Today, deeply embedded and highly confidential yet incredibly trusted inside sources within the Autostraddle network have secretly confirmed a story currently fingerblasting from the newsdesks of the hard-working and undoubtedly honest journalists of The Daily Mail: Orange is the New Black actress Samira Wiley and Orange is the New Black writer Lauren Morelli are A Thing.
“They are believed to have been dating each other for the past six months,” reported The Daily Mail in the passive voice. “But on Monday evening Orange Is The New Black actress Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli (who is a writer on the show) took their rumoured relationship into the spotlight as they left Chateau Marmont together hand-in-hand.”
We’d like to show you an actual photograph of this situation but don’t want to be threatened with a multi-thousand-dollar lawsuit like we were the last time we used photographs from The Daily Mail that didn’t belong to us because we can’t afford to buy those photographs because we are a poor queer independent media property. Luckily, I have a personal Intern who made this faithful representation of the event for you:
Lauren’s instagram also reveals the twosome giving great face en route to the ceremony.
In a May 2014 essay for Mic.com, Lauren revealed that she realized she was gay while writing Orange is the New Black, a revelation that did not surprise the thousands of women who realized they were gay while watching Orange is the New Black. (Television is a key element of the lesbian recruitment agenda.) Lauren wrote, “I went through it all on set: I fell in love with a woman, and I watched my life play out on screen. And now, as we are gearing up for the release of season 2, it feels liberating and appropriate to live my life in front of you.”
“The pair certainly haven’t kept their relationship a secret, both posting intimate selfies of one another on their respective Instagram accounts,” reported The Daily Mail breathily. Specific intimate selfies cited include “a picture of Samira grinning behind a tray of oysters on what appeared to be a romantic dinner date.”
Another cited intimate selfie is described by The Daily Mail like so: “Lauren added another picture in May, which showed Samira lovingly kissing her head as they celebrated her birthday.”
Also, Samira Wiley Enthusiast and Autostraddle Associate Editor Yvonne Marquez has noted of the following photograph, “this is clearly lauren’s dog.”
The two women were captured wearing fancy outfits and being cuddly in public on August 23rd at the Variety and Women In Film Emmy Nominee Celebration Powered by Samsung Galaxy, along with a plethora of talented and brilliant humans you might have strong feelings for:
In addition to all of the captivating information we’ve already shared with you, we must add that on Instagram, Lauren Morelli cited her day at New York City Pride to be “one of the best days of her life.” This speaks to the incredible power of lesbian love and the cast of Orange is the New Black to overcome sweltering heat and the aggressive marketing of Bud Light to unsuspecting homosexuals.
In the following instagram photograph, captioned as “chilling w/Lo,” Samira and Lauren express a tender and cheerful intimacy reminiscent of that time I called my straight best friend “Lo” even though her name was “Lauren” and sometimes we had sex. Unlike me and my Lo, however, Samira and her Lo are actual girlfriends, which’s a much healthier situation and I’d highly recommend going that route rather than the sleeping-with-your-straight-best-friend route. This is me looking out for you, young lezzers of America. This is the work we do here.
In conclusion, it is safe to assume that Lauren Morelli has succeeded in fulfilling the need Samira Wiley announced nearly a mere year ago, for a “boo” to “keep [her] lil’ ass warm.” Furthermore, look at how hot and brilliant everybody in this picture is: