This is a great time to release those old, dead stories about needing to be perfect to deserve being loved. This is a perfect time to remember that you get to make new choices about the present moment, free of attachment to the past or fear of the future.
It’s almost impossible to master while grieving. When that grief turns into a depression, is it even M/s anymore?
I’ve worked hard to hold onto my independence, and here I was giving it up — to someone more dominant and more masculine. My feminist ancestors didn’t burn their bras for this. Except what if they did?
“First comes Twitter, then comes Snapchat, then comes texting nudes to a complete and total stranger.” Patty-cake to that one, kiddos.
Giving orders is more than the words coming out of my mouth. It’s the tone of voice I use, the eye contact, the confidence, the ease with which I speak.
“…there’s a value in extending the period of time in which the way you build a life together is directed only by what’s in your heart and guts and brain, not by leases and legal documents and bill payments and shared sofas.”
Being in little space doesn’t feel like being a child again. It feels more freeing than my childhood ever was, and like something completely different.
Sometimes you need to get outside and remember who you are and who you want to be. These are the sex toys to bring with you.
The possibility of finding our kink community gave me the courage to take another deep breath and open the door.
“New Moons are often a time for planting seeds and quiet reflection, but that with all that fire energy, expect this time to feel more erotically charged, more restless, and more externally focused. Use that fire energy wisely!”
“I cannot wait to have a partner with whom I can explore consensual non-consent in a 24/7 lifestyle. But to be called a slave? In America?”
“Master and slave — in consensual, intentional contexts — are the precise words for the cravings I have in my heart and gut to own, control, protect and nurture my partner.”
Be a Taurus. If that’s not your sign, figure out how for it to be your sign.
Sarah and I talked a lot about power in our relationship — who had it, who felt it, how it flowed between us. It wasn’t always smooth.
“Call your heart back. Gather yourself back into the warmth of your deepest loves. Find out what you need to feel safer, to know that we have your back, that we will do our best to keep you with us.”
Submitting is a weird dichotomy of knowing exactly what you want but putting someone else in control of giving it to you.
We started to turn the top/bottom dynamics in our sex life into 24/7 dominance/submission. It was highly negotiated, mutually consensual, and extremely hot.
For the disabled among us, meet-cutes and the events that follow aren’t so simple to orchestrate. Need a refresher on the rules of engagement? There’s no need to go it alone!
“I was on my ninth cigarette when the dom about to give me the most affirming experience I’d had as a sub came to stand next to me.”
Spend time alone and exalt in your own company. Make your own decisions and order your own dinner and dream your own dreams.