Autostraddle Hot 100 2012: The Hottest Queerest Women In All The Land

Welcome to the 2012 Autostraddle Hot 100, the best hottest contest in the history of hot contests! In 2009, we ranked things that were hot. In 2010 and 2011, we let you submit photos of yourself and/or another queer lady near/dear to your heart. This year, we went a more traditional route, similar to what lad rags like Maxim started and what AfterEllen.com re-interpreted. But whereas they invite their readers to vote for any hot lady they please, we didn’t want to bother with all those straight girls and invited you to vote for actual queer ladies.

Also, Ellen Page ranked #7 but we didn’t put her on this list because we didn’t want to get yelled at about how she’s not out and/or not definitely gay. Sorry!

So, this list reflects who YOU voted for, not who we would’ve picked ourselves to produce a valuable snapshot of the queer community.

So here’s who you voted for, ya weirdos!

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2012 Autostraddle Hot 100

(as voted on by the 1,000 weirdos who submitted ballots)

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100. AzMarie Livingston

Model & TV Personality

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99. Tabatha Coffey

TV Personality

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98. Kate Cooper

Musician, An Horse

[autostraddle interview]

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97. Kaki King

Guitarist & Composer

[autostraddle interview]

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96. Abisha Uhl

Musician, Sick of Sarah

[autostraddle interview]

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95. Kristin Russo

Co-Creator, Everyoneisgay.com

photo by Corey Hayes

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94. Lily Ye

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93. Rose Garcia

TV Personality, The Real L Word

 

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92. Otep Shamaya

Singer-Songwriter

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91. Allison Weiss

Singer-Songwriter

[autostraddle interview]

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255 Comments

  1. Thumb up 0

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    So I deliberately didn’t vote for some of the people I knew were going to be really high on the list and GUESS WHAT MADDOW STILL WON. You were there in my heart Maddow. I just knew everyone else was voting for you. :)

    Also, Riese, there’s no non creepy way to say this so I’m just gonna say DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.

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        Hi, I’m sorry, I’m an intern, and that was my typo and my fault. My mistake is completely unrelated to you being trans* and was really just an honest mistake. It should be all fixed now! Again, I am really sorry. (Also, Annika is trans* and #69 on the list.)

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          it’s cool. what’s actually distressing is that there are only two trans women on a list of ONE HUNDRED desirable queer women.

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          Actually only about 0.2% of the general population is trans* and only about 2/3 of them identify as queer and if roughly 5% of the population identify as queer than that means that roughly 2 out of every 100 queer women should also be trans*. Which makes this list remarkably Representative. Though my statistics could be off.

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          That is the estimate I’ve heard, but I believe it was a a conservative estimate and limited to binary identified trans people.

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          hey i think me and Vega might be the only puerto ricans on the list. it’s all the little pieces that make the puzzle so fucking sexy, girl.
          and i mean this list is white as hell but so is the world and maaaan, i’m just so proud that this list exists so other little queermos can see that we are here, all of us.

          YOP my ninja, YOP.

          horton heard the whos. let the little queermos see and hear us.

  2. Thumb up 0

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    Great List!

    For the record- if Queen Latifah and Lady GaGa are on the list, then Brandy Howard should get to be somewhere on there (and I should be higher than 50:-)

    love u guys!

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    I feel so honored to have been in the same room with at least 5 of these lovely ladies just two weeks ago. Also very happy to see Abby Wambach and Cat Cora on the list.

    And whoever decided to take that picture of Sarah Croce… Brilliant.

  4. Thumb up 3

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    I get the excitement about Rachel Maddow, but I think you guys completely forgot about another awesome Rachel.
    What about Rachel Kincaid? She’s super cute, intelligent and has written a lot of great articles. Also she’s a teacher now which makes her even more Crushworthy :)

  5. Thumb up 0

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    I just got home from my last day of student teaching during which all of my freshmen made and signed a card for me, and one of them drew my wrist and neck tattoos on herself with marker. This obviously very dusty card is making my eyes all watery…and THEN I GET HOME TO SEE THE HOT 100 IS POSTED.

    The moral of this story: happy tears and sexy feelings are confusing to have at the same time.

  6. Thumb up 0

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    This list is solid. Everyone is so cute/beautiful/sexy/great!

    Funny story… I asked Allison Weiss out once on OKC. (I doubt she would even remember.) It didn’t work out so well, but hey, I’ve been in a strong relationship for two years now… heh heh ;)

  7. Thumb up 0

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    I feel like whenever I see a new picture of Intern Grace she is inexplicably cuter than she was in the last picture. I mean, she already starts out with a healthy amount of cute, but then somehow she just gets CUTER.

  8. Thumb up 1

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    who submitted these people for voting? Tons are total unknowns and not that hot!! What about people like :

    Kerri Piper who’s insanely HOT and a producer musician http://www.facebook.com/kerri.piper.9

    Jillian Michaels http://www.facebook.com/jillianmichaels who’s very HOT and just had two babies with her female partner

    or how about Amber Heard! Unbelievably HOT!

    Sally Hershberger

    Kristanna Loken

    Yaya Kosikova http://www.facebook.com/Kosikova.Yaya?ref=ts

    Eve Salvail who’s a gorgeous supermodel DJ in NYC!!

    this list goes on

    Who ARE most of these people on your list? Seems to be a lot of autostraddle staff and people that have done interviews. And those tired chicks from TRLW ….Really? Ew. Let’s get some real stuff up in here.

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      Hotness is subjective. Maybe you don’t find some of the people on the list hot but plenty of other people do. AS readers submitted their lists of ten hottest queer women and the hot 100 was taken from there I think.

      Also, some of the people you list as hot are actually on the list (Amber Heard, Kristanna Loken). I have never heard of most of the other people though. Does that make them “total unknowns”?

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      about three weeks ago, everyone was asked to vote for 10 queer ladies they thought were hot. about 1,000 people voted. some of the people on this list asked their friends or followers to vote for them, that’s why there are a lot of people on this list that you’ve maybe never heard of. we tallied the votes and then made the list based on who got the most votes. that was the whole process — we didn’t meddle with it at all, these are the results of the voting.

      also, as aforementioned, kristanna loken and amber heard are on the list. actually kristanna loken was the only femmey girl i personally voted for, SO.

  9. Thumb up 0

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    I am glad to see team autostraddle all through out the list! (Especially that picture of Riese. Yes girl.) I don’t remember who I voted for because I was picking ladies at random, but I’m sure all of you got my vote. Along with Amber Heard and Staceyann Chin because I mean… c’mon.

  10. Thumb up 4

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    People will call me a hater/asshole/whatever and whine, I am sure, but some of the women on this list are truly gross. And it’s confusing, because I can think of a handle of very hot lesbians off the top of my head that should be on this list.

    Also, there needs to be a rule about Autostraddle staff being on the list. It’s sort of ridiculous when the staff takes up like 20 slots. If you’re concerned there aren’t enough out gay ladies to fill a top 100 list, I disagree, but just do a top 50 or something.

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        Well I obviously meant physically gross as in unattractive. I’m sure they have beautiful souls, but I was under the impression this list is about physical attractiveness. If judging people by their looks makes me an asshole, then the very idea of this list is assholey. P.S. Your shoes are ugly.

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          i feel like being physically attractive is just one of many factors that makes a person “hot”

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          Right, but am I not understanding the basic premise of a Hot 100? I feel like being somewhat physically attractive as at least one requirement, if not the only one or the most important one. I understand, per Dina’s point, that different people find different things attractive. But there are also common, basic standards of attractiveness that cut across all demographics that are not represented at all in many choices here.

          My conclusion is this: This list says something very specific about the visitors of this particular website is my only guess. Kind of like how if it was L Chat, the top 100 would mostly be hot femmes in their 20s and fictional characters in lesbians couples. And if it was AfterEllen, the top 100 would mostly be tweens and 40+ lesbians. Heehee. But I jest.

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          ‘there are common, basic standards of attractiveness’

          I disagree with this statement entirely, and given that this is a public-votes list including those ‘truly gross’ humans you speak of, it would seem we also have some proof otherwise.

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          Yes, public votes, but only to people who actually visit this website regularly. Apparently you missed my second paragraph in my two-paragraph post.

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          Correct, you are not understanding the basic premise of this Hot 100. If 1,000 people came up with a list that you don’t approve of, you might be in the wrong here.

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          No, no I read it. But the idea that specific readers of a specific site find a specific thing hot which others might not (which I wouldn’t disagree with, actually) totally contradicts the idea that there is a common standard of attractiveness which dictates whether people are hot or truly gross on some kind of fundamental level. Which was the part of your comment which I do disagree with, so.

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          Um, no, it means that this website has readers who find attractiveness in things outside the standard mainstream where most other people find common ground. The standard is the standard because it largely cuts across gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. For instance, fit people are considered attractive to just about everyone. Also things like, you know, chicks without hairy armpits or mustaches. This site is outside of the mainstream, clearly. On which other website have I had to endure people bitching that articles were not inclusive because it didn’t include bisexual FtMs in polyamorous relationships with pansexual vegans? Hmm, can’t think of any others. The Autostraddler readership has got that covered. Not mainstream.

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          What you’re talking about is seriously one of my favorite things about Autostraddle and Autostraddlers. They realize that intelligence and confidence can make a person sexier than any physical trait, and that it’s important to give everyone a voice – not just the so-called “mainstream.” I think everyone’ has a different idea of what’s hot, and the Hot 100 list, just like most things on this site, is pretty much inclusive. No, not everyone will agree with every selection, but that’s the point – we’re all different.

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          Well it wasn’t obvious to me. There are people that I don’t think are attractive that I wouldn’t call “truly gross”.

          That’s funny because my shoes get many compliments, especially from women. Everyone knows lesbians love Doc Martens.

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          I think “hottness” and the idea of this list embodies both physical attractiveness plus personality/awesomeness attractiveness plus supporting queer ladies who we love.

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          It won’t let me reply to your later comment! But um I think girls with mustaches and hairy pits are hot and I don’t think I’m that weird. We all find different things attractive. I guess your tastes align closer with modern media, mine don’t. Doesn’t mean one is somehow better than the other.

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          I actually never said I thought anything was wrong with my original comment at all. I just wanted to make sure the full glory of my original comment could be understood, so I clarified. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on my nothing-wrong-with-it-at-all comment of otherwise perfection due to a single typo. :)

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          Yes, magicclovemuffin, the mainstream has a fairly particular set of standards for how women should look to qualify as hot, but it’s worth thinking critically about the mainstream point of view, you know? The standard idea of a beautiful woman is not only bland and rigid, it doesn’t really reflect how people are attracted to all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons in real life; like the way we’re not all straight. It also happens to be the case that the industries that produce the visual culture that teaches us to recognize a certain small set of things as “beautiful” and other things as “gross” has a vested interest in creating aspirations that are difficult to meet, and generating fear about not fitting into the standard. People, especially female people, spend huge sums of money trying to be “hot.” Every culture has ideas about beauty, but those ideas and how they matter very quite widely–and the fact that a subculture can cultivate a different aesthetic indicates just how culturally malleable ideas of beauty are (can i mention at this juncture how crazy hot butches are, and I never see them on tv?). This is anthropology 101, girl, get your ass to class! And by the way, commenting rudely on people’s looks when you’re safely invisible and anonymous is fairly ugly behavior…

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          so-you don’t have a counterargument? i guess it’s your prerogative to refuse to listen to sense! meanwhile, there’s a world of hotties of every shape and size that I’m not flirting with while i’m pointlessly trying to dialogue with you, so-bye!

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          It’s not that I don’t have a counterargument, it’s just that 1) We have differing opinions and opinions can’t be changed by arguing. You are certainly entitled to yours and I was just joking around. I think maybe some people took my comments, which were blatantly irreverent, too seriously. 2) I was making an observation about the audience AS attracts, but I cannot conduct a formal survey or anything. I’m just kind of speculating. I’m the sort of person who wonders not what a poll means about the question asked in it, but about what it means about the poll itself, if that makes sense. I think a “Hot 100″ on 20 different websites will be significantly different in 20 different ways. Please don’t let me keep you from flirting with hotties! :)

  11. Thumb up 0

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    Intern Grace, you look EXACTLY like my first girlfriend. It’s actually getting weird. Are you secretly an English PhD geology student?

    Also, having seen the pictures of autostraddle staff, I REALLY want to go to camp now! (ahem, for the scenery….I mean the view….I mean the mountains….I give up)

  12. Thumb up 0

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    getting hot & bothered looking through all of these pictures. SO MANY BABES. some pictures are so great/cute/hawt I can’t even take it.

    happppppppy to see so many Autostraddle people nominated. you are important.

    P.S. LiLo and Sam Ronson next to eachother? my heart breaks.

  13. Thumb up 0

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    How on EARTH is AzMarie not in the top 10 :s Have you guys seen the girl ? Did she like break a lesbian cardinal rule that has us not liking her ? Cause I thought after the way she handled herself on ANTM she deserves a hug and a pint for not being a brain dead moron.

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    i love this. mostly because of the diversity…. i think it says a lot about what autostraddle stands for and im proud to be part of a community that thinks these women are sexy. cause they are. ALSO – romy madley croft from the xx should be on this list too. just sayin.

  15. Thumb up 0

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    Lol at Lilo/SamRo, Holly/KM and Portia/Ellen following each other in this top!
    Thanks voters for introducing me to so many cuties I didn’t know!
    And Autostraddle staff: wow. Totally deserve your spots on the list is all I’m going to say.

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      yeah i know, when we were counting the votes i kept swearing a lot, like, fuck, y’all, the top 15 is gonna be white as snow, which isn’t how i like our top 15s to be.

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          yeah, i actually checked out the afterellen hot 100 from last year to see the highest-ranking queer women on their list (their list is for straight women and queer women, so most of the women on it are straight), and the top 15 queer women to appear on the list were — SURPRISE!! — amber heard, tegan quin, sara quin, heather peace, rachel maddow, kate moennig, portia de rossi, anna paquin, leisha hailey, chely wright, ellen degeneres, angelina jolie, evan rachel wood, tucky williams and freja beha erichsen. but there were several straight WOC in the top 20 — sarah shahi, jennifer beals, naya rivera, sara ramirez, et al. so i think that you’re probably right.

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      I spent 2 hours attempting to compile a list of masculine presenting women of color. And it was REALLY REALLY HARD to find people that I thought other people might know/vote for. At some point I gave up on this quest and voted for other people too that are still hot.

      But most of my list isn’t on here.

      My heart is pretty broken about it.

      Why the fuck aren’t there more famous masculine nonwhite queer women in the world?

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        as a non-white queer woman may I say that your demands of the *few* famous women who happen to be non-white & queer sound like you are dictating terms, and less knowledgeable ones at that?

        it would be one thing if you’d just stopped to think who struck you as cute and nobody came to mind. Whatever, I wouldn’t want to dictate your tastes. But you elevated it to the level of a two hour “quest” and then added the “masculine presenting” modifier when it’s been about 15 years since women of color started appearing somewhat regularly (usually in supporting parts, but still) in TV, movies and other major media.

        “Firsts” have to be appealing to the conservative mainstream. Firsts are different, and therefore may be judged as threatening for any given thing – to the substantial detriment of their careers. Hence Latifah glamming up and refusing to say the words or Michelle Rodriguez prattling on about sausage. There ARE going to be very famous masculine nonwhite queer women a few years down the road. But to demand that of already famous non-white queer women just adds to their burden, and denies them places on lists like this – which are real indicators of success.

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    I think so many of these comments touch on issues of invisibility that might make for a really important article! True, these are some fine ladies, but as many other comments have said, we’re looking at primarily white, slim, cis-gendered, able-bodied ladies here. Along with other ‘markers of (normative) attractiveness’ that other commenters have spoken about (for example, body hair), it might be great to start a conversation on which bodies are being looked at and celebrated in the articles on this site (and, of course, across contemporary culture more broadly).

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    I’ve been meaning to ask this, what about Queen Latifah and Kate Moening? I thought they weren’t officially out either, unless I missed something, I mean I know there are implied quotes that may suggest or assume their sexuality, but ???

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      I feel like i have answered this question about kate moennig 567 times on this website and maybe should just try to find the last time i answered it or maybe i should just shut up? ANYHOO, kate moennig is out, she didn’t make a big announcement and never will, but it’s not a secret (also Jennifer Beals outed her accidentally in the advocate in like 2006), she’s very openly gay at this point

      Queen Latifah we possibly should not have included, but um, did anyway

  18. Thumb up 0

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    At first I started reading this list like ‘hahaha us AS readers are so biased, the staff are going to kill this thing’ and then I saw the pictures and was like ‘thank god that everyone was on the same wavelength as me, the AS team are a bunch of SEXY MOFOS AHSJNKDMSJNKMDLSDKM’

    sidenote : half my list was for team members, well-deserved, clearly…

  19. Thumb up 0

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    Yay!!! So happy to see Beth Ditto make the list!!!

    I vote in these things every year just to vote for her. Here’s to her hotness! (This isn’t as creepy as it sounds — but, c’mon, she’s a smokin’ hot, awesome queer lady. How can she not be towards the top of everyone’s lists?!)

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    Not one of my crushes is on this list. I’ll admit one of them is straight so I didn’t expect to see her name on there, but no Jillian Michaels? No Jackie Warner? Why are we dissin the hot trainers? I have to say over half of these women I’ve never heard of before. I’m a little disappointed.

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    Yeah, a bunch of the woman on this list (Angelina Jolie, Anna Paquin, etc.) are dating or married to men…that doesn’t really seem very queer to me…I’m just saying.

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      So? They may be dating or married to men now, but they are still queer, as they have been with women before and or are bisexual, sexually fluid, pansexual, etc. Not everyone is strictly “lesbian,” there are other sexual orientations and variations across the spectrum. Their dating of men should not negate or take away from that, just because of their current status, nor should it be judged, as if lesbians only have some ‘exclusive’ niche and or authority as far as who is queer and who is not. It is this type of thinking and attitude that I despise in these types of ‘communities’ because you are alienating other experiences and sexual identities.

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        “They may be dating or married to men now, but they are still queer, as they have been with women before and or are bisexual…”

        Please point out to me where I said that these women aren’t queer. I said that them dating men doesn’t seem queer to me. Learn some reading comprehension.

        “Not everyone is strictly “lesbian,” there are other sexual orientations and variations across the spectrum. ”

        Please point out where I said otherwise. Oh right, I didn’t. Again, brush up on your reading comprehension, kid.

        “Their dating of men should not negate or take away from that, just because of their current status, nor should it be judged, as if lesbians only have some ‘exclusive’ niche and or authority as far as who is queer and who is not.”

        See what I said above. You’re bad at this, aren’t you?

        “…because you are alienating other experiences and sexual identities.”

        Indeed. By just making a comment that a living hetero-normative relationship in a homophobic society isn’t really a queer living situation? I’m sure they’re lovely, wonderful, QUEER (please make a note that I said that, because you seem to have difficulty there) women, but you can’t deny that they don’t face the problems that queer women (lesbian or bisexual) in relationships with other women face in a homophobic society.

        So, I ask: How do you think it feels to be lectured about on how difficult it is to be queer by women who are living a life of straight privilege? Do you think that alienates women who aren’t attracted to men and have a completely different life experience?

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          Really? Ad hominem attacks of “kid” and or “comprehension issues” doesn’t start an argument off in your favor, fyi. Instead, you should attack the points I made (not me) and if you feel that you were clear, perhaps you should elaborate further because the implications you made are clear as day.

          “Please point out to me where I said that these women aren’t queer. I said that them dating men doesn’t seem queer to me. Learn some reading comprehension.”

          It was implied here, “that doesn’t really seem very queer to me.”

          What is queer to you? Do other people have to abide by your definition of what queer is? All of sudden YOU have the authority on the matter and you’re the gatekeeper? You don’t have to be with a woman in the present moment, in order to have “credibility” of being queer. Queer identity is not only manifested physically and outwardly, but also internally, for example you can have romantic feelings for the same sex and still be queer, there is a term for that, but at this moment I cannot think of the term. Nor does ones living situation negate whether or not they are queer. I thought my elaboration was pretty clear, but evidently that doesn’t seem to be the case.

          “Not everyone is strictly “lesbian,” there are other sexual orientations and variations across the spectrum. ”

          Please point out where I said otherwise. Oh right, I didn’t. Again, brush up on your reading comprehension, kid.

          This is called an elaboration. I elaborated in order to open up broader perspectives, hoping you would get my line of thinking. Instead, you overlooked that elaboration and went on the defensive with the “reading comprehension” bit.

          “Indeed. By just making a comment that a living hetero-normative relationship in a homophobic society isn’t really a queer living situation?”

          You didn’t make that comment about the living situation in the beginning, until AFTER the fact, that is, until I called you out on your implication, then you tried to backpedal on that specific “point,” which really isn’t a point at all. Perhaps an analogy would work for you, so here goes, whether you are a Black women in the Hamptons or a Black woman in the projects of New York, YOU’RE STILL BLACK and the same goes for one’s queer identity. Now, if you want to argue that they have different socioeconomic privileges, class privilege, et cetera then so be it, as that is a whole other point and topic altogether, but why are you trying to compartmentalize one’s queer identity based on their current status and or living situation? That is just odd, especially when you are assuming their sexual identity and or lifestyle. How do you not know that they may be practicing a form of polyamory, non-monagamy and or an open relationship, but just didn’t feel it necessary to tell the media, or the populace at large, as they may feel it’s none of anyone’s fucking business?

          Everyone has a certain set of privilege(s), some individuals have more privileges than others and quite frankly, I’m really tired of the 1upmanship, entitlement, and “Oppression Olympics” displayed as far as who has more privileges than the next person. Do you want a cookie, a gold star, or a pat on the back for the lack of privileges you do or do not have? (I’m speaking generally here, this is not directed at you). Some were born with certain privileges and some were not, however there should be an overall understanding of how privilege works, but that doesn’t take away from their identity as queer individuals.

          It is my belief, that people who keep arguing about privilege and who has it better and or worse than the other, never evolve and that is not to say that the idea of privilege should be ignored, please make no mistake here. What I am getting at, however is when do people go beyond these notions and actually get out of that type of stagnation and actually PROGRESS beyond that and when do people stop telling others who and who isn’t queer based on said privilege(s) or not? Hopefully my points were clear.

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          “Instead, you should attack the points I made…”

          Well, you first need to make some – points, that is, not one point. Your post was largely a repetition of the same point over and over (that queer women in relationships with men are still queer, when I never said otherwise and in fact quite agree with). Keep it at, and I’m sure you’ll become a better writer, just as your reading skills will no doubt improve. If nothing else, you’ll at least write much more, as you’ve shown above, and practice makes perfect, as they say. You should learn what the person to whom you’re responding is saying, first.

          “…because the implications you made are clear as day.”

          No, that was your interpretation of my words. You seemed to assume things that I absolutely did not say.

          “What is queer to you?”

          Well, being a cis woman (who isn’t trans*) who is married to a man (who also isn’t trans*) certainly doesn’t seem queer to me. The people in such a situation might be, I won’t deny it.

          “Do other people have to abide by your definition of what queer is? All of sudden YOU have the authority on the matter and you’re the gatekeeper?”

          Did I say that anywhere? I’m sorry, but I’m being honest here: You REALLY need to work on your reading comprehension. I said nothing of the sort.

          “You don’t have to be with a woman in the present moment, in order to have “credibility” of being queer. Queer identity is not only manifested physically and outwardly, but also internally, for example you can have romantic feelings for the same sex and still be queer, there is a term for that, but at this moment I cannot think of the term. Nor does ones living situation negate whether or not they are queer.”

          Did I ever say these women weren’t queer? We’re rehashing the same things from the previous post, and it’s not very interesting. I expect once you hone your reading and writing skills somewhat, that will cease to be the case.

          “You didn’t make that comment about the living situation in the beginning, until AFTER the fact..”

          You’re wrong. In my initial post, I said:

          “…a bunch of the woman on this list (Angelina Jolie, Anna Paquin, etc.) are dating or married to men…that doesn’t really seem very queer to me.”

          Is English not your first language? I ask because it’s not my first language, and I’m sympathetic in such cases. Anyway, I will break it down for you to make things simple:

          1. Several of the women on that list are married to men; I did not count, so I make no claim as to an exact number. This is a true fact, and I provided examples.

          2. Given the fact in point 1 (which I referred to as “that” in my second statement), I pointed out “that” did not seem queer to me.

          Are you implying it is the case that when a cis woman (who isn’t trans*) is married to a man (who also isn’t trans*) is, in fact, queer, rather than hetero-normative?

          “Black women in the Hamptons or a Black woman in the projects of New York, YOU’RE STILL BLACK and the same goes for one’s queer identity.”

          That analogy works for the point you made, but it is not the point I made; I never denied that these women were queer.

          “…but why are you trying to compartmentalize one’s queer identity based on their current status and or living situation?”

          I said nothing of their identities; you inferred that incorrectly.

          “How do you not know that they may be practicing a form of polyamory, non-monagamy and or an open relationship, but just didn’t feel it necessary to tell the media, or the populace at large, as they may feel it’s none of anyone’s fucking business?”

          The cynical part of me feels that, were that the case, the US tabloid media would have made it known. Anyway, to your knowledge, are any of these women practicing anything of that sort? Were that the case, do you feel that is would be “more queer” (insomuch as such a phrase is useful) than simply being in a monogamous heterosexual marriage? You’ve derided my judgement as to what is “queer,” so I’m curious to hear your own.

          “…but that doesn’t take away from their identity as queer individuals. ”

          Again, I’ve said nothing of anyone’s identity. We’re repeating ourselves ad nauseum here. That’s why I suggested you practice your reading comprehension a bit.

          “It is my belief, that people who keep arguing about privilege and who has it better and or worse than the other, never evolve and that is not to say that the idea of privilege should be ignored, please make no mistake here.”

          I said nothing of who has it worse. That said, women who are in hetero-normative heterosexual relationships do have privileges that others lack. We (most of us, anyway) live in a homophobic society where such relationships are privileged. Such privilege, of course, is not static, nor is it the same among all queer people, lest you think to bring that up next. It does none of us any good to simply ignore privilege. It gives us a better basis for these sorts of discussions.

          “What I am getting at, however is when do people go beyond these notions and actually get out of that type of stagnation and actually PROGRESS beyond that and when do people stop telling others who and who isn’t queer based on said privilege(s) or not?”

          Again, I said nothing of who is and isn’t queer. Sadly, we (most of us) don’t live in a society where all relationships are created equal, much as we’d all like that. Perhaps someday. I don’t believe we’ve stagnated; I believe there’s been much progress, though of course there’s still a long way to go. I’m curious as to where you think we (queer people?) are stagnant.

          “Hopefully my points were clear.”

          For the most part, they were, yes.

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    As far as I’m concerned, you’ve already lost your “argument” when you used ad hominem attacks and continued to talk in a condescending tone via “Is your first language English, blah blah blah?” “Comprehension kid.” Stop the bullshit here and don’t try to pretend that you’re being sympathetic to a language barrier because English is your second language and “Oh hey, is it yours too because I can totally understand, hey we share the same ” ESL struggle”….” You understand me loud and clear and you’re actually displaying the very behavior that I’m speaking against. Pointing out a “language barrier” issue, is really low, not to mention, you have no argument because if you did, you wouldn’t pick a “language barrier” as your defense. You have nothing else to say, point blank. You see, all I hear you saying is, “Yeah, but…” “Yeah, but you…” “I didn’t say that, but you…” Well if you didn’t say that, what did you say? Make your point already, or move on because you’re just backpedaling on the issue and defensive as all get out.

    What did you expect to do? Do a hit and run drive-by comment and not get noticed? It’s very easy to do that, especially when you aren’t even a member (or logged in) because you have no recourse for your words and or actions. Hell you can disappear after this, into the internet vortex. Also, in case you don’t know what an ad hominem is, I’ve provided some great information on that here: http://www.fallacyfiles.org/adhomine.html.

    When you stop with the “condescending, pretentious, fain sympathetic, ad hominen throwing, “hey we’re “ESL’rs” in the struggle, but yo! I’mma let you finish, Virgina Woolfe is a better writer than you” Kanye West (http://www.hark.com/clips/ryyxbwbzgr-imma-let-you-finish) type of attitude, then maybe I’ll continue to be interested in what you have to say, but until then, I’m not interested. On that note, peace, selam, namaste, au revoir, sayonara, narazie, güle güle, adios or which ever language you speak, that gets the message across. Oh and for the record, English is my first language, but I do know bits and pieces of other languages as well.

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    I’m usually a lurker…love the list and discussion…but really found Tegan’s comment (I know, not exactly the point of a Top 100 list of photos) bugs me. So those of us that do decide to get married and maybe have kids are giving up on all of our dreams? I’m married and mom of a little one and sure our lives are a bit kid focused but it doesn’t mean I’ve given up on all my dreams. Doesn’t mean I’ve given up on life. And what if being a mom was a dream for me?

    Tis possible it hit too close to home…

  24. Pingback: So, apparently, I’m a bottom « The Kinky Virgin

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