This hasn’t happened to my girlfriend and I, but then we haven’t much integrated into what little lesbian/general GLBT culture there is in Calgary. The closest I can come to your experience is having a lesbian waitress realize that we’re holding hands in the vegan restaurant and perk up as if life is a little better, which was kind of awesome, actually.

But… I can imagine that it’s a weird thing to experience! I think that it’s a little less due to internalized homophobia and more because as a minority, (usually invisible until the hand-holding begins, or the tell-tale fashion items are clued in on,) we — or at least I — are always on the lookout. People stare, and we kind of get used to it, so we stare back to make sure that all of that staring is the usual slack-jawed ‘wait, something is different,’ and not the sort that means, ‘that hand-holdin’s about to get you into trouble!’ And seeing other people who are in the exact same boat as us, it’s weird. It’s when we go from being the ogglees to the ogglers that that sense of “wait… we’re not alone?!” kind of surfaces, and because that happens relatively rarely, (at least where I’m from!) there’s little chance for us to process that feeling. Not knowing what to make of it of course can lead to some iffy feelings of suddenly not knowing where we stand.

I’d say, just make the best of it. Smile and nod and move on, or make friends, I s’pose.

Also, regarding high-falutin’ soundin’ gibber-jabber, my favourite is sesquipedalian loquaciousness… though it’s not so much academic as it is self-referential and incredibly nerdy.

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“the no-nonsense fear of impending carpal tunnel syndrome” made me laugh out loud.

Anyway, I totally get the weirdness that comes with being in a “lesbo-heavy ‘hood’”. I can’t quite articulate why though. I’ll have to ponder on this more or take notes when it happens.

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But your article reminded me of a phrase used in a Flannery O’ Connor story; “Everything that rises must converge”. In it an old white woman from a good family who finds herself living in a neighborhood that has slipped from upper crust to lower middle class worries that, when she goes out, she will “meet herself coming and going.”
She decides it is better to take a fashion risk than face this phenomena. It is a plot point in the story that, while she is having a very racist conversation on the bus, she turns around and sees a black woman wearing the exact same hideous hat.
I think there is some connection between the idea of “meeting yourself coming and going” in that story and some of your concerns in your post. I won’t drag out the entire meaning of the story but I would recommend having a look.

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and why dont we ever like acknowledge each other in public???

sometimes i wanna go around hi fiving all the lesbos i see and be like “yyeaaahhhh girl whats up??? thats right i like pussy too! give me five on the back hand side.””

This got me thinking seriously about making eye contact with and dyke-nodding every lesbian I see.

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