Thank you for writing all that you have here. It has helped me, but I never decided to comment before because I would have been reiterating what other people said over and over again redundantly about the articles’ excellence. If you need to stop for your own health, please do so–you as a person are more important than your writing (unless, I mean, you think otherwise).

As for making space for other voices:

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.”

That was Marianne Williamson, who had lots of privilege and didn’t acknowledge oppression in many ways, but in this space I think it has truth. The internet has a fair bit of space–and if people want to read a different perspective, they will. The fact that you actively look for people who are more marginalized than you makes me doubt that you would be doing anything besides giving others a place to start from. That said, the universe has been ridiculously unfair in my favor–I’m able-bodied, white, and generally well-off–so take that into account.

Also, I would really like to see a collection of other sources of writing about butches (and other genders/identity groups/I don’t know the pc language that I should use here but wish I did). There is a lot of presupposed knowledge that is bandied about on this site, and it would be helpful to rookies and non-women’s, gender, and sexuality studies majors if there were a page with “the classics” to read. Even if they are only classics because everyone disagrees with them now, it’s really helpful to at least know the titles. And while older folks may not write for free, many have written things that are accessible. Whether they are public domain or places to buy them, I’d like to see that.

Also: while making space for those who do not fit a mold is of utmost importance, please do not ignore the celebration that comes when for frakking once we find a label that we can champion. I am a butch and the sense of belonging and pride I get from that burns fiercely enough to make every bad thing that comes with non-normativity worth it. If I ever put someone down for not belonging, please punch me in the face–but I will not belittle the importance of community with those who resonate along the same wavelength as me.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for putting up with me. And again, thank you for all you have done already.

DFTBA,
Bear

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I have to agree that I’m 100% behind any parenting articles Laneia wants to write. I always enjoy them and I’m not particularly in the place where I’m ready to have kids (25, in grad school). So there’s that. And I do enjoy the relateable to everyone things actually basically I agree with pretty much everything mkr just said. Thumbs up.

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those who don’t feel aligned with the butch, femme, etc. identities often feel excluded or peripheral. As though, they are not as well defined as individuals.

It seems as though we are on a never-ending search to further distill our identities. the more we can figure out exactly who/what we are, the more that can be reinforced by finding other people that are like us. We turn to others to define ourselves.

i understand this inclination, and see in manifest itself in my own life and connection with others. i don’t have any sort of lesson or advice around any of this, but i have certainly been thinking a lot about it.

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