Well hello there weary traveller! It’s been a long haul but here we are, all together again, under umbrellas and tents we made before the sun went down. And stars! Don’t forget that we’re always under the same stars. I’ve missed you. Have you missed giving advice to strangers on the internet? It would seem that you have, because you’ve emailed us and sent in Formspring statements-not-questions saying as much. In this great land of Ask And Ye Usually Receive, aka Autostraddle, we aim to please, so it’s with great pride and humble love that I bring you this week’s Formspring Friday!
For the uninitiated, Formspring Friday is where queerdos just like you leave questions in the Formspring inboxes of Autostraddle editors and we, in turn, present them to the grand readership for answers. There’s lots to think about today. Lots of feelings. I’ve marked two of these questions with ** to act as a trigger warning (rape, self-harm). If you have a life question you’d like to submit, see the bottom of this post for more info re: that.
17 Formspring Questions For You To Answer
1. How can I ask my new friend out in a way that isn’t dismissive of our budding pal-ship? And won’t cause weird awkward feelings?
2. So I’m finally home. It’s been a whole month since I came back from my exchange program and I’m not doing ok I miss my gf (should I say ex already?) and I miss my life in general. I already got a job here and I promise I’m doing my best but I’m in pain. Help?
3. I just started seeing this girl and she’s lovely and we get along so well, but she keeps her nails very long. Don’t get me wrong they look beautiful but fahk those things hurt! How do I ask her to trim her nails gently without embarrassing her?
4. Is it ok to be offended when someone tells me I look gay?
5. I’m not a-sexual, after three years of celibacy/debate I got just drunk enough to approach another person for physical contact and it rocked, but how can I do this in a healthy “I know your last name and will speak to you again” kind of way?
6. It’s been three years. I should be over her. But I want to call her and tell her that I’m sorry and that I just need her back. It’s like I start to wonder if this was the thing to do, ya know?
7. So right now I could 1.) move to California which would be a pain and scary but ultimately great 2.) get back with the ex and move to Cali later and be more financial stable in love+ life 3.) do nothing and stay sad on the east coast. Help?
**8. Recently one of my closest friends started hooking up with a girl she knew I was really into and I was raped at a show and I lost my job and can’t pay my rent and will probably get kicked out. I really want to talk to her about all of this, but is it emotional blackmail to say that there is no worse time in my life for her to have done this to me, and am I a child for feeling hurt?
9. I talked to my mom the other day and she sounded so sad again. I’m beginning to think that I made a mistake by going out of state for college. How can I help her when I’m on the other side of the country?
10. Any advice to getting over my anxiety and responding to OkCupid messages?
11. Girl I am kindamaybe interested in professed her like for me yesterday. However, I am leaving for a three month jaunt in Europe in a few weeks. What do I do?
12. The girl I was casually seeing and having a good time with just told me she likes me too much to keep doing a causal thing but also cannot be in a relationship. What the hell do I say to that?
13. When’s the right time to have the talk about seeing other people vs just each other? REALLY like her and it makes my heart hurt to think about her seeing someone else right now but don’t want to sound too eager since it’s relatively new.
14. I’m in love with a 31 y/o and I’m 21. We’re matched so well and my parents really like her, but don’t know how old she is. We met in a job where age wasn’t really a noticeable factor, so it didn’t matter much. I’m worried to tell them but feel like I must.
**15. I have some pretty bad, fairly recent self-injury marks. Is this something I should tell my girlfriend about before having sex with her? I don’t know how to explain it without freaking her out, but there’s no way I can be naked and hide it.
16. How do you know if you are just going through a stage of being annoyed with each other and a bit disrespectful, and when it is time for you to break up?
To send your question via Formspring, choose an editor:
More writers’ Formsprings can be found on Autostraddle’s tumblr presence. Due to the high volume of questions and feelings, not every question or feeling will be answered or published on Autostraddle. We hope you know that we love you regardless.