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Lesbian Sexy in 27 Parts: An NSFW Sunday Spectacular

the team

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SEXY LESBIANS: We started this post at midnight last night which is usually when we aim to finish this post. So, in lieu of any other brilliant ideas we decided to go super general and just whip out you know -- stuff that's sexy! Easy, right?

So we did a survey of lesbians accessible via email, texting, g-chat, twitter, and the living room and come up with the following Things That Are Sexy. We weren't able to visually represent everything this week, so you know what that means... TWO PARTER!

Here's the gallery!

g-chat editor's meeting:

laneia: BOIS
riese: bois bois bois
laneia: RAIN
sarah: kissing in the rain. addendum.
riese: aw, sarah
laneia: KISSING BOIS IN THE RAIN
riese: oh that's a triple threat

Have anything to add? We could use something edgy. Y'all are so f*cking vanilla sometimes, I swear.

VADGE: Six weirdest things women do to their vaginas. This seems to be a trend lately; every week someone's got something to say about the vadge! (@alternet)

V-DAY: Valentine's Day Gift Guide for couples from Babeland. (@babeland)

IN THE ARMY: Lesbian Army Drill - "There’s something (unintentionally?) hilarious about the Lesbian Army porn site. The room is cheap, the girls are Slavic pretty, the gear is Red Army surplus, and the plot lines are a novel mix of boot camp, military hazing, and cartoony “here’s your rubber dick, congrats you’re lesbian!” lesbianism:"

ASS: American Apparel is searching for the best ass in the world for a new ad campaign. So there will be lots of pictures of asses on their website for you to vote on is what we're telling you.

PORN: Queer porn star Jiz Lee gives movie reviewing a shot: I’ve got to hand it to porn reviewers, this is hard work and not for everyone! When HotMoviesForHer.com asked me if I’d be interested in reviewing a film or two on their site I thought I’d give it a go. So I tried to sit down with a double-whammy, comparing “Hole” to “The Hole." (@jizless)

REVIEW: Review - Under-the-Bed Restraints: Don't let your girlfriends lack-of-a-headboard get in the way of a little bondage! (@sugarbutch)

IPAD: Super porn producers Digital Playground just announced their compatibility with the newly announced Apple iPad for watching all things porn. (@digital playground)

70 responses to “Lesbian Sexy in 27 Parts: An NSFW Sunday Spectacular”

  1. RachelwasHere

    Those 6 things women do to their vag made me sad. But it did make me giggle to read the phrase “vagina colored vagina” repeatedly.

    Alright, will work on a list of things I didn’t want to tweet but will share directly here.

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  2. moose

    how did boyshorts not make the list? :’(

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    1. riese

      I feel like that’s a given, right? WE’ll put it in Part Two anyhoo

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      1. moose

        okay okay…

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    2. DemiArianna

      Ohhh, good point.
      And hair-pulling.
      Ass-grabbing.
      TATTOOOOOOS.

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  3. taylor

    i like a girl with an outstanding warrant.

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    1. taylor

      well, preferably not a sex offender. but beggars can’t be choosers.

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      1. wasteunit

        Are you kidding?! Sex offenders are great! They know what they want, and they aren’t afraid to get it.

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      2. riese

        that hot teacher who had a totally consensual relationship with her student is technically a sex offender. so, you know, it takes all kinds.

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        1. Lindsey P

          Some of those kinds are some of my fantasies. Raunchy Venn Diagram to come.

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        2. Emily

          i loved her.

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  4. Lily

    Ah I was actually sleeping when this twittering (tweeting?) about sexiness happened! And I never sleep at socially acceptable hours of the night=(

    I’m a big fan of collarbones, stomachs, and girls who cook (for me, obvs). I can’t/refuse to cook so that last one is a BIG deal.
    Also, fans of classical music, musicians, and crazy people are pretty high on the list.
    Oh and a sense of humor! That’s a biggie.

    Ok I need to stop thinking about this and start reading Paradise Lost.
    John Milton is so not sexy!!!

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  5. DemiArianna

    First things first, once again, I am indeed at work, while browsing NSFW Sunday. I’d like to think this is my weekly contribution to DAMN THE MAN.

    Second, GUYS YOU CAN’T HIT ME WITH RANDOM PICS OF TASHA/ROSE ROLLINS. It makes me pant/fall out of my chair/burst into a chorus of ‘oh my god’s/etc. Sheesh.

    Third, every time some mentions Rose Rollins I end up tweeting about her, and then going to look for pics or something. This time I ended up finding out that there’s gonna be a GIRLTRASH! movie. Am I the only person who didn’t know this?

    Lip rings mostly bother me. There are certain people who make them look so so good, but 90% of people with them make me upset. I think I mostly like the one in the middle, too.

    Bette Porter, hell yes.

    AND THEN YOU HIT ME WITH THE SHANE?! You’re my best friend for life, AS, but your sense of humor is CRUEL.

    I try to tell people all the time that douching is not okay. You’re not supposed to do that. It’s a self-cleansing organ. Only do it if a doctor tell you to (and they never will.)

    UNDER THE BED RESTRAINTS. What a godsend!

    Damn seven year olds are PERVS.

    Sorry, I’ve been having a caps issue.

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  6. wasteunit

    Re: Things that are sexy – sitting on my lap, eye lid kisses, and garters (belts not snakes).

    Re: Six weirdest things women do to their vaginas – There should be zero risk of confusing a vagina with a tropical island.

    Re: Under-the-bed restraints – I have these. They’re nice. I also have a vibrating bed. I want to do a webseries that opens with me throwing a lady on my bed and turning on the vibrations. She’ll say, “You have magic fingers?!” I’ll reply, “Yeah, and I have a vibrating bed, too.” These are some of the things you should know about me.

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    1. taylor

      i do like garter snakes.

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      1. wasteunit

        These aren’t garter snakes, but you get the idea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z4LCvVNwfU

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        1. taylor

          my girlfriend just clicked that link and screamed and screamed.

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        2. moose

          that guy reminded me of the crocodile hunter with a filthy mouth. OH AND a weird obsession with snake copulation.

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        3. Dina

          O_O

          That guy is WAY too excited about snakes doin’ it.

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        4. Lindsey P

          But their heads don’t even move!

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        5. dot

          Dudes, I’m just really glad it was two snakes after reading the title and that taylor’s girlfriend screamed and screamed.

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          1. OliviaMariee

            right??? hahaha I was expecting muuuuuch worse :)

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  7. DemiArianna

    Oh oh you know who else is sexy? Serious poets/spoken word artists. Dates a lot of those since I’m in the circle, haha.
    WRITERS. Not the J. Schecter kind. Well, maybe. DJs, but I can’t stand Carmen.
    The ladykiller kind of gal, like SHANE.
    Guys, you’ve gotten me started.

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  8. Rachel

    when she’s better at taking off my bra than i am. (this is every time.)

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    1. jenthejew

      I struggle with my own lingerie as well, ruining the sexy effect for everyone.

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  9. mandy

    hip bones are definitely hot..

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    1. moose

      an ex used to call them her “sex cuts” ow.

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    2. dot

      seconded.

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  10. bcw

    you know that place right at the base of the ear on the side of the neck? that place.
    .
    you know what else is sexy? when a girl is sarah shahi. i fucking love it when girls are sarah shahi.

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    1. Tiara the Merch Girl

      OMG. Some years ago I was helping my best friend volunteer at the Amnesty International booth for International Women’s Day. While I was trying to explain AI to some visitors, said friend snuck up behind me and kissed me RIGHT AT THAT SPOT. So my speech ended up being “We’re all about women’s rights…skifcnjmxkflskfmxlzsdad;;;…and that’s why you should join Amnesty International.”

      Damn woman, why are you straight as an arrow, argh >:|

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    2. Shanay

      I fucking love it when girls are Sarah Shahi too.

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  11. Corey

    Sexy is a girl who knows all the words to “I’m On Fire” and has read all of Bret Easton Ellis’s novels.

    In regards to the six weirdest things women do to their vaginas, I was wondering how women get vaginaplasty. In rhinoplasty you get to pick the nose you want so it only seems fair that in vaginaplasty you get to pick the vagina you want.

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    1. geneva.

      Do you think that there are actually girls out there somewhere that know all the words to “I’m On Fire”? Because that IS sexy. I concur. Where are they? Can I marry one of them?

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      1. RachelwasHere

        Le Mans, France at the moment. And the best we could do here is PaCS.

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        1. geneva.

          Well, there is always Canada…

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          1. RachelwasHere

            I hear good things about Canada. But I’m not sure I’d handle prolonged cold well.

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      2. Corey

        Obviously. Just need a good set of frequent flyer miles to get to France.

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    2. Lola

      This is so belated, but I put Bruce on at full blast when I drive & my copy of Less Than Zero is worn at the corners.

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  12. Rachel B

    When it comes to sexy.. I like wrists. And, of course, being straddled. (why wasn’t that one already listed?!)

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    1. Lindsey P

      Is this a reference to V for Vendetta?? Please please? Please?

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      1. Rachel B

        It’s not.. I genuinely think wrists are sexy. But as I was writing it I thought of that part and thought “omg I’m gonna cry just thinking about it let’s watch v and ogle natalie’s bald head.” That’s literally the best part.

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  13. Tiara the Merch Girl

    REDHEADS. Especially with freckles and green eyes. AISDNJFDSLJ I swear I must have been Scottish or dated a Scottish person in a past life or something, or maybe I’m just coveting my exact opposite. But GUH. MELTY.

    Also: Queer women have the BEST voices. Seriously. It’s not even a lisp or anything like that, they just sound awesome. I know a few queer women and transmen whose voices I could listen to for AGES.

    Yay suits! Also black bra + black trousers = YUM. Also add fedora/gangsta hat.

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  14. sarah

    Mouths. The bigger the better. And like, when you still can smell her on your sheets and towels. And dressing in lots of layers/ dressing for wintertime (because there are totally more clothes to take off). And kitchen/cooking chemistry — its like foreplay!

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  15. Sam

    girls with glasses playing guitars. strong women or stronger than me this is not necessarily in the physical sense but that is fun too.

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  16. jenthejew

    Hot: Girls with freckles, glasses, a girl who drinks like a grownup, messy hair, passing the oral exam, smart girls, girls who like musicals. Must love Dad.

    I really wish I could make big noses and computer geekery the new abs and wifebeaters because then I would be SET

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    1. Olivia

      I LOVE BIG NOSES.

      Also: girls who can skateboard and/or play the drums, awkward moments, forearms, and HANDS.

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      1. jenthejew

        If you could spread that love around the lesbian community, I would be forever grateful!

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      2. betsey

        holy crap, if you love awkward moments then we need to meet.

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  17. moose

    disheveled hair
    wearing my hoodie
    zero makeup
    & strong hands

    these are a few of my favorite things

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    1. moose

      Actually, I was reading/singing everyone’s answers to the tune from Sound of Music.

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  18. Desiree

    Lap dancing. Dirty talk. Taking off my underwear with her teeth. Motorcycles. Hot rides in general. Wearing nothing but a giant t-shirt. Pantsuits. Lip stick marks on skin.

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  19. AnieKay

    Making my first comment on autostraddle on this post, because these things are important. (*waves to everyone*)

    Eyeliner
    Boots
    Handcuffs- or scarves, or anything light bondage.
    Short Hair.
    Cute glasses with hoodies and hair in messy ponytails or buns.
    Draw stings on pajama pants
    Belt loops
    Ties
    Knee Socks
    Phrasing. Seriously- good phrasing is really sexy.
    Things whispered against lips

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  20. geneva.

    nipple piercings. this is not a joke.

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  21. stars

    Hot – girls who swear a bit and are mouthy and rude (in that hot way, you know?), tattoos, necks + strong backs, hands, being able to skateboard, lip piercings, can make me LOL ’til my stomach hurts, big smiles, sarcasm.

    To name a few! Haha.

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  22. Lindsey P

    Low voice. Delicate hands. Those that are quirky and spontaneous, please apply.

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  23. Kaitlyn

    sexy is confidence, eye contact, when she bites her lip, and if all three, damn…:)

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  24. fred

    I gotta be honest, I stared at the asses picture for a good two three minutes there.

    As a result I haven’t had the chance to think of anything else that I find sexy about a women. I have to go regroup…

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  25. marya

    Cheekbones. Think: Nicol Paone, Natalie Portman, AS vlogstar Nat Garcia.

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  26. Laura

    this is what i miss when i don’t have a computer!

    i like dimples, weirdos [http://xkcd.com/122/], girls who write pretty things, sweatpants, someone who is good at doing things that i’m not, and also muscles.

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  27. Emily

    forearms. strong forearms, but not too muscly. but not too thin wrists either. also veins are kinda sexy.

    glasses, but not when they’re worn all the time.

    lastly, if you want to win my heart without ever speaking to me, wear a dress shirt and don’t wear a wifebeater underneath.

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  28. Julia

    Cheerleaders

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  29. Kristin

    first comment…

    dimples, dancers, glasses only worn sometimes, curly hair, boy shorts, suspenders esp. worn by Bette Porter or Olivia Wilde, motivation, animal lovers, the soft skin on the side of her neck, or on her back, or her wrist… ha, i could go on..

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  30. Marijke

    A particularly ‘cool’ walk, I can’t explain it really, it’s just, hm…sexy. Or a fabulous haircut. And last but not least, an exposed back, tatooed of course. *dreams*

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  31. Jade

    When a girl stares at your for ages til you get to the point where your like “what?! WHAT!” and then they lean forward and kiss you.

    mm.

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  32. Shanay

    Oh goodness…

    Sexy = solid long sleeve tee with color coordinated plaid pajama pants; smaller boobs and voluptuous ass and legs; glasses after taking her contacts out; drastic sidesweep of the bangs; playfully giving me shit about loving “Bad Romance”; laying her head in my lap while I play with her hair and massage her scalp; being so content that two hours go by and you don’t even realize you’re still giving her a massage while watching a movie; her body heat; dirty talk; receiving sexy pics while at work; longboarding; laying between her legs; spooning; slightly gauged ears; love of all things Lord of the Rings and Superman; creative mind; dedication; secret desires; quiet intimacy; the occasional rough sex; Volcom & Roxy, etc. shirts; wearing nothing but a belt; me wearing her hoodie; skate shoes; brunette; boyshorts; thongs; getting ready in the bathroom with the door wide open; her protective side; grinding on the dance floor; perfect balance of masculine and feminine sides, etc…

    And Bette Porter/Jennifer Beals, Sarah Shahi, and Sara Ramirez are their very own categories of sexy.

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  33. IrishJess

    Clear pale skin with beauty spots in places that can only been seen when she bends a certain way and her top/skirt shifts … U catch ur self staring only wen she moves back to her original position and gives u a confused look and then a smug grin wen she realises why u have that stupid look on yer bake .. Ooo

    Celebs with amazing beauty spots- rose byrne, zoe tapper , etc … :D

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  34. lester

    i would have to say that i am in love with ribs on a girl!!! i have no clue why but i am so atracted to them while cuddling

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  35. kate.

    I know I’m way late on commenting on this but I don’t care… Accents!! Lip biting, women who love women, and confidence! – Which brings me to 6 things women do to their vag. Why?! Part of the reason I love women is because of what they have between their legs. Their is nothing sexier than a lady who loves her parts as much as I do. Your vag is perfect the way it is! Big, small, tight, loose, pink, purple, whatever. Keep it clean but don’t alter it or hurt it. What would compel a woman to want to do any of those things? Vag confidence is sexy.

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  36. Emma

    Reading these all made me so happy… Made me realize that I don’t need to try to be perfect or beautiful or sexy for any girl because love just happens and it’s not about the body itself, it’s about how the person shines through it. :)

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  37. Parker

    definitely eye contact, sleeve tattoos, lip biting, white tank, aviators and hip bones!

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