FRIDAY (.gif) OPEN THREAD: Your Relationship Status

Hello genderfriends and ladlespoons (yup, totally stole it from Cameron, who is a genius)! It is Friday! Congrats to those who have Monday-Friday jobs and made it through the week. To everyone who has to work this weekend, hopefully your job is fun! But no matter what you’re up to this weekend, it’s time for the Friday Open Thread. The post where you post your thingz and probably a bunch of people respond to those thingz with more thingz and we have a bit ole chat with each other.

cat-sunglasses

Let’s seeee, what did I do this week? Nothing quite as exciting as the last time I did an open thread (we have not managed to get engaged a second time or anything). But since all of us last chatted to each other, Abby and I confirmed that we are indeed moving back into New York City! See, she got into Columbia Law and I got into The New School — have I mentioned that already? I totally have, sorry. I’m so darn excited about starting but also really nervous. Also I hate moving. And I hate moving in New York City especially because I don’t want to drive a truck in New York City (if you know of any “man with a van” type services in the queer community that’ll do a Jersey-NYC move, you should go ahead and let me know). And we’re doing all that in a about month! Ahhhhh!

And on top of that, we totally adopted a kitten.

And I’m covering this conference this weekend.

And we’re driving down to see my parents in South Carolina.

And also we’re cat sitting my brother’s cat for the summer but also we adopted a kitten (see above) and now we’re drastically outnumbered by cats.

We feel insane, clearly.

color-me-insane

And holy crap, we’re both going back to school!

AHHHHH.

But I’m not here to talk about any of that, really. Y’all just need to know it because it illustrates what a gosh darn perfect human my fiancée is, going through all this amazing crazy with me. I wouldn’t be able to do all these things with this much clarity and mental health if it weren’t for her complete wonderfulness. I am so damn lucky it hurts. Life is just so good right now.

So I’m combining those feelings for both my partner and our relationship with my penchant for gif open threads. Yeah, let’s also chat like we normally do on Fridays. But also lets get a little silly. Queermos, give me the gif that best describes your relationship status! And remember, that can mean “single” or “ballin’ rn” or “happily surrounded by friends” or “u-hauling” or “it’s v. v. v. v. complicated” or “engayged” or “fuck relationships” or any number of things, so get creative.

Here, I’ll start:

to-me-you-are-perfect

Sorry Riese (and also most of you), I know you don’t like this movie but I love this movie!

Ugh, I know, I’m the worst.

 

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Freelance writer and fiction author, Geekery Editor for Autostraddle.com and Fiction Editor for qu.ee/r Magazine. Keep up with her at her website.

Ali has written 277 articles for us.

353 Comments

  1. Thumb up 4

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    Can I say I’ve been going on dates and hanging out with a person I met on a dating site and I still don’t know if we’re a thing? Because that is what is happening right now for me :-/

    I’m just going to work on my muscle cars this weekend :)

  2. Thumb up 24

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    I’m hanging out tonight with a super cool gal who may or may not be into gals, I am pretty sure my friend/bisexual guy I recently hooked up with is about to come out to me as gay, and it’s almost exactly one year since my exgf completely obliterated my heart.

    But yesterday I bought this hot pink and cyan official MLB Texas Rangers snapback for $10 from a random hat stand by my bus stop:

    So I guess my relationship status is floating somewhere between optimistic and zero fucks given.

  3. Thumb up 4

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    Gifs are too complicated for me. Anyone have any recommendations for “things are tense and now we have to go on a long planned vacation this weekend and I’m nervous about the outcome”? Or maybe just some advice? Advice is great. Haha.

    • Thumb up 6

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      Not gonna lie, this little turtle was the first thing that popped into my head.

      Other than that, the only advice I have is to remember that is things hit to fan, coming out on the other side able to move onward and upward is better than staying in something that’s tense and unhappy. It sucks in every way as something to get through, but it can be gotten through.

  4. Thumb up 4

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    This is all so awesome and I left my laptop at work because I’m there tmrw as per so can’t join the gif ness with my BlackBerry.
    So yeah. My relationship status would be a gif of unlikely friends from instagram cuddling in pyjamas. I’m the French Bulldog, missus is the cat. We are sickening.
    So yeah.
    Also Orphan Black is killing me…I’m in the UK so a week behind the States and so not reading the recaps. If Cos dies we riot…right?!?

  5. Thumb up 5

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    Anyone have a gif covering something like: “I swear I’m the only lesbian in San Diego over 21 who’s single and/or open to meeting new queer friends”? ._. Everyone I’ve met in the last few years has been straight, bi-but-only-interested-in-men-or-models, or my professor.

  6. Thumb up 3

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    What’s the gif for “in a relationship that is great but the girl I’m with is moving countries in one month and although we love each other we’re not really up for long distance because we know it’s not going to work”? If anyone finds one, please direct it my way!

    • Thumb up 6

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      Well, damn. I was looking for something that illustrated “my girlfriend of three years with whom I was house-shopping and ring-shopping and family-planning went to the gym and then forgot to come home for six months, then she cried a lot and I took her back, and silly me, she’s doing the same thing again,” but it looks like you found one. Bonus points for G1 Transformers, though, that made me smile.

  7. Thumb up 16

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    Except replace “hot boys” with “my hot husband.” I’m playing the field as far as ladies are concerned though, and getting ready to come out officially to more than just close friends. In related news, our Pride events officially start tonight with a girls party that I’m going to.

  8. Thumb up 8

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    Is there a gif for “wishing to meet someone but scared to do so”? Plus many things you’ve already said (so glad to know I’m not the only one feeling those things right now :) ).

    But Ali, I love that you’re happy, it’s made my day happier :)

  9. Thumb up 18

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    I’m so single and horny it hurts, and I keep seeing cute people. But then I remember I’m in NC and most of the people I see are straight.

    (Why did I turn down my ex last weekend when we could have had “why the hell not?!” sex…..)

  10. Thumb up 4

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    Any gif suggestions for in a super long term monogamous (7 years!) loving relationship with a guy, who you don’t want to leave, but also crawling up the walls because you desperately want to be able to date other people too, particularly your super cute poly ladyfriend who has expressed considerable interest? *help*

      • Thumb up 0

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        I honestly don’t know if I’d feel better or worse if there was no-one else interested. Obviously it’s nice to have the interest, but it doesn’t make the situation any less complicated! Ugh, hope you manage to figure yours out somehow, no idea what I’m going to do with mine.

    • Thumb up 0

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      No GIF suggestions, but this was me a year and a half ago and I’ve worked it out – with the great husband still, and dating wonderful ladies too. So feel free to message me if you want to compare notes, get advice, etc. My main suggestion is just to be open and honest with your guy, and make it clear above all that you still love him and want to be with him, and this is about discovering your identity (or whatever feels like the right wording for you). Good luck!

  11. Thumb up 9

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    This is realistic..

    but this one was just too good to pass up:

    I’m like, super single, like longterm, heartbroken, incompatible single.
    But now, there is this friend,I suddenly,like after knowing each other forever,there’s chemistry with, but it’s just not a good idea, and there is this girl I simply cannot judge whether she is 100% straight or interested or not or we’re just potential friends or whatever,but whom I might like.
    So I am single with the implication of future complications.
    At the end of the day, I’ll probably just be single,which is totally ok,but I did get a little bit worried,yesterday, when I caught myself googling kissing scenes on YT…If you need a recommendation, Gail and Holly from Rookie Blue are like super sweet and the Karma Amy stuff from Faking It, is,too, of course. I’ll probably pop by on this thread in a couple of weeks with a bottle of Bailey’s and a recommendation for end of season 3 Warehouse 13 music videos.
    Have a sweet weekend,everyone! Tomorrow is pride time in my town!

  12. Thumb up 4

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    I hope everyone has had/will have a good Friday and a good weekend.

    With regards to relationships, I’m not seriously dating anyone right now, but I did have a hook-up last weekend and also two weeks ago. I’m not sure what sort of gif to put for that. It’s really hot here, since it’s almost summer, so I’ll just submit this.

    Generally, I don’t mind the heat, but every now and then, that’s how I feel during summer.

  13. Thumb up 14

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    I’m polyamorous so my relationships are basically this:

    Also also this week my lover sent me a piece of erotic fiction he wrote in the mail! I love receiving gifts in the mail and receiving letters/writing is even better!

  14. Thumb up 19

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    and a bit of this

    I’ve been single forever (literally forever, not even joking) and I should be used to it but now it’s making me sad and part of me is genuinely worried I might be alone forever and then I tell myself 22 isn’t old and I probably won’t be alone forever but WHAT IF I AM?

    • Thumb up 4

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      I have definitely been there. I didn’t find my first girlfriend until I was 26, and she was my first kiss, too. I’m sure my conservative Baptist upbringing had a good deal to do with it… but definitely don’t give up hope, there’s someone great out there for you :)

      • Thumb up 2

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        I’m not alone! *snuggles you all* I really thought I was the only one (*cough* narcissism *cough*) and I was wondering what was wrong with me and I had major issues with feeling like my lack of experience (also a member of the never been kissed club, holla!) invalidated my queerness, wondering if I was just reallly really really unattractive etc etc. But there are so many wonderful people who are very single and there’s nothing wrong with them. There’s nothing wrong with *us*. It’s weird because I never wanted a relationship, never really wanted anything people told me i was *supposed* to want (dudes, childrens, sex etc) and I ID’d as asexual for ageeees and now I’m suddenly getting the sads and I have all these FEELINGS and it sucks but it’s also amazing and scary.

  15. Thumb up 1

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    I’m in a “crushing hard on my very straight friend and roommate who keeps being very affectionate towards me in a very confusing way making me want to confess all my feelings which would probably make things very awkward” kind of relationship. I need to find a gay lady or some serious advice for this situation.

  16. Thumb up 3

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    1. Met female-identified person on OkCupid
    2. Went on 4 dates (well, 3, if we’re being technical)
    3. Changed relationship status to reflect that my single days were -so I thought- over, even if temporarily
    4. Found out she thought there was no ‘spark’ and that she thought we ‘shouldn’t force it’ and that we’d be better off as friends.
    5. Have stayed friends but haven’t spent any time together.

    How does one GIF that?

  17. Thumb up 9

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    I’m comfortably single in a romantic sense, and living with my roommate/possibly queerplatonic partner. (We’re much closer than the businesslike relationship of “roommates,” and we have long talks about what we want to do with our life (singular) here, but we aren’t dating and don’t have romantic feelings about each other.)

    On the other hand, I’m looking for creative/artsy/writer friends to co-create with and I don’t even know where to start… Is there like an OkCupid for writing friends? I’ve tried Dreamwidth and LiveJournal but they’re both quiet, and I hate Tumblr, so…?

    • Thumb up 1

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      Platonic relationships should definitely be a thing that happens more. It’s like saying “we are more than just friends” but without it getting all romantic. Anyway, what kind of writer are you? And yeah, there are sites for writers to meet other writers, not dating sites but collaborative writing sites. If I remember what any are called I will tell you :p (gotta be careful though coz the T&Cs usually mean the company can legally plagiarise you all).

      • Thumb up 0

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        I really wish (queer)platonic relationships were more of a thing. Like, we aren’t involved with each other in a romantic (or sexy) way, but at the same time, if she or I needed to go to the hospital, I would hope our employers would give the other one the day off to go with, you know? We’re friends, but not “just friends.”

        I’m a casual writer looking to get a little more serious about my craft. Mostly I write YA and middle grade, since that’s what I read for fun and profit – a bit of fantasy, a bit of historical and contemporary, just whatever really, and a lot of queers.

        If you think of any of those sites, let me know!

    • Thumb up 1

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      My platonic Art buddy was the best until she got a boyfriend and moved away with him. Finding someone on the same creative wavelength is so damn hard. Keeping them is harder. In some ways this whole thing was worse than a breakup.

  18. Thumb up 8

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    Translation: Two nerdy/geeky baby gays dating, despite the presence of obvious deal breakers that may blow up in our faces eventually, because we are figuring things out, it’s way more fun than being alone, and trying to continue being straight is happily not happening! Package that all up. Stuff it into a quotation relating to Cosima Niehaus, because she is my current massive fictional character crush.

  19. Thumb up 8

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    Eternally single + budding crush on a person who is in an open relationship + sometimes super attracted to my best friend who is married but not quite monogamous + I don’t know exactly how open either of those situations are = this is way too complicated for my level (0) of relationshp experience and I have no idea how to proceed

  20. Thumb up 6

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    So I’m single, and pretty okay with it! But I still would LOVE to be in a relationship…it’s killing me, but only a bit. I feel romantic more and more each day, and it’s not even directed at anybody in particular, except maybe my possible future crush/girlfriend?? Like I’m SO ready to throw flowers at someone, god dang it.

  21. Thumb up 2

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    I’ve never done gifs…. I’m single single single and I think I’d like not to be, but…. I’m also working so so so so so so so much and have so little time and mental and emotional energy left over that I can’t seem to… attach. I go on okcupid dates and think they are lovely and then get sucked into the whirlwind of my week and then the next thing I know my roommate is like “oh hey, are you going to hang out with _____ again?” and I look at her and blink and furrow my brow and wonder if I have attachment disorder. I dunno. Maybe I haven’t found the right person yet to ignite some energy. It’s been a while since I’ve had anything real exciting though, so… :/

    Also my work takes a lot of emotional/social energy and I’m an introvert. meh. so what gifs describe all that? It’s like I desire a thing, but then I get all distracted by my tasks at hand, and then I turn around and feel like “oh, she was lovely..” but then I’m all exhausted anyway. It’s like there’s this really amazing chocolate bar that’s just out of reach, and then it’s always just out of reach because I can’t just seem to really turn my head and focus on it. But everyone else is eating chocolate! Or at least able to focus on it. I seem to be missing spark with anyone too. I don’t know, y’all, I’m beginning to wonder if my spark generator is broken.

  22. Thumb up 2

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    So I’m in the process of having my two and a half year girlfriend break my heart, but I swear I won’t go back with her because its not good for me and I’ve let her walk all over me too long… but somehow that makes nothing easier.
    In other news my laptop is sucking so I can’t see most of your lovely gifs, or find one for myself. Regardless though its good to know y’all are out there! :) <3

  23. Thumb up 6

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    I wish I could meet/date someone without actually having to go to the effort of leaving my house on a Friday night and meeting people….

    Seriously though, what is the appropriate GIF for constantly getting crushes on straight coworkers,I’m horrible at meeting new people and even worse at letting them know I’m interested in them?

  24. Thumb up 3

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    I don’t have a gif for “happily married and totally crushing on my coworker for fun,” but I’m mostly commenting to say welcome to Columbia Law to your fiancee! I graduated in 2010. Good luck to her (and to you at the New School), and enjoy NYC!

    • Thumb up 5

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      LOL KIDDING. SORT OF? There is never going to be a single GIF or JPEG to really describe our relationship. I just know that it was this at first

      Then time didn’t start to matter. Our body clocks are probs forever fked up and we’ll always sleep at more or less odd hours. And we’re still here. ♥

  25. Thumb up 0

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    i would like recs for a good slow dance song THAT IS NOT SUPER-ROMANTIC lovey love-love. just for the person i’m dating but not relationshipping with to enjoy together. so far the best i have is ‘brides of neptune’ by cracker; needs improvement. my person is great and awesome and we feel close to each other. we need a song, too!

  26. Thumb up 6

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    I literally just signed up solely for the purpose of posting on this thread (despite having no gifs)…because it was really really comforting reading several posts of people who haven’t or hadn’t kissed anyone when they are/were in their 20s. I’m 24 and I haven’t kissed anyone BUT I might kiss someone soon and I crave the comfort and advice of semi anon older queers ’cause the thing is… I’m worried that there’s a good chance that my very first kiss could also be my very last with this girl (or you know, ever, if I’m feeling melodramatic and yes, I am). We’ve been friends for years and I’ve had a little bit of a crush on her and she asked me out on a date-date 3 months ago and it was utterly glorious and wonderful and giddy making and we were very chaste and highschoolish and held hands and cuddled and kissed on the cheek goodbye. Aaand she was scheduled to leave the country pretty much the next day. So. We left it at our friendship is maybe evolving into something else and we really really like each other and let’s figure it out when we’re both on the same continent. And we chatted and skyped a fair bit and now she’s coming home in a week and I’m so excited but brutally nervous. ‘Cause I know that she’s considered whether or not she’s asexual and that she broke up with her ex because they had no physical chemistry and I’m terrified that she’ll feel the same way with me… and like my very first kiss will be just blah or ew for the recipient and has anyone had that happen to them and how did you survive it? Especially if you’ve maybe already got a few hangups about feeling universally undesirable. And I’ll stop ranting into the void here but yeah, any older queermos wanna tell me it’ll be okay?

    • Thumb up 7

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      Aw. :)

      I don’t know whether it will work out with this particular person or not, but you are ultimately going to be okay. I didn’t kiss a girl until I was 24 either, and now I’m practically a professional queer online?

      My advice is not to put too much pressure on you and this one person, even though they seem really wonderful. If it doesn’t work out, something else will. You’ve got plenty of time ahead of you to figure things out and you’re gonna be fine.

    • Thumb up 5

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      It’s gonna be okay! Honestly, my first kiss was with my first girlfriend when I was 26, and I was so nervous!

      Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to tell this person (unless they already know) that you’re a kiss virgin. If they truly care about you, they won’t care, and it will help them understand where you’re coming from. And don’t put a ton of pressure on yourself if you’re not that great at first. Getting two people to just make out perfectly on command only happens in the movies. Communicate, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself :P

      And ditto to what Laura said. Maybe this girl will turn out to be the love of your life and you won’t ever have another first kiss, and that would be amazing! But maybe you guys won’t work out, and that’s okay too.

      And just to remind you again: Everything’s going to be okay :)

    • Thumb up 1

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      just relax dont overthink things
      and let her take the lead i had my first one with my current girlfriend at 14 and trust me its amazing it like when darwin the goldfish for a cartoon show gets kissed and he whispers “everything is so clear now”and if she holding hands,cuddling and kissing you on the cheek she is definitely attracted to you

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      OH MY GOSH. I feel like we’re in almost the exact same boat, except that like, I didn’t go on a date-date with my crush. But they have been gone for 3 months and will be back in 5 days. WOWEE ZOWEE. I’m worried that my crush doesn’t reciprocate my feelings.

  27. Thumb up 8

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    Posting a gif is too complicated for me. My girlfriend and I broke up two-three weeks ago (and she still lives with me in my dorm room) and everything I see, think, smell and touch when I’m not with her reminds me of her..

    So I’m thinking that scene from (500) days of Summer, where Tom hears a song on the bus that reminds him of Summer and yells “I HATE THIS SONG!”, and the driver asks him to get off the bus.
    I’m Tom, only I’m yelling in my head

  28. Thumb up 12

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    Because I always thought I was not that interested in a relationship except now it turns out I was kind of just not that interested in guys. Which is fine but now I’m contemplating how to deal with family/friends/my entire approach to dating (which previously was just opting out entirely). And it just feels a bit like my life got flipped on its head and I feel like I want to deal with it RIGHT NOW but also NEVER.

  29. Thumb up 3

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    So, I’m moving from Indiana to Colorado in 2 months for grad school so I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Then back in February I started hanging out with this guy platonically and we kinda just fell in like and now we’re together all the time. We’re not going to do long distance so I don’t know what that means but he gives me this focused attention which makes my chest tighten and smiling inevitable. He’s great.
    I tried to make a gif from this video of him dancing but I couldn’t get it to work.
    His dancing is kind of how he makes me feel.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hDLQj_BqGuA

  30. Thumb up 2

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    KITTENS! My sister’s kitty is pregnant. Also, a family friend dropped off a kitten at my house today. I’m really happy about it. She doesn’t have a name yet.

    As for my relationship status? It’s all kind of false. More complicated than that because emotions, but it’s not really a relationship as much as it is roommates who have sex sometimes and share a child.

    Due to my passive aggressive nature, the fighting is at a minimum. That doesn’t necessarily mean we’re not angry with each other, it just means we’re not talking about it.

  31. Thumb up 6

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    Trans woman, started HRT, for the first time I feel like an actual human being and the previous facade is melting away. My bi wife of 14 years is not attracted to me as a woman. We spent a year trying to work through it but we can’t.

    Relationship ending, moving on, dying a little inside..

  32. Thumb up 12

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    This is so scary, nerve-wracking, horrible and amazing. Still not sure whether I’m gonna break my fragile heart or create something special. But I think Ellen Page as Juno represents my feelings quite well.

  33. Thumb up 2

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    Anyone has an appropriate gif for “Desperately in love with my best friend, who also likes me very much and is very touchy, cuddly and occasionally kissy, but who is not interested in girls enough to actually date one”? Cause I’m coming up short…

  34. Thumb up 4

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    So late to this thread, but…


    just doing my thing, but there’s a sweet puppy boy who’s chasing along too and I’m not sure what to do with that, (plus re-evaluations of identity and sexuality and all that good stuff), while also…


    being distracted by EVERYBODY else.

  35. Thumb up 1

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    I’m falling for a gender neutral person, and I will get to see them for the first time in 3 months in about 5 days. I miss them SO much, and they probably aren’t attracted to me as more than a friend so I feel like I’m going to say or do something super silly and lose them as a friend too because maybe they don’t like me back. AHHHH! #foreveralone

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