“Big Brother Australia” Episode 101 Recap: Just The Lesbian Scenes

Did you watch the launch of Big Brother Australia on Monday night? No, me either. I was out at a concert but couldn’t escape entirely because everyone was live-tweeting the show like it’s a thing we all care about. But then I saw this tweet about one of the housemates and you know what? Suddenly I did care.

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I had a hunch that the ‘Tully’ in question would be Tully Smyth, a 25-year old queer girl from Sydney and occasional contributor to Autostraddle. Tully’s given you guidance on navigating social events with your ex and dating girls who are not totally out. She’s shared her feelings about how to most effectively share feelings, recapped her life via girls with guitars and given us some killer heartbreak jams. She’s even experienced the dizzying heights of the Autostraddle Hot 100 and hot 100 femme gallery.

In honour of these valuable contributions to our site, we’re gonna recap the first episode of this damn awful show. Tully scenes only. Deep breath. Let’s go.


This is Tully.

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Tully is a social media expert. We know this because in her video introduction she simultaneously juggles a MacBook and iPad while talking on her iPhone. A++ multi-tasking. It includes a shot of her logging into her Tumblr. Legit.

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Tully likes girls. We know this because she’s written for this website but also because we’re shown footage of her and her smokin’ hot girlfriend walking their cute dog through Newtown, of all places.

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It’s time for the show! After the introduction of many housemates who annoy me already, Tully joins BB host Sonia Kruger on stage for a chat. They start with the most obvious thing which is how hot they’re both looking. Tully quips that viewers should tweet “hashtag Sonia looks amazing tonight”, which feels a little long for a hashtag but I’m not the social media expert, so. Whatever. It’s funny, and the first time I’ve felt remotely entertained since this episode started five hours ago.

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There’s a twist! Tully needs to choose a key that will either grant her entry to the super plush Big Brother pad, or, a little shitty section of the house that’s fenced off like a prison cell. Tully’s key is for the halfway house.

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There’s no food or hot water, and the mattresses are all half-sized. Sucks for Tully because she’s 10 ft tall, give or take. She takes it all in her super sized stride, rolling on in like prison is NBD and panning that it all looks “amazing…ly bad”. Overall, she appears to have zero fucks re: this whole ‘twist’ thing. Somewhere a pissed producer is plotting her eviction.

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A super loud obnoxious toolbag named Tim enters the good side of the house and starts talking smack about the shitty side. Tully visibly hates him. We all visibly hate him. She “jokes” about wanting to punch him out but can’t because perspex.

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Tully (to Tim): “Do you even realise that you speak out loud?”

Tully stands around for a bit. She makes further observations about Sonia’s hotness. Everyone agrees that Sonia looked really beautiful tonight.

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Tully sits around for a bit. Tim says something stupid about a coconut tree, causing Tully to bust out with “UGH, that Tim guy!” real loud. I’m pretty sure if she keeps saying exactly what we’re all thinking then she’ll win. I think that’s how this show works.

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In the diary room, Tully reports on her first day and takes out the title of First Big Brother Housemate To Cry On National Television, 2013. No judgment. I think we all cried a little tonight.

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The end.

Really though, we do hope that Tully wins this thing. I’d encourage y’all to vote but honestly I’m not even sure if voting is an option.

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Crystal is Autostraddle's HR Director. She resides in Sydney, Australia, where she wears black clothing almost exclusively and listens to Green Day as enthusiastically as she did at 13.

Crystal has written 297 articles for us.

12 Comments

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      i couldn’t remember! and i couldn’t bring myself to recap with the sound on. i think it might have had something to do with the people on the nice side of the house being unsympathetic, maybe.

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    Is this still being recapped? I don’t know if you are aware of this:

    “Drew and Tully are House besties but are they more than ‘just friends’? The question on the Housemates’ lips of late is whether the pair are harbouring feelings for each other. And if so, are they playing with fire?”

    http://www.bigbrother.com.au/news/8714051/if-you-play-with-fire

    If you look at the “massage” pictures, it looks quite bad. That is if Tully still has that girlfriend.

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        Probably for the best. Tully and Drew said ‘I love yous’ on camera a couple of days ago then proceeded to hook-up under the blanket. Most likely not the first time since they have been sleeping on the same bed since almost day one. Oh, and Drew is a man. Tully also said that while everyone else get to have photos of their loved ones she can’t even look at her girlfriend’s photo. I feel sorry for Tully’s girlfriend… what a disrespect towards her.

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        Well, she cheats on her girlfriend with a man on TV and her girlfriend dumped her via Twitter (which Tully doesn’t know about and believes gf doesn’t mind).

        I really hate how it reinforces homophobic beliefs about lesbians (that they “just haven’t met the right guy” or could be “turned”).

        Another reason why to get mad when bisexuals identify as lesbians (seriously, check her AS account – she listed both “lesbian” and “bisexual” that apply, on her Tumbrl she mentioned attraction to boys, she was with men after she started to identify as lesbian, but of course to get into BB she pulled ‘Total Lesbian’ card).

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          She did something far worse earlier. She said that she didn’t give guys the time of day before but now she started noticing the boys since all the guys in the house are so charming and beautiful, and she started questioning if she’s 100% gay.

          Even though long time before entering this show she acknowledged that she’s into men as well, that she may date men in the future and she listed ‘bisexual’ (and ‘lesbian’) here on AS.

          So it’s quite clear she seeks attention by trying to make herself look like poor “lesbian turned by the right guy”, and it’s truly disgusting.

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