Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Candy-Colored Glass Dildo

AUTOSTRADDLE ANONYMOUS SEX TOY REVIEW #42:

It’s our 42nd Autostraddle Anonymous Sex Toy Review! Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have propositioned us, wondering if we’d like to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys.

This week, one of our anonymous reviewers tried out the Candy-Colored Glass Dildo available at Babeland.

Like candy for your ladyparts.

Like candy for your ladyparts.

  • Material: hand-blown soda lime glass
  • Color: clear with ribbons of color inside (mine was pink)
  • Size: about 10 inches long and 1 1/2 inches in diameter (varies)
  • Price: $99

If you only want one glass toy in your box and you want it to be as comfortable as possible, the candy-colored glass dildo is probably that toy.

Candy-colored dildos are handmade by Standard Glass, a Washington-based company. According to the company, “the first Standard Glass prototypes were made as a wedding gift for two ladies in love,” which is a pretty lovely dildo origin story.

The candy-colored dildo is made of soda lime glass. Glass sex toys are pretty much made of either soda lime glass or borosilicate glass (like the Dorado). Neither material should be exposed to extreme temperature changes, but soda lime glass is particularly sensitive — don’t boil or freeze it and use gently warm or cool water to adjust its temperature before play. Sanitize it with alcohol or toy cleaner.

The toy has a smooth shape and, like all glass toys, feels weighty and solid to hold. I’m never going to stop being amazed at how little lube I seem to need with glass toys — they glide in a way that even the smoothest silicone doesn’t, have basically no drag and feel cool and hard and solid and slick.

The more sculpted end was shaped enough to be interesting if I clenched around it, but not too interesting that I couldn’t thrust aggressively if I wanted. The curves of the toy missed my g-spot, which I actually like, but which would be disappointing if you looked at the shape and thought of squirting. The thicker, smooth curving end was better when I wanted to feel a little fuller at first, but clearly not the end intended for use — the toy tapers a little too much toward the middle for it to make me feel as full as I wanted. (Though disclaimer, my usual dildo is the enormous Outlaw, which means that almost no other toy makes me feel as full as I want.)

At about 10 inches in length, it’s a long toy, so you can pretty much have it as deep as you want and you’ll still have room to grip it. Though because of how smooth the shape and texture are, I found it a really slippery toy to hold on to when it was lubed up — I almost dropped it a few times when I used it in the shower, and since you’re not supposed to use glass toys that fall onto hard surfaces, my buzz would have been thoroughly killed if it’d fallen.

Used with a partner, it’s hard to find an angle where your grip isn’t slippery, but you can cup the end with your fingers and get a mostly secure angle. (It’s easier to hold on to the sculpted end, but that end also feels better inside.)

The dildos are made by hand, which is a great predictor of quality, but since no two are identical you can’t be 100% sure what you’re going to get. You can’t choose the color if you order online. (I am not bothered by this, but if you want blue or an awesome rainbow situation instead of classic sex-toy pink, you might be.) They also don’t come with a storage situation.

The candy-colored glass dildo feels like the Platonic ideal of a glass dildo — long enough to grip and thrust, not too thick but not too thin, inoffensively pretty and smooth and just shaped enough to be interesting without being super g-spot focused. If you haven’t played with a glass toy before and want a universal crowd-pleaser, this dildo is a great place to start.

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anon has written 188 articles for us.

5 Comments

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    I have had this toy for about 18 months, and I love it.
    It’s difficult for me to use by myself because it gets really slippery, and also I think my arms are too short (ha), but I love love love when my girlfriend is the operator.

    Mine is curved much more intensely than the one pictured here, and the head is larger, so it’s totally my g-spot’s dream come true, which results in basically the world’s most amazing orgasms, and I squirt almost every time we use it (to my girlfriend’s delight).

    If you live near a place that sells it, I’d definitely recommend going in there and picking it out yourself, because they are all seriously shaped pretty differently.
    I ordered mine online from Babeland, and I just happened to get VERY lucky with one that was literally the perfect design for my body, but I wouldn’t order blindly like that again if I ever need to replace it.

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