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Enter the Stone Zone

Laneia

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via GOOD magazine via beth hoeckel

Laneia's Team Pick:

It's not even that I smoke pot, really. I think I just have an affinity for stoner culture -- that rare level of honesty, curiosity and self-awareness that smokers bring to the table. So Tess Lynch's column, High Minded, is especially lovely.

I felt really conflicted, as a former D.A.R.E. ad sponge, about pressing publish on a post that contained the phrase “I smoke pot.”

[...]But I also know from experience that being a stoner doesn’t mean smoking pot all day every day, forgetting which side your gas tank nozzle is on and spilling bong water onto a pleather sofa in an already-dank basement. Being a stoner is simply the experimental acceptance of one idea: There’s nothing wrong with being stoned.

In The Perfect TV Commercials For Stoners, Tess points out some products whose advertising hasn't tapped into the rapt stoner market and pitches some ad ideas of her own. I feel like I could play this game all day.

Soup. This one takes place in a bomb shelter. We have a young family, shivering and miserable but with good hair, nearing the end of their rations. A baby is coughing on the dusty floor. Someone cries, “I don’t think we’ll live! Everything has expired, and now so will we!” Someone else digs up a dusty can of soup, and we watch each family member slowly sip his allotted tablespoon. As we fade out, a drop of soup falls to the floor. Everyone bursts into tears.

I don't know, this just seemed like a thing you'd like.

11 responses to “Enter the Stone Zone”

  1. Maddie

    I thought this was going to be a recipe. And I was expecting it to be about as delicious as Hagrid’s rock cakes.

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  2. Paloma

    You guys, remember when Pot Psychology (an advice column done by two people who’d get stoned before giving advice) used to be a regular item on Jezebel ?

    http://jezebel.com/pot-psychology

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    1. kdizzle

      That was the only reason I ever visited Jezebel for a very long time. *sniff* I miss Rich and Tracy.

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    2. Saphaddle

      Pot Psychology was so funny! I wonder why they discontinued it..

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  3. nena

    I thought the writing was eloquently distant.

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  4. idotry

    I like this.

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  5. bookbound

    Oh wow. I’m not even stoned and this made me actually laugh out loud: “I’m talking Triscuits. I’m talking sharp cheddar. I’m talking Reese’s peanut butter cups and the realization that, no, they are not out of place. They’re right where they belong. A ramekin of Skittles, some toast, holler at me quince paste. I call it a cheese plate, but it also answers to the “everything in your fridge” plate.”

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  6. samiam

    “It’s not even that I smoke pot, really. I think I just have an affinity for stoner culture — that rare level of honesty, curiosity and self-awareness that smokers bring to the table.”

    Agreed. Thanks for that.

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  7. kd15

    Is it not normal to not be able to remember which side the gas tank nozzle is on? Cause I can never remember and have to check every time I go to the gas station.

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    1. chrissie riot

      No, that’s totally normal.

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  8. sheena

    dude stoners are the perfect demographic for commercials. true story, three friends and i finished smoking and we move to the tv turn it on and that baskin robins commercial plays the one where it just screams ice cream and cake forever really loud not one word was said stoner telepathy just kicked in we all just got up went to the car and headed to baskin robins best night ever!!!!

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