18 Things About Gender, Poverty, Rape Culture, Racism and Modern Life Only Gavin McInnes Understands

by riese & rachel

What is Vice co-founder and current Thought Catalog thinker Gavin McInnes‘s deal? Is he just a shock jock? Traffic bait? A literal pile of garbage and obvious clickbait zipped into a human suit? Are his pieces meant to be satirical and if so, to what end and why are they so bad at being satire? Is his actual role at Thought Catalog “Troller-in-Chief?” Why did he write this fitting indictment of rapists and pedophiles who get a free pass ’cause they’re famous but also this piece about why Terry Richardson is being wronged and also this piece about how poverty is a myth? It’s really hard to figure out what this guy is going for.

We’re about 10% curious and 90% don’t care because seriously, fuck this guy and the shrine to Tucker Max in his closet. The Advocate noted that today McInnes pulled off just the most transphobic article ever, but composing a full on rebuttal is just more emotional energy than this rape apologist misogynist transphobe deserves.

Obviously there are a lot of things about being Gavin McInnes, as well as everything else, that only Gavin McInnes understands. Here are quotes pulled from his extensive body of work on Thought Catalog, thoughts which we do not understand ourselves. It’s ok though, because if there’s one thing Gavin McInnes is happy to do, it’s explain all the things we clearly aren’t smart enough to get.



1. Terry Richardson couldn’t have pressured models into having sex because “if a girl doesn’t want to have sex, she doesn’t have sex.”


(via 10 Things The Media Gets Wrong About Photographer Terry Richardson)


2.”If you see a guy in London who is really well dressed and overly polite, he is a murderer.”


(via Five Types of Guys That Make Me Horny)


3. “A woman with short hair would need the curves of Amber Rose to not look like a boy from behind. Just because you can cut off long hair doesn’t mean you can pull off short hair.”

(via Hey ladies! Short Hair is Rape!)


4. Trans men aren’t actually men, they’re just confused butch lesbians. “Butch lesbians are ladies with a lot of testosterone who should put a dick on a belt and fuck their girlfriends, not turn their vagina inside out. You’re not a man. You don’t even know what Turf Builder is.


(via Transphobia is Perfectly Natural)


5. “To fight against transphobia is to justify [tr*nnies]. To justify [tr*nnies] is to allow mentally ill people to mutilate themselves. When your actions are getting people mutilated, you’re at war with them.”


(via Transphobia is Perfcetly Natural)


6. “Men with normal dicks are consumed with better penises, and it affects everything about your friendship. It’s like being cursed with a Batman uniform when all you want to do is hang out with Robin as an equal.”



(via I’m A Big Dick and I Also Have One)

7. “When girls get drunk, they go from fun and cute… to loud and dumb… to totally unintelligible… and then catatonic. This last part is fucking scary because you know the switch is about to go CLICK and the “creature” is going to come out. The creature is a monster parasite that uses drunken women’s bodies as a host to wreak havoc on the entire city.”


(via When Is It Okay to Hit a Woman)


8. “Young girls aren’t fat but pretty much every woman over 30 could stand to lose as many pounds.”


(via Are Women Lazy)


9. “Outside of sitting in a bed surrounded by pictures of Jennifer Aniston, a woman’s favorite thing to do is go to a spa.”

(via Are Women Lazy)


10. “…when you include prison (why would you not?), men get raped way more than women do. So if anyone gets to be sanctimonious about sexual assault, it’s us.”


(via no short hair is not literally rape)


11. “Straight men are a great scapegoat because we rarely complain.”


(via Are Women Lazy)


12. “Racism doesn’t pervade every part of modern life, but when you have a liberal-arts education, anti-racism sure does.”


(via Everything I Learned in College Was a Lie)

13. “Through trial and error, I learned [women] want to be downright abused. When I stopped playing nice and began totally defiling the women I slept with, the number of them willing to sleep with me went through the roof.”


(via Everything I Learned in College Was a Lie)


14. “You can’t barf standing straight up, but if you lean your head too far down, your sinuses get filled with carrots.”


via tips on how to puke


15. “Being catcalled and constantly seen as a sex object is a tiring nightmare that has driven many a gal to Islam where she can hide her gifts in a burqa.”


via Great Feminist Anthems


16. “I’ve watched my wife give birth three times thus far and it’s not that bad.”


(via tips on how to puke)


17. “I think kids were better off when they were hanging from a basketball hoop by their underwear.”


(via Getting Wasted Is Wasted On The Young)


18. “Judging from the size of your average American poor person, they’re not exactly starving to death. “




(via The Myth of Poverty)


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Riese is the 34-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City and mellowed out in California before returning to the Detroit area to be a grown-up. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 2208 articles for us.


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      its a fertilizer for grass made by the Scotts company…….the chemicals in the fertilizer go up through the roots to the grass blades where the plan uses the chemicals to make its food through tthe process of photosynthesis when sunlight interacting with the chlorophyll which is then sent back to roots and the roots grow……..and the grass gets pretty. 🙂

      I work in the garden dept. at HomeDepot……….which technically means I have to 1. be alive and 2. be able to lift a bag of mulch

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        Nice one! Michala…:)

        Actually, when I read the reference to “turf builder”, I thought at first it was some new steroid for guys to build muscle………. somewhere other than their head…….

  1. Thumb up 19

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    1. I think I hate Thought Catalog more than I hate Buzzfeed, which is a lot.
    2. I have an urge to cut my hair even shorter than it already is
    3. How the fuck does this guy have a wife? And three kids? That means he’s had sex at least three times. How did he convince somebody to do that?

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      YES! That’s exactly what I wanted to say! I realize that there can be a certain antiseptic benefit to having the most obtuse and small-minded persons inane quotes hi-lighted for all to see, but really how much extra publicity does creep need? How many sincere persons male or female (or somewhere in-between) gay or straight (or somewhere in-between) would what to be tied to these quotes-in public?

      In the wake of having just lost such a rare combination of public humor, smarts and kindness as Robin Williams, do we really need to draw attention to TWO major assholes with a blogs and little else of note in less than twenty-four hours!? There enough online to be depressed about as it is.

  2. Thumb up 17

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    He said women don’t invent stuff or know how cement works.

    A woman invented Kevlar, which can be used to reinforce cement.
    And… just so much is wrong. So much. I’m going to just go back to Sunday Funday and purritos now, okay?

  3. Thumb up 10

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    What… I just… how… why? Is he trolling? I can’t wrap my head around anything this guy says. I feel like I need a shower now.

    Riese, thanks for putting this article together – reaction GIFs are the only way to go here, and it spared me from actually encountering his articles.

  4. Thumb up 10

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    I love how this guy just gleefully skids on his certainty that all trans people are straight.

    I’m *almost* curious about what horseshit he would come up with next if someone pointed the flaw in his ‘just a bunch of fairies and butches’ theory there.

  5. Thumb up 17

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    A moment before reading this I was superhappy a girl said yes to going out this weekend… and then I read this, and I kinda want to just bury myself.

    How about all AS folk get together, buy an island, and start our own country free of such rubbish?

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    Amid the tragi-larity of this fool, it kind of struck me that I have literally seen exactly the same shit about trans women coming from self-proclaimed feminists who would be exactly as pissed as I am about everything else he’s saying.

    If there’s any good that can possibly come out of this, I hope it makes some people question the company that transphobic opinions keep – like, that a thought process to which that stuff makes perfect sense also produces all this awful crap about rape and race and so on.

    But realistically there is probably no good that can come of Shits McAssbeard and his needy reaching to be edgy.

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    What utter horse shit.

    I’ve never been to a spa in my life, have no desire to and I care not one god damn bit for Aniston. Generalizations like these piss me off so fucking much. More so that people STILL believe/agree with them.

  8. Thumb up 10

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    I am torn between feeling angry/disgusted and just laughing hysterically at the concept that straight men get scapegoated because they “don’t complain.” Given that pathetic straight cis white dudes saying asinine things is nothing new, and I will give myself an aneurysm if I get infuriated every time it happens, I’m trying hard to make my way over to just laughing hysterically for now.

  9. Thumb up 3

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    The Jenny Schecter gif was quite nice. Thank you mister ass face for writting troll-y essays about yer assy feefees just so Riese could sift through your purposely pungent shit to write this list and use said Jenny gif.
    Mmmm Jenny.

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    Uhg, this guy sounds like the worst.

    About #10, I’ve heard that argument before, and what I hate about it is that it conveniently glosses over the fact that it is still men that are raping. So how does that contradicts the fact that we should teach men not to rape? I don’t get it…

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