2011 Autostraddle Hot 100 of Real Live Lesbians: Preview

It’s almost time for the debut of the 2011 Autostraddle Hot 100! Almost.

We know you can barely even sit in your chair without screaming, you’re so excited about this, and so we’ve put together a little Preview for you.

This year, we asked you to nominate someone else for the Hot 100, which is different than last year, when most of you nominated your own damn selves. It was also different than the year before which focused more on the “heat” aspect of the list. Every year is different and special in its own way, just like you, and your weirdo friends who nominated you for this incredible honor.

What are we waiting for? LET’S GO!

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2011 Autostraddle Hot 100: Preview

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Glenn, 21. Brooklyn, NY.

Lead Guitar in Rock Band “Beast Make Bomb”

Submitted by: Kathryn, her girlfriend

“Glenn has a rad little pony/rat tail she’s been rocking, she’s really good at being totally cute and a complete badass all at the same time. She also looks super sexy in hats, and her last name is Van Dyke, which has to count for something.”

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Jackie, 23. Brooklyn, NY

“Marketing Professional”

Submitted by: LC, an Admirer

“She’s naturally beautiful, lights up a room and takes amazing photos.”
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Kyle, 20. Chicago, IL.

Actor / Singer / Dancer

 

Submitted by: Nicole, her best friend

“She has a cat that’s always in heat.”

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Alys, 28. Orange County, California.

DJ & Grad Student

Submitted by: Alice, a friend

“She’s studying how to predict and prevent droughts using satellite imaging of underground water supplies! Also, she gets the party started.”

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Annie, 25. Brooklyn, NY.

Photographer

Submitted by: her wife/best friend Caitlin

“Besides being devastatingly sexy, she actually believes she isn’t worth all the attention people lavish on her. I lavish her with lots.”
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Amber, 18. Detroit, MI.

High School Student / “Shampoo Girl”

Submitted by: Allison, her cousin and best friend

“I just asked her why she was hot and she said ‘because it’s fucking hot as hell in here’… I’ve known her since she was born and she has been a crazy bitch all her life and the funniest girl I have ever met. She also won Homecoming queen in a school where she’s a minority and can rap all of “A Milli” by Lil Wayne. When she grows up, she wants to be Riese Bernard. She’d kill me if she knew I was writing this.”

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Jennifer, 36. Oak Park, IL

Make-up Artist / Mom

Submitted by: Delza, her fiancee

“What’s hotter than a funny, sexy, sweet woman? A funny, sexy, sweet woman who is a great mom to an awesome, beautiful 6-year-old… she smells good ALL THE TIME. Like even when she’s dirty.”
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Dylan, 30. San Francisco, CA

Porn Star / Performance Artist/ Writer / Dancer

Submitted by: Her girlfriend Donny

“She’s a 5’10 platinum blond tattooed queer porn star with an even sexier brain.”

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Liz, 28. The Bronx, NY.

Retail Store Manager “for one of those super awesome girly shoe places in the mall.”

Submitted by: Gabrielle Rivera, “her domestic partner aka ‘the wifey'”

“My wife is built like a muthaf*ckin brick house… the funniest person I know on this earth — she talks shit, backs it up and then makes you laugh at yourself. You and her are now friends. Also, Liz is the kind of loyal you see in episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey — family is everything… she gets misty eyed whenever she talks to her grandmomma.

She can crack open beer bottles with her teeth. Also, Liz is the baby whisperer.

How could I not be in love with her?”

 

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Hayley, 24. Ontario, Canada

Elementary School Teacher

Submitted by: Best Buddy/ Wingwoman Corinne

“She’s easy to talk to, fun to be around, intelligent, dependable, hilarious, and very HOT. She enjoys watching Emily and Naomi on Skins and looking at pictures of Ellen Page. Any girl would be lucky to have her.”

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Stay tuned for the full 2011 Autostraddle Hot 100, debuting in ~13 days on Autostraddle.com!

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3185 articles for us.

73 Comments

  5. “… and her last name is Van Dyke, which has to count for something.”

    True story.

  6. o my… I might have to take the day off work when the whole list comes out.

  7. Oh wow. Annie’s picture is making me breathless every time I look at it and I’m scrolling back up to look at it after every word I type, honestly.

    I can’t wait for the entire list!

  8. Wow, Annie is pretty fucking hot o.O Kinda looks like a blonde-straight-hair-version of my lovely GF :)

  9. Awesome preview!! ,th skeptic in me was thinking is this gona b like all those movies that look awesome in th trailer and then it’s like “meh” when u actually go to see them?? but then I realised Ho! No! Bitch whatchu tinkin bout?! AS wouldn’t do me like that! And now I cnt wait to see what other beauties that are out there!!

    Also, duno if its been done before, but how bout “Top 100 Reasons We Love Woman” and then flip and do “100 reasons we dislike women at times” ( I don’t like th word hate and “at times” cos, c’mon who can stay made a pretty face!!) Lol

  13. Glenn = blonde Ellen Page? Wearing an adorable hat.
    Ergo, smokin’.

    Yeah AS Hot 100! Can’t wait for the full list, I’ll be swooning allll day.

  17. Jackie: Oh baby. But Alys is more my type. Totally cute! And enjoying the outdoors, as all people should.

  19. annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie annie

  20. …Am I the only person who is ecstatic to see Dylan Ryan on AS right now? My head is screaming “I HAVE SEEN YOU NAKED AND IT WAS AWESOME.”

    queer porn stars ftw!

  23. So, Kyle… ahem. Sorry, I actually lost my words there for a moment. You live here, why are you not on my Chicagostraddle meet-up list?!

    • Oh hey Jennifer from Oak Park. I really like kids. I was wondering if you might be interested in marrying me. Let me know. :-)

  29. So I guess I am not the only person swooning over Annie? Or do all of ya’ll know her personally? At any rate – LOOOOORDY.

    • i do not know her, i just find her to be very pretty and very attractive. it’s just the whole thing, like how her head is tilted back a bit or something, and everything else. and like a very slight smirk i think… very slight

  30. 1.) I honestly can’t decide who to swoon over.
    2.) Anyone else want to get Riese on the AfterEllen hot 100? Autostraddlers- unite!

  32. Annie looks like a version of Macaulay Culkin who grew up to be a sexy queer woman. And I like it.

    • I think that’s what I must be hearing – a whole bunch of vagina’s exploding across the Autostraddle universe- could’ve sworn it was popcorn…

  34. @ Jennifer – do you want more kids cuz I’d love to try to get you pregnant ;)

  36. Autostraddle has to have the most beautiful and awesome readership on the internet. True story.

  37. How cute is Alys?! Super cute smile. I heart you lady, rock on with your satellite water dealie….

    • Also, can we talk about how super beautiful Glenn is? Like woah. *pretends to be her girlfriend*

  40. I’m super-excited for the full release of the Hot 100, and these ladies are smokin’ so far.

    BUT… I have to whine for a minute. I vote for some mix next year of self-submissions and nominations because, I really wanted to do this but I couldn’t because I live in a black hole of homosexuality and have no one to submit me for it.

    Pardon the bitching. I am in finals week, sleep-deprived, failed my first final/class, have a broken water heater, two finals to take today, and am supposed to move half-way across the country in two weeks with no job. /pity party

    • Also, Glenn totally reminds me of this cute girl I’m crushing on but who has decided to not give me the time of day because I’m moving. :( *le sigh*

      On a positive note, this list makes me happy that I will soon be in a place with lots of beautiful queer women and if I stop whining maybe I can date one. And submit her for the list next year. :)

    • I think we should totally use the new AS social feature to submit some photos of girls who don’t have other queers close!

  42. I hope there’s at least one smokin’ Brit on the list, because godammit there is a LITERAL and METAPHORICAL OCEAN between me and all these sweet ladies. Mainly the LITERAL ONE though.

  43. Such a teaser, such beautiful women!!
    I wish I knew some girls around me to submit…

  44. Hola lovely ladies. Nice to meet you.

    I thought about at least two to submit, but I was too lazy to get to it ^_^ sorry. Maybe next time.

  45. i wish i could have babies with the super sexy canadian <3 hayley all the way! gorgeous

  46. Annie is my wife and I have to say she is even more beautiful and sexy in person, not to mention humble as holy hell. We’re starting a video blog that we’ll let you all know about!

  47. Sawyer: if my mate gets in, prepare yourself for some mind-blowing british hotness. Although eep now I wish I’d submitted the OTHER photo i have of her, i think the one i submitted was too grainy and far away :(

  48. Ha, I was at a Kink.com party at the Armory where Dylan got gangbanged. It was hot! Been a fan ever since. Go SF go!

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