Comments on: Do Lesbians Need Rules for the Gay Girl/Straight Girl Friendship?

By: Rose

Rose — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 20:57:00 +0000

I think the reason why gay women are friends more often with straight women than gay guys are with straight men is more because of the way it appears from the straight woman’s end. Being mistaken for gay isn’t perceived as quite the insult to a straight girl’s femininity that it is to a straight man’s masculinity, since the male gaze sees lesbians as “hot” (and while there are certainly some straight girls who feel the same way about gay men, good look finding examples of that in the mainstream US media) and because in general, the pressure for girls to conform to gender roles is a lot less than it is for guys.

By: Leon

Leon — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 18:10:42 +0000

Haha, i guess i have….understandings with my best straight female friends
1. I’m not interested like that, fancying hetty girls is a waste of my time and yours
2. you don’t flirt with me unless you mean business
(unless we are super-close this includes the over-touchiness that crosses into a grey area)
3. I will never talk to your chest or perv when you’re changing
4. bed-sharing is A-Ok
5. if i want to be uber-graphic, I’ll talk to my guy friends
6. no, you can’t get off with me for male attention
7. you only get to ask what it is lesbians do in bed once and once only.

My best friend said if I was a straight guy she’d date me – and it wasn’t awkward – we must be doing something right.

By: Fit For A Femme

Fit For A Femme — Fri, 28 May 2010 00:38:37 +0000

Dude, you’re on a website for lesbians called Autostraddle and you want to make out with girls. You might want to rethink your stance on not wanting to be gay. Just saying!

BEING GAY IS SUPERIOR. (See recent Effing Dykes post on The Lesbian Smirk TM.) Here, b/c I’m a nice lesbian:

http://effingdykes.blogspot.com/2010/05/twin-peaks.html#comments

Wait, that’s the one about boobs. My bad. Here, for real:

http://effingdykes.blogspot.com/2010/05/smirking-off.html

There. Enjoy!

By: Fit For A Femme

Fit For A Femme — Fri, 28 May 2010 00:24:41 +0000

Y’all are making me VERY happy to have never had roommates. Except for all those times my old girlfriend would call home and, you know, say I was her roommate.

By: Fit For A Femme

Fit For A Femme — Fri, 28 May 2010 00:23:05 +0000

Lesbians sometimes find boundaries…difficult. This troubles me. (Sorry, I was having a John Cage moment.) Poughkeepsie!

By: Basima

Basima — Thu, 27 May 2010 21:45:20 +0000

I am thinking of experimenting and making out wiht this girl. But I don’t know if I should because I don’t want to be gay. I just want to have the experience. It looks like so much fun. Shoud I experiment???

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:32:29 +0000

I am actually navigating this now, with making straight girl friends. Usually my friend circle is pretty queer, and there’s a fair bit of flirting and goofing around in that sense.

With straight girls, I don’t really talk about my sexuality too much, and try to focus on surface topics, or other things. Occasionally I’ll have to field awkward questions. Occasionally there’s weirdness, if a straight friend is feeling “experimental” and I have to figure out how to navigate boundaries.

The drunk kissing thing has never occured with straight girls with me, so I can’t really say on the ground rules for that situation. I pretty much have an unspoken rule to STAY AWAY FROM STRAIGHT WOMEN in that sense, drunk or sober. An ounce of prevention and all that, in terms of drama.

By: nine

nine — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:43:20 +0000

i have many wonderful straight, gay, and lesbian friends. and they are

i also have a great group of “straight” girl friends who are actually really fluid. like, so what if we got drunk and made out cause i just love you y’know.

By: Freddie

Freddie — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:52:43 +0000

They have real sex dolls (of both genders) on display at the museum of sex in nyc. Those things are terrifying. They also have some torso available for your feeling pleasure and let me just say somebody went to town on the inside of that lady. Wow. Not fun.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:37:26 +0000

So true. Before I came to this mystical fairy land called womens college all of my friends were straight stoner bros and whomever their girlfriends happened to be at the moment. I definitely found that I sought out friendships with guys and avoided other girls. Maybe this is odd because on the lesbian scale I’m pretty femme, but it’s what I felt comfortable doing. Now I am surrounded by beautiful women everyday and have many many straight/gay/bi/queer/trans/whatever friends to giggle and take whiskey shots and play topless spin the bottle with. Life is good.

By: microwave

microwave — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:07:45 +0000

Interesting point on the gay/straight friendship. I actually don’t have many close gay friends, in fact, all of my close friends are straight. And the only guy who I think of as a close friend is gay.LOL Maybe it differs with each country, in Taiwan, students at large pretty much accept gays and lesbians as friends. Though they do sometimes joke that me or our gay boy friend might move our sights on them, which is just slightly annoying. I haven’t encountered any hostility regarding being gay, yet.
Some guys that I know do think that it’s easier for a lesbian like me to get the girl I want because I’m friends with mostly girls. But I have a rule about never falling for straight friends. It’s an unspoken rule between our everyday interaction.

By: Carmen

Carmen — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 08:21:32 +0000

lol