As a MA resident, I’m lucky enough to be able to say that gay marriage was legal before I ever even had a girlfriend. I never worried about whether I would be allowed to get married someday if I wanted to (…though I don’t). Until last year, I really took that shit for granted. State lines were rose colored glasses and naive as I was, I just thought it was a matter of time that other states jumped on Massachusetts’ band wagon. It’s been like… forever since gay marriage was legalized here and we’re alive. We’re fine. The Red Sox won the World Series that year (for the first time since 1918). The Patriots won the super bowl the following year. How could people say or think same sex marriage is like this totally terrible, catastrophic, fire and brimstone kind of deal when they’ve got MA to look at as a case study? When Prop 8 passed, I was completely shocked. After all the mobilization and anger and sadness that came out of that- I didn’t think Maine would go the same way.

This was a year of awesome milestones for equality, with more LGBTQ activists each day. So many people in MA (myself included) gave up Saturdays to canvas, I convinced my ME friends to put in the effort to vote. I didn’t want this to happen again. Even if my ‘ex’ is a raging cunt and I hate her fucking guts, I didn’t want her mom and step mom to have to live in a state where their marriage wasn’t valid. I was hopeful. And then this happened again. I’m sad and I’m hurt and I’m pissed off and I’m angry. But I’m not disheartened and I hope no one else is. It’s not over.

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I’m reading over the responses and I feel Lucia said it well — feelings and tension are high and it wasn’t the right time or place to expect every answer to be totally clear. But I actually think most of the responses you got were remarkably coherent and informative.
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But I’d also like you to consider the fact that actually thinking that asking other human beings to explain to you why marrying their girlfriends is not the same as marrying their golden retriever is incredibly offensive and suggests a presumption that we are, in some way, less than human. You put the burden of proof on us to explain why we deserve human rights.
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I can’t imagine asking you, or anyone, to explain to me why they deserve equal rights. I think it’s sad that we live in a world where someone can ask those questions and not realize how inherently offensive they are, or be shocked that such questions are categorized as bigotry.
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I think there are a lot of reasonable answers provided here to your questions. But please give us the benefit of the doubt that the questions you began with are, indeed, slurs in and of themselves. We are tired, and hurt, and offended by 53% of Maine. Consider walking a mile in our shoes.
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We don’t have very many safe spaces, Kevin. For a lot of the women here, they have to bite their tongue all day and get ganged up on, insulted, and made to feel less than human by people they can’t talk back to. So forgive those people who didn’t offer reason.
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I hope you take Lucia’s most recent comment to heart and that we’ve made you think about these issues, and the hurt behind them.
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Despite a litany of reasonable answers, you never once gave us the benefit of the doubt. All we ask of you is the benefit of the doubt. In return, we give it to you.
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Best of everything to you, Kevin.
-Riese-

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