"Excuse me, I'm on the Brink of Fame. Where's my Contract?"
Riese: But you are on the brink of FAME! You won the Brink of Fame Award!
Kate: Yes ... I did. Oddly enough, Comedy Central has not stepped forward with a development deal because of this, I guess the phone will ring soon.
Riese: Maybe it’ll be when you get the actual award back, 'cause right now it's just sort of symbolic.
Kate: Once I get it, I’ll just walk into the office and say, “Look, mothafuckas!”
Riese: Oh, you should, actually. Wouldn’t that be amazing? You should just carry it with you everywhere.
Kate: Like, “Excuse me, I’m on the brink of fame. Where’s my contract?”
Riese: You’re edging on it. So do you feel like that’s true?
Kate: No. Absolutely not.
Riese: What for you is the ultimate dream success?
Kate: My ultimate dream would be to be Lily Tomlin or to be Tracy Ullman, you know, just a character woman. A character woman who does characters where characters are needed. I would kill to be the first gay person on SNL or have a Tracy Ullman-type show. That would be my ultimate dream.
Other People's Questions
Riese Okay, now I have questions for you from our interns and the team. Are you ready?
Kate: Yes.
Riese: Any new impersonations coming up for the next season? Because everyone loves Fitzwilliam.
Fitzwilliam (with Unicorn) is Kate's signature character
Kate: There is a Fitzwilliam sketch, but there is also ... [mulls it over] ... much more.
Riese: Any exclusive secret new characters?
Kate: I don’t know if it’s a secret [looks vague and mysterious] ... there are some more celebrity impressions ... Among them, I will say ... Barbara Walters is on the show now.
Riese: The View, or…
Kate: In all respects of her life.
Riese: If you could be in a Broadway show, which one, and what character?
Kate: I am a musical theatre enthusiast. I would play Miss Hannigan in Annie.
Riese What was your favorite part when you were doing it in school?
Kate: Adelaide in Guys and Dolls.
My What a Cute Nose You Have
Riese One of our editors wants to know should she call you “Cutie Fantastico” or “My Little Poodle Noodle?”
Kate: [laughs, blushes] It’s rough to decide between the two, but I have to go with “Cutie Fantastico.” “Poodle Noodle” makes me … gag.
Riese: Is it the “poodle” or the “noodle?”
Kate: It’s both.
I love that if I wanted to walk around and not shave my legs and have a bad attitude, wear a belt buckle the size of a burrito, I could. And that would be okay because people expect that of me.
Riese: Her follow up question is - what is it like to have such an adorable nose?
Kate: [cracks up laughing] I don’t know! An adorable nose? Who said that? I’d like to meet the girl who said that!
Riese: Laneia is her name. She's very cute.
Kate: Um, I don’t know how to answer that question! I’m glad someone thinks my nose is adorable.
Riese: So this is sort of "surprising" is how this feels?
Kate: No one’s ever said anything about my nose!
Riese: I have to say that obviously I've now been looking at your nose while we've discussed this and I have to agree.
Kate: Well I have Jesus to thank for that, so thank you, buddy.
Riese: What’s a lesbian joke that you’re really sick of hearing?
Kate: I’m not sick of lesbian jokes, I think they’re all true, and I love them! I love that if I wanted to walk around and not shave my legs and have a bad attitude, wear a belt buckle the size of a burrito, I could. I could, and that would be okay because people expect that of me, and I like that people expect that of me.
Riese So anything other than the burrito buckle is like a pleasant surprise?
Kate: Right.
Riese: Like “your hair is so long!”
Kate: Right.
Riese: Who was your first big crush?
Kate: Gillian Anderson of The X Files. Let me say this: the other day, someone "suggested a friend" to me on Facebook, and that friend was Gillian Anderson. She has a Facebook page. It’s probably someone who made a Gillian Anderson Facebook page, but anyway, I did it, and she accepted my friendship, so now I am Facebook friends with Gillian Anderson.
Riese: Did you look at all her photo albums right away?
Kate: Yeah, I wrote, actually, an essay? About my love for Gillian. It has yet to be published, but I thought about it.
Riese: Just for fun? Or for school?
Kate: No, I really had to work through some stuff, so I wrote about it, and maybe I’ll give you guys a copy, and you can put that essay on your website.
Riese: We could publish it. It could have its moment, and you could be the celesbian guest blogger, interviewee, and photoshoot subject, which is like, triple threat.
Kate: Wow, that’s too much. Anyway, so I came to understand was that I wanted was to kiss ladies through feeling the way that I did about her.
Riese: It was her role in The X Files? She was in movies.
Kate: No, no, no. It wasn’t even Gillian. I wanted Dana Catherine Scully.
A Little Case of Palm Springs Crotch Rot
Riese: What were you doing on your laptop during the Celesbian interviews?
Kate: Oh, I’m just typing. There’s nothing. The computer is off.
Riese: Was it awkward afterwards with Dani Campbell? Everyone loves that video of you. It’s like one of those videos that people want to show, like “Oh my God have you seen this?” Then everyone stands around the computer like they're watching puppy cam.
Kate: Here’s why it was awkward, not for the reason that you would expect: it was awkward because, for some reason, my crotch smelled, and my legs were spread wide open, and I was smelling my womanhood, and I thought, “I hope she can’t smell it.” I don’t want to be in Palm Springs anymore! Palm Springs crotch rot!
Riese: It's the Palm Springs special -- Julie made a joke about it right?
Kate: Yeah, she was making a joke about it, but it like, wasn’t a joke. It really was happening.
Riese: So afterwards you just closed your legs?
Kate: Yeah, and Dani Campbell was not expecting that, and afterwards I apologized for my behavior, if it made her uncomfortable, and she said, “That’s alright,” but like it kind of wasn’t alright, and I think that had more to do with my crotch than my behavior. So that’s the truth about that video.
Riese: Do you like Dinah Shore?
Kate: No. No. I have to say that I didn’t. Because I don’t drink. I’m not sober, I just don’t drink, and I don’t like crowds, loud music, or human interaction, and there was a ton of that that weekend, and so it was a little much for me.
Riese: How about the Rosie Cruise?
Kate: Actually, the reason why I don’t drink is that I decided to test my limits on the Rosie Cruise. I had three gin and tonics at the uhh --
Riese: At the Spinnaker?
Kate: Yeah! At the Spinnaker Lounge. They say that I was so drunk that I licked a poll in the Spinnaker lounge, and I don’t remember that at all, and I had a stomach virus, probably from something I contracted by licking the pole.
Riese: Right, a lot of children and Broadway people. And that’s why you don’t drink?
Kate: I mean I don’t drink because if I have one drink, I am on the floor, and I don’t like that feeling.
Riese: But did you like performing on the Rosie Cruise? Did you like the environment?
Kate: Yeah, it was fun. I ate way too much, as you have to. Before those three gin and tonics, I had a 1 a.m. visit to the pasta bar, and I had farfalle with pesto, and I didn’t have it a couple of hours later. Oh God, it was terrible.
Riese: I’ve gotten sick on every Rosie Cruise, I think, once. Is that weird?
Alex: No.
The Other Kate McKinnon
Riese: Did you know that there’s another Kate McKinnon who makes jewelry?
Kate: Yes I did. I’m trying to outrank her on Google, but I don’t know how. She comes up first.
Riese: You should get in touch with her.
Kate: Yeah I should. She’s a metalsmith and a beadworker. I should reach out to her, and we could combine forces.
Riese: You could ask her for some jewelry. She makes metalwork and jewelry, doesn’t she? Does she have the .com?
Kate: Yeah, I don’t have a website. I just never got around to paying someone to make that. I have a Tumblr.
Riese: What do you put on it?
Kate: There is one video on it. I am very bad at self-promotion. Very, very bad. I never update my MySpace account. I never list my gigs or anything, I never get around to it. I just hope that people will show up.
Riese: I mean, you got a job doing comedy right out of college, and now you have a show, so obviously you don’t need self-promotion. You’re doing really good.
Kate: Well thank you!
Alex: Do you have any questions for Obama?
Kate: I have a lot of questions for Obama right now. I have three questions. When am I going to get married? When am I going to have health insurance? And suga, suga, how’d you get so fly? You’re so cute, Barack.
The Big Gay Sketch Show will return to Logo in February of 2010. In the meantime, you can watch re-runs and wait for Kate "Brink of Fame" McKinnon to update her tumblr and/or myspace and go see her at the Upright Citizens Brigade.
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