I’ve been afraid to do so many things. This year, thanks to Autostraddle, I looked those fears in the eye, took action and started living my life the way I want to live it.
“Sometimes, when you’re in the business of parenting, you have to phone a friend for a bit of perspective and advice. Sometimes, you have to phone more than one.”
In 2013, who’d have ever thought I’d become so attached to a sociopathic meth king? Also, I love my skinny jeans and feel really conflicted about Pope Francis.
I’m flying to Canada today so this seemed like a good opportunity to think about all the other times I’ve been to other parts of Canada!
“When the doctor said that such and such a treatment was linked to health problems later in life, I didn’t even blink. I’ll hit 50 and keel over? Fine, I don’t care, get rid of these fucking pimples.”
Did you once kill a wasp with your bare hands so it wouldn’t sting your daughter? Did you raise a thriving family in a homophobic community? Was there some seemingly insignificant moment that was anything but which made you realize that you were unstoppable in your own unique way? We want to hear about it!
“Marriage is like a chlorinated community pool that we now get access to. I think that people forget that queers have been swimming in the ocean the whole time.”
This is an essay about leaving everything behind, and I don’t know where to start because part of what that means is that I am leaving you.
La Virgen de Guadalupe has always been dear in my heart and always will be, but the way I view her has changed throughout the years, through various lenses with different interpretations, including now as a queer woman.
“It’s so easy to yearn and ache for people to fill the space surrounding you, but it’s so difficult to find those who can do so in a way that doesn’t immediately consume all your hard-won oxygen and freedom.”
“Form-fitting feels different than tailored and my form is something I’m super protective of — so why the fuck did I decide to wear leggings today?”
What do you do when you see queer kids making out in the street? When and where is PDA okay for queer people? Who gets to decide when it’s okay or inappropriate?
My partner and I often navigate the more challenging aspects of our relationship, and lives, using the language of “imagine.” For me, and presumably for her, the word itself feels better, carries less weight than perhaps, “hoped” or “wanted.”
“It’s like you’re so good at your weird, low-cost lifestyle, but you know nothing about the real world.”
I am not crazy; I am simply black, and queer, and butch, and transcultural, and therefore alone.
She didn’t say “I have suspected this for years and I still love you.” It went more like a Scared Straight kind of thing but instead of scaring me about drugs and a life of crime, she wanted to scare me straight, straight. “Just Say No to Lesbianism” straight.
Intersex and queer identities sometimes match up in ways that we’re familiar with and that conform to our understanding of how these identities are commonly defined. Other times they don’t.
I shall list them in order of least to most awful.
Brew a pot of your favorite flavor, grab some biscuits, put on your fancy hat and gloves, and let’s talk about how much we fucking love tea.
I wondered what more could be done. I knew that I didn’t have the answer, but what I could do is say goodbye. This video is a tribute and a statement from us, the survivors.