BREAKING: Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli Are Lesbianing Together

Today, deeply embedded and highly confidential yet incredibly trusted inside sources within the Autostraddle network have secretly confirmed a story currently fingerblasting from the newsdesks of the hard-working and undoubtedly honest journalists of The Daily Mail: Orange is the New Black actress Samira Wiley and Orange is the New Black writer Lauren Morelli are A Thing.

lesbianing

“They are believed to have been dating each other for the past six months,” reported The Daily Mail in the passive voice. “But on Monday evening Orange Is The New Black actress Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli (who is a writer on the show) took their rumoured relationship into the spotlight as they left Chateau Marmont together hand-in-hand.”

We’d like to show you an actual photograph of this situation but don’t want to be threatened with a multi-thousand-dollar lawsuit like we were the last time we used photographs from The Daily Mail that didn’t belong to us because we can’t afford to buy those photographs because we are a poor queer independent media property. Luckily, I have a personal Intern who made this faithful representation of the event for you:

via-the-daily-mail

graphic by intern grace

Lauren’s instagram also reveals the twosome giving great face en route to the ceremony.

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We woke up like this, poreless

In a May 2014 essay for Mic.com, Lauren revealed that she realized she was gay while writing Orange is the New Black, a revelation that did not surprise the thousands of women who realized they were gay while watching Orange is the New Black. (Television is a key element of the lesbian recruitment agenda.) Lauren wrote, “I went through it all on set: I fell in love with a woman, and I watched my life play out on screen. And now, as we are gearing up for the release of season 2, it feels liberating and appropriate to live my life in front of you.”

Friendly friends

Lauren and Samira enjoy a blossoming friendship during OITNB Season One

“The pair certainly haven’t kept their relationship a secret, both posting intimate selfies of one another on their respective Instagram accounts,” reported The Daily Mail breathily. Specific intimate selfies cited include “a picture of Samira grinning behind a tray of oysters on what appeared to be a romantic dinner date.”

This is how lesbians have sex

This is how lesbians have sex

Another cited intimate selfie is described by The Daily Mail like so: “Lauren added another picture in May, which showed Samira lovingly kissing her head as they celebrated her birthday.”

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Believe it or not, this kiss isn’t the only present Lauren received that day

Also, Samira Wiley Enthusiast and Autostraddle Associate Editor Yvonne Marquez has noted of the following photograph, “this is clearly lauren’s dog.”

poussey w/puppy

poussey/puppy

The two women were captured wearing fancy outfits and being cuddly in public on August 23rd at the Variety and Women In Film Emmy Nominee Celebration Powered by Samsung Galaxy, along with a plethora of talented and brilliant humans you might have strong feelings for:

In addition to all of the captivating information we’ve already shared with you, we must add that on Instagram, Lauren Morelli cited her day at New York City Pride to be “one of the best days of her life.” This speaks to the incredible power of lesbian love and the cast of Orange is the New Black to overcome sweltering heat and the aggressive marketing of Bud Light to unsuspecting homosexuals.

WHOOOOOOOO

WHOOOOOOOO

In the following instagram photograph, captioned as “chilling w/Lo,” Samira and Lauren express a tender and cheerful intimacy reminiscent of that time I called my straight best friend “Lo” even though her name was “Lauren” and sometimes we had sex. Unlike me and my Lo, however, Samira and her Lo are actual girlfriends, which’s a much healthier situation and I’d highly recommend going that route rather than the sleeping-with-your-straight-best-friend route. This is me looking out for you, young lezzers of America. This is the work we do here.

hahaha we're cute lesbians with puppies we win all the things lol

The puppy was determined to make a name for itself in the world of adorable lesbian modeling and refused to be shut out of any potential opportunities to be seen

In conclusion, it is safe to assume that Lauren Morelli has succeeded in fulfilling the need Samira Wiley announced nearly a mere year ago, for a “boo” to “keep [her] lil’ ass warm.” Furthermore, look at how hot and brilliant everybody in this picture is:

#yesalloitnbcharcters

This is my kind of Modern Family, y’all

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Riese is the 32-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1744 articles for us.

71 Comments

  1. Thumb up 36

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    I don’t want this gem to be lost in the excitement of this news though: “I’d highly recommend going that route rather than the sleeping-with-your-straight-best-friend route. This is me looking out for you, young lezzers of America. This is the work we do here.”

  2. Thumb up 9

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    Well, comparing side by side, your Samelli doodle (sorry) is totally better than all of the DM photos except maybe the second one, where at first glance it looks like Lauren is reaching round the front (also sorry).

    Incidentally, chocolate and vanilla swirl is one of my favourite moments of all of OITNB, but this is doubtless a horribly inappropriate moment to mention that. (So much sorry.)

    Vinnie you’re drahnk, go home. (I am sober.)

  3. Thumb up 37

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    Also: “I went through it all on set: I fell in love with a woman, and I watched my life play out on screen.”

    CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE. OF COURSE SHE REALIZED SHE WAS GAY AFTER MEETING SAMIRA WILEY. WHO WOULDN’T. Oh my gosh, I am obsessed with the two of them! xoxoxoxoxo

  4. Thumb up 10

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    This is probably the cutest thing to happen ever. I was at an amusement park yesterday and they had TVs in line. And while waiting for a roller coaster, this paypal commercial w/ Samira Wiley comes on and I had to restrain myself from screaming “MY BOO!” in a crowd of strangers. I’m glad these beautiful queers are together and blessing us with pictures of their adorable faces doing adorable gay things like eat oysters and cuddle dogs and attend Pride.

    Also, while I read this my family is playing yahtzee so I keep hearing them talking about how they have their “small straights” and I’m giggling imagining an army of queers with little straight children they bought at the straight store. I am now going to lovingly refer to my heterosexual friends as “mu small straights”.
    …I think my brain is fried because of this news. Autostraddle really knows what stories I want to read. Thank you again AS for being the best site ever.

  5. Thumb up 10

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    So, I might be a creeper. But on the tail of this breaking news I was on Instagram and noticed something extremely adorable on Lea Delaria’s feed.

    http://instagram.com/p/sKpFWsRyRe/?modal=true

    YES. You have seen correctly. That is Lauren Morelli fixing Samira Wiley’s makeup off to the right hand side of the picture. This is a job relegated often to one’s girlfriend when lesbianing together.

    Like I said, creeper status. But at least I’m a creeper of cuteness!

  6. Thumb up 4

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    AGhhhhh!!! I am SO HAPPY for the both of them! For everyone. Although I admit to getting envious when I see a happy lesbian couple, that envy is totally cancelled out by the surge of hope I receive. Hope that I can be in a relationship like that too! :D

  7. Thumb up 11

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    I am so happy. I could only be happier if it was me in the middle of them like some lesbian ice cream sandwich.

    Also, Ellen Page and Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual have been hanging out a lot together in denim vests and beanies and button-ups, so I’m hoping they fall madly in love soon and announce said love to the world. I’m calling it now.

  8. Thumb up 1

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    Autostraddle, I read wayyyyy more than I comment (which I really need to fix, ‘cuz I love this site and everyone on here seems to be lovely), but why oh why do you look towards the Daily Mail for news/sources? Ask anyone of us who lives in the UK and we can tell you how horrible The Daily Mail is, it has a history of homophobic ‘reporting’, sexism and racism. It would be the equivalent of me running a blog and using Fox News as a reliable source. It’s not reliable and you are no doubt sending more traffic to them = more profit.

    AS, never stop being awesome. :)

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