“I was angry. Really fucking angry. Angry because Jenny Schecter was right.”
I finally feel safe enough to imagine the big queer family I never had. A home where gender is an option, not an obligation, where parents can apologize to each other as well as to their kids and where long, ongoing conversations about race, power and privilege exist.
“Netflix is kinda like my fag hag, the kind that wraps you up in a warm rainbow blanket with a bowl of soup when you’re recovering from a Cinco de Mayo hangover.”
How do I move past only feeling Native based on whether I fish or know the traditional ways? How can I push past feeling like my queer identity is tied to how much I listen to Uh Huh Her?
I imagine myself as not myself, at my grandparents’ apartment this Christmas, wearing makeup, a women’s blouse, long hair combed to the middle of my back: What he thought I would grow up to be, what my mom thought I would grow up to be.
“I have always been a traveler, particularly as an immigrant and as a person with family hailing from Venezuela to Dominica to South India, ‘home’, ‘family’ and ‘belonging’ have always been complicated concepts.”
I’ve been afraid to do so many things. This year, thanks to Autostraddle, I looked those fears in the eye, took action and started living my life the way I want to live it.
“Sometimes, when you’re in the business of parenting, you have to phone a friend for a bit of perspective and advice. Sometimes, you have to phone more than one.”
In 2013, who’d have ever thought I’d become so attached to a sociopathic meth king? Also, I love my skinny jeans and feel really conflicted about Pope Francis.
I’m flying to Canada today so this seemed like a good opportunity to think about all the other times I’ve been to other parts of Canada!
“When the doctor said that such and such a treatment was linked to health problems later in life, I didn’t even blink. I’ll hit 50 and keel over? Fine, I don’t care, get rid of these fucking pimples.”
Did you once kill a wasp with your bare hands so it wouldn’t sting your daughter? Did you raise a thriving family in a homophobic community? Was there some seemingly insignificant moment that was anything but which made you realize that you were unstoppable in your own unique way? We want to hear about it!
“Marriage is like a chlorinated community pool that we now get access to. I think that people forget that queers have been swimming in the ocean the whole time.”
This is an essay about leaving everything behind, and I don’t know where to start because part of what that means is that I am leaving you.
La Virgen de Guadalupe has always been dear in my heart and always will be, but the way I view her has changed throughout the years, through various lenses with different interpretations, including now as a queer woman.
“It’s so easy to yearn and ache for people to fill the space surrounding you, but it’s so difficult to find those who can do so in a way that doesn’t immediately consume all your hard-won oxygen and freedom.”
“Form-fitting feels different than tailored and my form is something I’m super protective of — so why the fuck did I decide to wear leggings today?”
What do you do when you see queer kids making out in the street? When and where is PDA okay for queer people? Who gets to decide when it’s okay or inappropriate?
My partner and I often navigate the more challenging aspects of our relationship, and lives, using the language of “imagine.” For me, and presumably for her, the word itself feels better, carries less weight than perhaps, “hoped” or “wanted.”
“It’s like you’re so good at your weird, low-cost lifestyle, but you know nothing about the real world.”