm as long as Vicodin doesn’t upset your tummy. Of course, you still need to drink plenty of fluids and eat very healthy in order to get the toxins out of your system.

    4. Xanax: If you have a death hangover, if you’ve called in work, if weed makes you anxious, take a small dosage of xanax, maybe .25mg, kick back, hydrate and fall asleep. Take a 3-4 hour nap and you’ll wake up feeling in the pink. I’ve never tried other benzos for this, but I’m sure they’d work. The tiniest amount of Xanax puts me straight to sleep, so that’s what I have used. This is mostly for when you’ve awakened very hungover but you can’t get back to sleep.

    Now, all of these remedies should be combined with copious amounts of water and no next-few-days drinking, NO TYLENOL if you’re taking codeine/hydrocodone (very liver toxic). And excellent healthy living: salads, fruits, running/swimming if you can manage it (the first 15 minutes are hell, but after that you feel great.)

    5. In general, I always found running on the treadmill at the gym to work wonders for a brutal hangover. For instance, when stuck at work, barely getting through the morning, I’d take a 30-45 min. jog on the treadmill at lunchtime. Afterwards, I’d feel tired but pretty damn awesome. You’re sweating out those toxins more quickly by running. Yes, the first 15 min. is brutal, but then the natural endorphins kick in. Yoga is effective and awesome too.

    6. SAUNA: Again, even if at work, get to the gym during lunch break and sit in the sauna with a litre of water next to you. SWEAT. Drink. You will be tired afterwards, but you’ll feel marvelous (or at least not hungover and able to work with a clear head). This has worked for the Russian working and ruling classes (and the Scandinavians) for centuries.

    Nowadays, I work from home, so I usually just sleep it off. Also, I’m getting older and hangovers have increased in virulence so I don’t drink as much. But the above remedies (not all at once and combined with fluid/food suggestions already provided) have gotten me through days at work where I just had to be on the one. I have a little bit more experience with this than I’d like to admit.

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      I am a big believer in the codeine based painkiller. (I live in the UK.) But, not just because they get rid of the hangover but because they also make me really high. So, honestly, I could still be hungover but I wouldn’t notice because I’m too busy watching everything float.

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    well, I live in Thailand (also known as the land of smiles due to easy access to pharmaceuticals), so maybe this isn’t possible for everyone. but I pop a xanax when I get home shmammered and i’m literally bouncing off walls & hangover free the next day.

    my hangovers are sent from lucifer himself but i get the added bonus of mad anxiety, complete with shakes. and i CANNOT sleep hungover without it. its a lifesaver.

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    A banana and 2 full bottles of water before bedtime.

    The water allows for many visits to the porcelain throne to “flush and rinse” the bladder before that alcohol sits overnight…

    The banana..well, that’s always been my saving grace to avoid next-day hangovers.

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    Being younger than 25 is usually a pretty neat way to avoid the really really epic (3 day long) hangovers. Ever since that age (I’m 30), it’s been a descent into longer and deeper hangovers – worse headaches, worse nausea. Basically, guys, what I’m saying here is – IT GETS WORSE.

    The only way to avoid this epic pain, I have found, is to drink less than 5 bottles of beer (for me at least, this is the point of no return with respect to being sick the next day). And not mixing drinks. That’s a headache waiting to happen.

    But, if you must drink too much, my personal strategy is:
    1. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Some people get up and shower, this makes me worse. SLEEP. 4 or 5 hours later, I’m right as rain. Telling me to get up/eat fried food/shower will make me want to kill you.
    2. If I know I can’t sleep in, the night before I do the following:
    – Eat something, lots of carbohydrate is best. PLEASE DON’T EAT A CURRY. Bad idea, I know it’s tasty but don’t do it. Your nausea will most likely get worse.
    – Drink a pint of water
    – If your stomach isn’t too full of liquid (aka alcohol), have a pint of milk (seems to help settle the tum)
    – Have 1 Ibuprofen, 1 Paracetemol
    – If you live in somewhere that stocks it, “Irn Bru” is the nectar of the gods when you’re hungover. To be honest, anything similarly syrupy does the trick.

    Also, prior to drinking: put anything like car keys, or phone numbers of ex girlfriends, or basically anything bad, as far out of reach from your future-drunk-self as possible.

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    I never take painkillers when I’m hungover. Gotta minimize the liver damage, for one, and for two, I feel like that’s gotta be some sort of karmic punishment. If it didn’t hurt, I’d do it all the time, you know? Suffering through it makes me think twice.

    Actually, what I really do is just sing Bright Eyes’ “Hit the Switch” all day. A sampling of lyrical content for all you drinkers out there: “I’m thinking of quitting drinking again/ I know I said that a couple of times/ And I’m always changing my mind/ Well, I guess I am/ But there’s this burn in my stomach/ And there’s this pain in my side/ And when I kneel at the toilet/ And the morning’s clean light Pours in through the window/ Sometimes I pray I don’t die/ I’m a goddamn hypocrite.”

    At the risk of being ridiculous, I won’t continue, but…look it up. I always sing this to myself and cry and laugh because I’m just going to do it again next weekend.

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    For alcohol hangovers:

    Eat something greasy like a burger or pizza while drunk. Anything with grease and carbs works. Once home, drink one huge glass of water, one glass of skimmed milk and take some painkillers – whichever works best for you. Leave more painkillers and a bottle of water by your bed.

    For *other* hangovers:

    Make sure you have some of those nice moisturised tissues – the ones with a ‘soothing balm’. If your nose is running, you’ll be blowing a lot and blowing really hurts that poor nose. I like a little vaseline to put on/in the nostril that has taken the abuse. Also, if you’re prone to nosebleeds, don’t wear anything light-coloured the next day. Or during your adventure. And watch out for your shoes.

    For a more pill-based hangover, have a bunch of orange juice and vit C supplements as soon as you can manage. If you’re in a country that sells Marmite and you actually like it, some of that on toast works nicely as soon as you can eat.

    Seriously, water and vit C are best.

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    OK Y’all. I’m about to blow your mind.

    Coke. Float.

    As in, a coca-cola with icecream, idk if “coke float” is dialectic. Dialectic, does that make sense there? You know what I mean.

    Coke has the sugar and the caffeine to perk you up, the fat in the icecream gives your stomach another lining and the milk calms your fragile tummy.

    And then eat a bunch of bacon, because that shit fixes any/everythin’.

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    BANANAS!

    Seriously, put a banana in your purse before you start drinking so when you’re drunk as a skunk and fumbling with your keys to get back into your apartment and fall face down on the floor, you’ll be like “ooo I forgot I had this yummy banana” and scarf it down. You’ll wake up with a banana peel in your purse but NO HANGOVER

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    I can’t believe no one has said NYQUIL!

    Okay.. bear with me here. If you get hangovers like i do, after going to bed at 3:30 or if you can’t even remember how or when you went to bed, and you were stupid enough not to go to mcdonalds for a drunken binge in order to have something in your stomach when you wake up, then taking tylonol or ibuprofen will not work.. in fact you’ll just start throwing up faster.

    When i start throwing up, it’s like it won’t stop until 3 pm or even later – the whole day is a write off. when you get that sick, all you want to do is fall asleep so that your head will stop pounding, your stomach will stop making you get out of bed to run to the toilet every fifteen minutes to dry heave, and your eyes will stop feeling like they’re going to bulge out of your skull.

    Best solution? After you throw up, you have about a 15 minute window to get to the drugstore or convenience store, because if you’re like me, you didn’t plan ahead.

    Here’s what you buy:
    gatorade or powerade… anything but the red stuff. the lighter the colour the better.

    carbs – whether that be bread, buns, crackers, chips, or muffins. you’ll need that.

    NYQUIL.

    I once had a hangover so bad that i just wanted to fall asleep, so i took some nyquil and within half an hour i was fast asleep… i woke up at about 3 pm and my headache was almost completely gone, i felt HUNGRY, which is great because when i’m hungover the thought of food makes me throw up.

    here’s what i recommend then. If you’re lucky enough to have a convenience store within a 5 minute walk from you, chances are you’ve made it home just in time to throw up again. Hopefully you made it.

    After you throw up, drink as much of the gatorade as you can, and try to force yourself to have at least a few bites of the carb-enriched substance – bread, muffin, whatever – just to help absorb any remnants of alcohol or whatever is making you dry heave.

    Once you’ve done that, take a recommended dosage of NYQUIL that you would take if you had the flu or a cold or whatever. Then go to bed… And just try not to think about throwing up. If you’re like me, you need to make a conscious effort to achieve this. Before you know it, you’ll be knocked right out, and you’ll wake up feeling somewhat refreshed.

    When you wake up, drink the remainder of the gatorade, and the rest of the bread or muffin or whatever, and continue with your day. Hey, you can probably even go out that night, and repeat the process again tomorrow :)

    You’re welcome.

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    I hardly ever get hungover nowadays. Maybe I am not drinking nearly enough. No, that’s not true.

    I hardly ever throw up from a hangover nowadays.

    But besides the constant water-drinking, I totally second the person who mentioned thinking ahead and placing the pills with water by your bed for the sure-to-be painful pounding, nausea or both that will wake you up from your seemingly-all-too-short slumber the next morning, i.e. later in the day (if you are like me and get home near the crack of dawn).

    http://SoNotStraight.tumblr.com

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    This is so incredibly relevant to my lifestyle, as my weekends have been running a blurry line somewhere from Wednesdays through Sundays lately, and there is definitely work in between and after. Basically, all I do is make good decisions.

    Also, this: “Always, always carry a spare contact case (and maybe your glasses) in your bag when you go out.” Best advice for the vision impaired. It’s even more essential than sleep, hydration, something in your stomach other than booze and regret, etc.

    I never drink enough water when I’m consuming alcohol, but a few glasses throughout the drinking period make all the difference between whether the hangover will be monstrous, or just a lingering headache and hankering for greasy food.

    My go-to morning after jam on weekdays is either toast, scrambled eggs or tofu with cheese and salsa, and orange juice, or a bagel with cream cheese and Naked Juice. Stashing 5-hour Energies in my desk at work and having upbeat music and engaging podcasts on my ipod is also a must. Nothing is worse for a weekday hangover than silence and exhaustion.

    On weekends, it’s whatever is leftover from the day/night/week before (pizza is nice for this), plus a Bloody Mary and/or beer. A baby pool is also essential.

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    Haven’t read the article yet, but I just want to say this is perfectly timed. I just turned 21 yesterday, then had to wake up at 8 this morning for wine tasting in Napa. Suffice to say, I was hung the fuck over. Can’t wait to read this!

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    Okay, so I got pretty trashed at my brother’s wedding recently, mixing several alcohols (red wine, white wine, champagne, scotch, rum? I think?)

    And in the middle of the night, some of the bride’s mom’s cousin’s found me in the hallway and took me to their room and made me drink two glasses of water and take some aspirin and a multivitamin (WITH B VITAMINS).

    worked like a charm.

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    I usually try to just drink a lot of water while I’m drinking whatever else I’m drinking. And I try to pace what I’m drinking. (It’s old-fashioned but I don’t usually get hungover, and avoiding hangovers is always nice; I got good anti-hangover genes.) And then usually the next day I just drink lots of tea, and probably more water. And if I think I’m really going to be hungover I try to sleep a lot the next day too.

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    ive been badly hungover just 2.5 times in my life. this is because i take 3 different medications that all make hangovers unlikely, and also give me the alcohol tolerance of a 12 year old girl. ie: i just had ONE glass of wine with dinner and am severely tipsy. (i save lots of money)

    anyways if youre a puker when hungover (or if your GIRLFRIEND is a puker) you need to get anti nausea pills from your doctor. then you can take one/force your lady friend to take one before bed and then no one feel nauseous or throws up in your bed. AWESOME

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    Hangovers are caused by internal organ damage, which leads to a lack of:

    Glucose
    Water
    Calcium
    Potassium.

    If you blend a little honey (glucose), ice, skim milk (calcium), and a banana (potassium) in the blender, it becomes a milkshake-esque item which

    IMMEDIATELY IMPROVES LIFE.

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    I swear by senior vitamins for a hangover. It’s probably all the vitamin D they’ve got in there, but it really works.

    Also, being hungover is basically like being a senior (achy, tired, memory not so good), so there’s that.

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    All these cures made me wonder if there’s a market for a Hangover Cure Delivery Cart/Taxi/Recuperation service. A van with a bed in the back, lots of water/electrolytic drinks/fried food/the meds you need, and a way to get home.

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    FIELD NOTES:

    last night i drank farrr too much vodka, including quite a lot of red bull (thai red bull, no less). keeping all the ideas in mind, i made sure to space it out with water.

    got home at 7. ate oatmeal with one whole banana and oat milk plus one whole egg and one egg white plus an apple. took a xanax & passed out for 7 1/2 hours. woke up feeling like a million dollars.

    usually i’d feel like death. i think the banana, oats, and egg were the key here.

    or the pharmaceuticals.

    nice suggestions, ladies.

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    wow…advice-tastic!

    I would add that asian noodles work really well at keeping nausea part at bay – I like somen (thin japanese wheat noodles – they take about 4 minutes to cook) with a little sesame oil on it (the sesame’s supposed to be good for your liver – don’t care if it’s true, it makes me feel better) Easier for me to keep down than crackers with their saltiness.

    also, in response to all the people saying that it gets worse as you get older…I never really used to get terrible terrible hangovers, then a couple of months ago alcohol started to really affect me more than it ever had before — crazy nausea and feeling like DEATH in the morning and through the day. really weird. I figured it was just my advancing years (I just turned 26).

    It turned out to be mono. There’s no moral to this story (aside from, don’t drink when you have mono because your liver will HATE you), I just wanted to share my stupidity with the group.

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    I drink fairly heavily(and partake in other goodies) the majority of the week and I never ever get hangovers. I believe prevention is the best cure.

    Step 1: Eat a banana. I usually have Diana’s Babies(frozen bananas dipped in chocolate) in my freezer so I eat one of those before going to sleep. I read somewhere once that potassium prevents hangovers, so I’ve been going with that and it works well.

    Step 2: Rehydrate. Not just one glass either, one glass isn’t enough. I mean just think about how much you just peed. You need to replace all of that damn liquid. The majority of your hangover symptoms are just dehydration. I prefer gatorade, but usually I have spent all of my money on booze so water does just fine. You need at least 3 glasses, but try for more.

    Step 3: Vitamins. Emergen-C is my drug of choice here. I usually drink two packets at once in about half a cup of water.

    Step 4: Sleep. Shoot for at least 6 hours. I never have to be at work before 11:30 so I usually manage this quite fine.

    Step 5: Go out the next night, drink all of the alcohol and do it all over again.

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    Pho! I can’t believe no one else has said pho. If you like pho (hungover or sober) and are single, we need to talk. Over some pho. Preferably not hungover. But maybe hungover from the night before.

    Oh, and awesome thing about pho joints is that they are usually open early-ish (my fave opens at 9 a.m.) so you can get some as soon as you wake up.

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    What I’m doing right now:
    Water
    2 ibuprofen
    Hash browns
    Water
    Brush teeth
    TAKE OFF MAKEUP (I feel like this is vital)
    Shower
    2 more ibuprofen
    Brush teeth again
    More water
    Sleep

    I will report back on the effectiveness of this hangover remedy technique (?)

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      So I’m still drunk but not hating life which I think is more a symptom of self esteem than of my hangover cure.

      Also I just flooded my friend’s bathroom while attempting to shower, then shamefully hid the soaked towel I used to fix it, which I fully blame on my morning-drunk logic. She will be confused re the sopping thing in the laundry room sink and I’m sure karma will catch up with me shortly because I’m about to get on a plane like this.

      To the poster above: I am sorry I typoed while trying to unleash my drunk wit on you (?) which, if I’m being honest, would have happened if I was sober anyway.

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    as someone who endures hangovers at work on a weekly basis, sometimes more, I’ve learned to live with that state pretty well : systematic 20 minute-nap-at-desk-in-openspace, san pellegrino bottle with me at all times, and more cheerfulness than necessary to stay awake during client meetings.
    also, if hangovers get way worse over time (apparently before 25 you can drink a bottle of vodka and pass an applied finance test the next day…), they get really better when you quit smoking.
    i find the worst kind is when you walk in at work still drunk and the hangover kicks in mid-day…
    one last observation : hangovers seem to be largely a spirit/state-of-mind thing. if you’re relaxed about being a total mess and try to spend an ok-day by seing friends/doing stuff even if you can barely coordinate your movements, you don’t stress as much about your state as you would on your couch in front of total wipeout…

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      totally agree! smoking too much makes things SO much worse the next day. and your sentiment about it being a spirit/ state of mind thing is SO true. i used to get all panicky/anxious but i can talk myself out of it now, and if i push on through try to incorporate some sunshine, good people, and good music it really does do the trick more often than not. good advice!

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    i have many beverages to cure my hangover. i down a coconut water, then a kombucha, sipping on coffee and water all morning. a few hours later i’ll eat some fried potatoes or a subway sandwich, or jimmy john’s. coconut water is the perfect re-hydrator and helps you hang on to the electrolytes you need to reboot. kombucha aligns all your alkaloids and detoxes your liver, and the bubbles perk you up. always drink coffee, even if it sounds like a bad idea, just a half a cup. i always feel better. another delicious help is fresh-squeezed grapefruit with soda water. so refreshing and invigorating. if you can’t get any of these things, just soda water with lemon and a hot shower. i’m a bartender so i take my hangovers pretty seriously. hah.

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    hey guys… so as you can see about 20 posts up i was bragging about surviving nearly 21 years with hardly any hangovers.
    well JOKE’S ON ME THIS MORNING!!!!!

    last night i covered myself with glitter and played grounders on a playground in my underwear and chased balloons through traffic and 2 random girls stopped me as i was wandering through downtown alone and insisted on driving me home.
    theres an EMPTY pizza box on my living room floor and standing up does not feel too nice.

    moral of the story: not bragging about hangovers = hangovers
    second moral of the story: autostraddle is my savior.

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